Dorothy Quotes in Riders (2002)

[first lines]

Slim: Now listen up. Anyone moves, anyone sneeze, any blink an eyelid, and this young lady here - what's your name, honey?

Dorothy: Dorothy.

Slim: Dorothy here's gonna get her brains splattered all over her station. You'll be picking them out of these nooks and crannies for a week!

Dorothy: How can you talk, if you haven't got a brain?

Scarecrow: I don't know. But, some people without brains do an awful lot of talking, don't they?

Dorothy: Yes. I guess, you're right.

Dorothy: [has just arrived in Oz, looking around and awed at the beauty and splendor] Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas any more.

Dorothy: [after a pause] We must be over the rainbow!

[a bubble appears in the sky and gets closer and closer. It finally lands, then turns into Glinda the Good Witch wearing a spectacular white dress and crown, holding a wand]

Dorothy: [to Toto] Now I... I know we're not in Kansas!

Dorothy: Lions, and tigers, and bears! Oh, my!

Scarecrow: I haven't got a brain... only straw.

Dorothy: How can you talk if you haven't got a brain?

Scarecrow: I don't know... But some people without brains do an awful lot of talking... don't they?

Dorothy: Yes, I guess you're right.

Dorothy: Your Majesty, if you were king, you wouldn't be afraid of anything?

Cowardly Lion: Not nobody! Not nohow!

Tin Woodsman: Not even a rhinoceros?

Cowardly Lion: Imposerous!

Dorothy: How about a hippopotamus?

Cowardly Lion: Why, I'd thrash him from top to bottomus!

Dorothy: Supposing you met an elephant?

Cowardly Lion: I'd wrap him up in cellophane!

Scarecrow: What if it were a brontosaurus?

Cowardly Lion: I'd show him who was king of the forest!

[last lines]

Dorothy: Oh, but anyway, Toto, we're home. Home! And this is my room, and you're all here. And I'm not gonna leave here ever, ever again, because I love you all, and - oh, Auntie Em - there's no place like home!

Dorothy: [to the Scarecrow] I think I'll miss you most of all.

Dorothy: Now which way do we go?

Scarecrow: Pardon me, this way is a very nice way.

Dorothy: Who said that?

[Toto barks at scarecrow]

Dorothy: Don't be silly, Toto. Scarecrows don't talk.

Scarecrow: [points other way] It's pleasant down that way, too.

Dorothy: That's funny. Wasn't he pointing the other way?

Scarecrow: [points both ways] Of course, some people do go both ways.

Cowardly Lion: Courage! What makes a king out of a slave? Courage! What makes the flag on the mast to wave? Courage! What makes the elephant charge his tusk in the misty mist, or the dusky dusk? What makes the muskrat guard his musk? Courage! What makes the sphinx the seventh wonder? Courage! What makes the dawn come up like thunder? Courage! What makes the Hottentot so hot? What puts the "ape" in apricot? What have they got that I ain't got?

Dorothy, Scarecrow, Tin Woodsman: Courage!

Cowardly Lion: You can say that again! Huh?

Dorothy: My goodness, what a fuss you're making! Well naturally, when you go around picking on things weaker than you are. Why, you're nothing but a great big coward!

Cowardly Lion: [crying] You're right, I am a coward! I haven't any courage at all. I even scare myself.

[sobs]

Cowardly Lion: Look at the circles under my eyes. I haven't slept in weeks!

Tin Woodsman: Why don't you try counting sheep?

Cowardly Lion: That doesn't do any good, I'm afraid of 'em.

[sobs loud]

Scarecrow: Aw, that's too bad.

Dorothy: My! People come and go so quickly here!

Dorothy: [singing] Somewhere Over The Rainbow, Bluebirds fly. Birds fly Over The Rainbow. Why then, oh why can't I? If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow, why oh why cant I?

Tin Woodsman: What have you learned, Dorothy?

Dorothy: Well, I - I think that it - it wasn't enough to just want to see Uncle Henry and Auntie Em - and it's that - if I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further than my own back yard. Because if it isn't there, I never really lost it to begin with! Is that right?

Auntie Em: Help us out today and find yourself a place where you won't get into any trouble!

Dorothy: A place where there isn't any trouble. Do you suppose there is such a place, Toto? There must be. It's not a place you can get to by a boat or a train. It's far, far away. Behind the moon, beyond the rain...

[begins to sing "Over the Rainbow"]

Captain of the Winkie Guard: [after the Wicked Witch has melted] She's... She's dead. You killed her.

Dorothy: I didn't mean to kill her. Really, I didn't. It's just that he was on fire.

Captain of the Winkie Guard: Hail to Dorothy! The Wicked Witch is dead!

The Winkies: [all kneel before Dorothy] *Hail*! Hail to Dorothy! The Wicked Witch is dead!

Dorothy: The broom! May we have it?

Captain of the Winkie Guard: [hands Dorothy the broomstick] Please. And take it with you.

Dorothy: Oh, thank you so much! Now we can go back to the Wizard, and tell him the Wicked Witch is dead!

The Winkies: The Wicked Witch is dead!

Dorothy: It really was no miracle. What happened was just this...

Dorothy: [singing] The wind began to switch / The house, to pitch / And suddenly the hinges started to unhitch / Just then the Witch / To satisfy an itch / Went flying on her broomstick, thumbing for a hitch!

Munchkin: And, oh, what happened then was rich!

Munchkins: [singing] The house began to pitch / The kitchen took a slich / It landed on the Wicked Witch in the middle of a ditch / Which was not a happy situation for the Wicked Witch!

Dorothy: Did you say something?

Tin Woodsman: [indiscernible sounds from the Tin Man, who is rusted]

Dorothy: He said oil can!

Scarecrow: Oil can what?

Dorothy: Oil can.

[Dorothy, the Scarecrow, and the Tin Man watch as the Wicked Witch of the West vanishes into a fireball]

Scarecrow: I'm not afraid of her! I'll see you get safely to the Wizard now, whether I get a brain or not. Stuff a mattress with me. Ha!

Tin Woodsman: I'll see you reach the Wizard, whether I get a heart or not. Beehive, bah! Let her try and make a beehive out of me!

[snaps]

Dorothy: Oh, you're the best friends anybody ever had. And it's funny, but I feel as if I'd known you all the time, but I couldn't have, could I?

Scarecrow: I don't see how. You weren't around when I was stuffed and sewn together, were you?

Tin Woodsman: And I was standing over there, rusting for the longest time.

Dorothy: Still, I wish I could remember, but I guess it doesn't matter anyway. We know each other now, don't we?

Scarecrow: That's right.

Tin Woodsman: We do.

Scarecrow: To Oz?

Tin Woodsman: To Oz.

Dorothy: Goodbye, Tinman. Oh, don't cry! You'll rust so dreadfully. Here's your oil can.

Tin Woodsman: Now I know I've got a heart, 'cause it's breaking...

Dorothy: Goodbye, Lion. I know it isn't right, but I'm going to miss the way you used to hollar for help before you found your courage.

Cowardly Lion: I never would've found it if it hadn't been for you...

Dorothy: [to Scarecrow] I think I'm going to miss you most of all.

Dorothy: You go away or I - I'll bite you myself!

Auntie Em: Dorothy!

Dorothy: [Reaches to pick an apple from the apple tree, the tree grabs the apple and slaps her hand] Ouch!

Angry Apple Tree: What do you think you're doing?

Dorothy: We've been walking a long ways and I was hungry and... did you say something?

Angry Apple Tree: She was hungry!

Apple Tree: [Repeating after The Angry Apple Tree] She was hungry!

Angry Apple Tree: Well, how would you like to have someone come along and pick something off of you?

Dorothy: Oh, dear! I keep forgetting I'm not in Kansas!

Scarecrow: Come along, Dorothy. You don't want any of those apples!

[harrumphs]

Glinda, the Good Witch of the North: Are you a good witch, or a bad witch?

Dorothy: I'm not a witch at all. I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas.

Glinda, the Good Witch of the North: Oh. Well, is that the witch?

Dorothy: Who, Toto? Toto's my dog!

Dorothy: [Toto is held hostage by the Witch and one of her monkeys] What are you gonna do to my dog? Give him back to me!

Wicked Witch of the West: All in good time, my little pretty. All in good time.

Dorothy: Oh, please give me back my dog?

Wicked Witch of the West: Certainly. Certainly. When you give me those slippers.

Dorothy: But, The Good Witch of the North told me not to.

Wicked Witch of the West: Very well.

[to her flying monkey]

Wicked Witch of the West: Throw that basket into the river and drown him!

Dorothy: No, no, no! Here... You can have your old slippers. But, give me back Toto!

Wicked Witch of the West: That's a good little girl. I know you'd see reason!

[the Witch stoops to steal the shoes. But, fire burns Dorothy's toes and the Witch's hands. she reacts in pain]

Wicked Witch of the West: Ohhhh!

Dorothy: I'm sorry! I didn't do it. Can I still have my dog?

Wicked Witch of the West: No! Fool that I am! I should have remembered! Those slippers will never come off as long as you're alive. But's that not what's worrying me. It's how to do it. These things must be done delicately or you hurt the spell.

Dorothy: Oh please, Professor, why can't we go with you and see all the Crowned Heads of Europe?

Professor Marvel: Do you know any? Oh, you mean the... thing. Yes.

Dorothy: Weren't you frightened?

Wizard of Oz: Frightened? Child, you're talking to a man who's laughed in the face of death, sneered at doom, and chuckled at catastrophe... I was petrified.

Scarecrow: Witch? Hmph, I'm not afraid of a witch. I'm not afraid of anything - except a lighted match.

[points to the straw in his arm]

Dorothy: I don't blame you for that.

Dorothy: Oh, Thank you so much! We've been gone such a long time and we feel so messy... What kind of a horse is that? I've never seen a horse like that before!

Guardian of the Emerald City Gates: And never will again, I fancy. There's only one of him and he's it. He's the Horse of a Different Color, you've heard tell about.

Dorothy: What would you do with a brain if you had one?

Dorothy: [as the Wizard's balloon goes off without her] Come back! Come back! Don't go without me! Please come back!

Wizard of Oz: I can't come back, I don't know how it works! Good-bye, folks!

Cowardly Lion: [singing] I'd be brave as a blizzard...

Tin Woodsman: [singing] I'd be gentle as a lizard...

Scarecrow: [singing] I'd be clever as a gizzard...

Dorothy: [singing] If the Wizard is a wizard who will serve.

Scarecrow: [singing] Then I'm sure to get a brain...

Tin Woodsman: [singing] A heart...

Dorothy: [singing] A home...

Cowardly Lion: [singing] The nerve!

Dorothy: I've got a witch mad at me and you might get into trouble!

[first lines]

Dorothy: She isn't coming yet, Toto. Did she hurt you? She tried to, didn't she? Come on. We'll go tell Uncle Henry and Auntie Em.

Dorothy: [in the Wizard's Throne Room with the three others, having returned from the Witch's castle] Please, sir. We've done what you told us. We brought you the broomstick of the Wicked Witch of the West. We melted her!

Wizard of Oz: Oh, you liquidated her, eh? Very resourceful!

Dorothy: Where do you want to be oiled first?

Cowardly Lion: I'll get you anyway, Pee-wee.

[Chases Toto; Dorothy hits him on the nose]

Dorothy: Shame on you!

Cowardly Lion: [Sobbing] Why did you do that for? I didn't bite him.

Dorothy: No, but you tried to. It's bad enough picking on a straw man, but picking on a little dog.

Cowardly Lion: Well, you didn't have to go and hit me! Is my nose bleeding?

Dorothy: Of course not.

Wicked Witch of the West: Who killed my sister? Who killed the Witch of the East? Was it you?

Dorothy: No, no. It was an accident. I didn't mean to kill anybody.

Wicked Witch of the West: Well, my little pretty, I can cause accidents, too!

Manicurist in Emerald City: We can make a dimpled smile out of a frown.

Dorothy: Can you even dye my eyes to match my gown?

Manicurist in Emerald City: Uh-huh.

Dorothy: Jolly old town!

Dorothy: I'm frightened, Auntie Em! I'm frightened!

[Auntie Em's image appears in the crystal ball]

Auntie Em: Dorothy? Dorothy? Where are you? It's me, Auntie Em! We're trying to find you! Where are you?

Dorothy: I'm here in Oz, Auntie Em! I'm locked in the witch's castle, and I'm trying to get home to you, Auntie Em!

[Auntie Em's image fades out]

Dorothy: Oh, Auntie Em, don't go away! I'm frightened! Come back! Come back!

[the Wicked Witch's image appears in the crystal ball]

Wicked Witch of the West: Auntie Em! Auntie Em! Come back! I'll give you Auntie Em, my pretty!

[cackling, to the audience, cackling again and the Wicked Witch's image fades out]

Dorothy: Do you suppose we'll meet any wild animals?

Tin Woodsman: Mm, we might.

Scarecrow: Animals that eat... s-traw?

Tin Woodsman: Some, but mostly lions, and tigers, and bears.

Dorothy: Lions?

Scarecrow: And tigers?

Tin Woodsman: And bears.

Guardian of the Emerald City Gates: Who rang that bell?

Dorothy, Scarecrow, Cowardly Lion, Tin Woodsman: [all four together] We did!

Guardian of the Emerald City Gates: Can't you read?

Scarecrow: Read what?

Guardian of the Emerald City Gates: The notice!

Dorothy: What notice?

Guardian of the Emerald City Gates: It's on the door - as plain as the nose on my face! It... oh...

[does a "tisk tisk tisk" expression, goes inside door for a moment]

Guardian of the Emerald City Gates: [Guardian hangs the notice and goes back inside]

Dorothy, Scarecrow, Cowardly Lion, Tin Woodsman: [Reading notice, all together] Bell out of order, please knock.

[Dorothy knocks]

Guardian of the Emerald City Gates: Well, that's more like it! Now, state your business!

Dorothy: [Dorothy and friends, all together] We want to see the Wizard!

Guardian of the Emerald City Gates: [gasps] The Wizard? But nobody can see the Great Oz! Nobody's ever seen the Great Oz! Even I've never seen him!

Dorothy: Well, then how do you know there is one?

Guardian of the Emerald City Gates: Oh, you're wasting my time!

[starts to close the window]

Dorothy: Oh, please! Please, sir! I've got to see the Wizard! The Good Witch of the North sent me!

Guardian of the Emerald City Gates: Prove it!

Scarecrow: She's wearing the ruby slippers she gave her.

Guardian of the Emerald City Gates: Oh, so she is! Well, bust my buttons! Why didn't you say that in the first place? That's a horse of a different color! Come on in!

Zeke: Listen, kid. Are you gonna try and let that old Gulch heifer try and buffalo ya'? She ain't nothing to be afraid of. Have a little courage, that's all.

Dorothy: I'm not afraid of her.

Zeke: Well then, next time she squawks, walk right up to her and spit in her eye. That's what I'd do.

Hunk: Now look here, Dorothy, you ain't using your head about Miss Gulch. You'd think you didn't have any brains at all.

Dorothy: I have so got brains.

Hunk: Well, why don't you use them? When you come home, don't go by Miss Gulch's place. Then Toto won't get in her garden, and you won't get in no trouble. See?

Dorothy: Oh Hunk, you just won't listen, that's all.

Hunk: Well, your head ain't made of straw, you know.

Cowardly Lion: [getting a panic attack walking into the Wizard's foyer] Wait a minute, Fellows. I was just thinking. I really don't want to see the Wizard this much. I'd better wait for you outside.

Scarecrow: What's the matter?

Tin Woodsman: Oh, he's just a scared again.

Dorothy: Don't you know the Wizard's going to give you some courage?

Cowardly Lion: I'd be too scared to ask him for it.

[sobs]

Dorothy: Well then, we'll ask him for you.

Cowardly Lion: I'd sooner wait outside.

Dorothy: Why? Why?

Cowardly Lion: Because I'm still scared.

[sobs]

Jack Pumpkinhead: If his brain's ran down, how can he talk?

Dorothy: It happens to people all the time, Jack.

[regarding headless statues]

Dorothy: Look, Billina, these ones have lost their heads.

Billina: Now, that's what I call just plain carelessness

Dorothy: [On her final guess Dorothy is about to guess on a bird statue, but then spots and emerald and chooses that instead] Oz!

Scarecrow: [Restored from ornament form] Dorothy!

The Nome King: [In his throne room the Nome King hears the echo of the scarecrow saying "Dorothy"] Smudge and blazes!

Dorothy: [Back in ornament room] Scarecrow!

Scarecrow: Dorothy.

[the two embrace]

Dorothy: You were green.

Scarecrow: What?

Dorothy: You were a green ornament.

Scarecrow: I was?

Dorothy: Maybe people from Oz turn into green ornaments.

Mombi III: You will be rather attractive... one day. Not at all beautiful, you understand, but you have a certain... prettiness. Different from my other heads. I believe I'll lock you in the tower for a few years till your head is ready. And then I'll take it.

Dorothy: I believe you will NOT!

Nurse Wilson: Lie down.

Dorothy: I'd like to sit up, if I may.

Nurse Wilson: What did your aunt tell you?

Dorothy: To do what you told me, Miss Wilson.

Nurse Wilson: Then, lie down.

[the attendants are strapping Dorothy to the stretcher]

Dorothy: Why do you have to tie me down?

Nurse Wilson: So that you don't fall off.

Dorothy: I came all the way from the farm on a buggy and I didn't fall off.

[They start to wheel Dorothy down the hall]

Dorothy: Did I hear somebody scream earlier?

Nurse Wilson: No.

[They wheel Dorothy through some double doors. Dr. Worley is adjusting his machine]

Dr. J.B. Worley: Hello, Dorothy. How are you?

Dorothy: I wish I wasn't tied down.

Ozma: Why did they bring you here, Dorothy?

Dorothy: Because I can't sleep, and I talk about a place that I've been to, but nobody believes that it exists.

Dr. J.B. Worley: And how did you come back from... Oz?

Dorothy: With my ruby slippers.

Dr. J.B. Worley: How did they work?

Dorothy: You put them on and you click your heels three times, and you say "There's no place like home".

Dr. J.B. Worley: Dorothy, where are those slippers now?

Dorothy: I lost them. They fell off on the way back.

Dorothy: This is the old house! The one the tornado blew away. This is how I got into Oz the first time. That used to be my bedroom, and in there was the kitchen... And that's where I landed on the Wicked Witch of the East. But where all the munchkins?

Dorothy: Oh no...

Billina: That's just a yellow brick.

Dorothy: No, Billina. This was the yellow brick road. It leads to the Emerald City!

Dorothy: You're so beautiful. What's your name?

Ozma: Ozma.

Jack Pumpkinhead: MOM! My *real* mom!

[he faints into the crowd]

Gump: The last thing I remember is walking through the forest and hearing a loud noise. Now, here I am flying through the air. What am I anyway?

Dorothy: You're a... a thing, with a Gump's head on it. We built you and brought you to life so you can take us to the Nome King; to rescue the Scarecrow.

Jack Pumpkinhead: [everybody's falling off the Gump and out of the sky] I'm sorry, Mom!

Dorothy: It's okay, Jack, it can't be helped now!

Lead Wheeler: Please, let me go. Please, please, let me go. Pleeaase, let me go! Let me go!

Dorothy: All right Tik Tok, let him go.

Tik-Tok: [to Wheeler] Behave yourself now!

Lead Wheeler: I WILL behave! I'll-I'll behave!

[Tik Tok lets him go]

Lead Wheeler: [Wheeler laughs] Behave!

[skates away]

Lead Wheeler: [laughing] Behave... I'll be... - ohhps!

[falls]

Lead Wheeler: [laughing] YOU BEHAVE!

[laughing]

Dorothy: Patented Clockwork Mechanical Man. Does everything but live. For Thinking, wind number 1 under left arm. For Speaking, wind number 2 under right arm. For Walking & Action, wind number 3, middle of back. Guaranteed to work perfectly for a thousand years.

Billina: Aww, you don't believe that do ya?

Dorothy: I don't know. I'll wind him up and we'll see.

Dorothy: [On her final guess Dorothy is about to guess on a bird statue, but then spots an emerald and chooses that instead] Oz!

Scarecrow: [Restored from ornament form] Dorothy!

The Nome King: [In his throne room the Nome King hears the echo of the scarecrow saying "Dorothy"] Smudge and blazes!

Dorothy: [Back in ornament room] Scarecrow!

Scarecrow: Dorothy.

[the two embrace]

Dorothy: You were green.

Scarecrow: What?

Dorothy: You were a green ornament.

Scarecrow: I was?

Dorothy: Maybe people from Oz turn into green ornaments.

Scarecrow: Success, fame, and fortune, they're all illusions. All there is that is real is the friendship that two can share.

Dorothy: That's beautiful! Who said that?

Scarecrow: [modestly] I did.

Scarecrow: Now I'll never get my brain!

Tinman: Nor my heart.

Lion: Or my courage

Dorothy: But you don't need them now because you've had them all the time. Scarecrow, you're the one who figured out how to find the yellow brick road and how to destroy Evillene, and every smart move we've made, didn't you? Lion, you wouldn't even give up when Evillene strung you up by your tail. And, Tin Man, you have more heart than anyone I've ever known.

Tinman: [hopeful] Honest?

Dorothy: Yeah, you never needed anything from the fake wizard, anyway.

The Wiz: Dorothy...

[pause]

The Wiz: Can you do something for me?

Dorothy: They've had what they've been searching for in them all along. I don't what's in you. You'll have to find that out for yourself. But I do know one thing: you'll never find it in the safety of this room. I tried that all my life. It doesn't work. There's a whole world out there. And you'll have to begin by letting people see who you really are.

Glinda the Good: Hello, Dorothy.

Dorothy: Please, is there a way for me to get back home?

Glinda the Good: Well, Dorothy, you were wise and good enough to help your friends to come here and find what was inside them all the time. That's true for you, also.

Dorothy: Home? Inside of me? I don't understand.

Glinda the Good: Home is a place we all must find, child. It's not just a place where you eat or sleep. Home is knowing. Knowing your mind, knowing your heart, knowing your courage. If we know ourselves, we're always home, anywhere.

Lion: Mamma would be so proud - goin' to see da WIZ!

[preens]

Lion: My momma used to say ta me, Fleet -...

Tinman, Scarecrow, Dorothy: FLEET?

Lion: That's my name: Fleetwood Coupe de Ville!

Tinman, Scarecrow, Dorothy: [snickers]

Lion: Momma had high ideals...

Tinman: Yeah!

Lion: Y'know what I mean?

Tinman: Yeah!

[Lion and Tin Man high-five]

Tinman: Ha hah!

[last lines]

Dorothy: [sings] When I think of home, I think of a place where there's love overflowing. I wish I was home, I wish I was back there with the things I been knowing. Wind that makes the tall trees bend into leaning. Suddenly, the snowflakes that fall have a meaning. Sprinkling the scene, makes it all clean. Maybe there's a chance for me to go back, now that I have some direction. It would sure be nice to be back home where there's love and affection. And just maybe I can convince time to slow up, giving me enough time in my life to grow up. Time, be my friend, let me start again. Suddenly my world's gone and changed its face, but I still know where I'm going. I have had my mind spun around in space, and yet I've watched it growing. And if you're listening, God, please don't make it hard to know if we should believe in the things that we see. Tell us, should we run away, should we try and stay, or would it be better just to let things be? Living here, in this brand new world might be a fantasy, but it taught me to love, so it's real, real to me. And I've learned that we must look inside our hearts to find a world full of love, like yours, like mine. Like home!

The Munchkins: [after the Witch is killed, the Munchkins turn from graffiti back into children] Two, 4, 6, 8! Who do we appreciate?

Dorothy: [terrified] No! No!

Scarecrow: I'll think about you all the time, Dorothy!

Tinman: And I'll miss you... every day. Even if I had to go back to that junk pile... even as teeny's seat cushion... I wouldn't mind... because I have known... real love.

[cries]

Dorothy: Aww... don't rust yourself now.

[wipes away the tears]

Dorothy: He must really be in shock!

Tinman: Oh, what I wouldn't give to be in shock! Just Once!

Dorothy: You mean, you sent us to kill Evillene, knowing we might never come back?

The Wiz: She would have killed me, she would have found out I had no power, and took over Oz.

Dorothy: That's no excuse.

Dorothy: [Attempting to make the Tinman cry] Quick! Find a really sad saying!

Scarecrow: [Reaches into his hair and pulls out a piece of paper] Uh... showers this morning, clearing by tonight!

Dorothy: What's the number for 911?

[first lines]

Dorothy: Hi Rose.

Rose 'Rosie' Straight: Hi Dorothy.

Alvin Straight: [can be heard collapsing inside his house]

Jerry Maguire: [babbling and struggling] I love you. You... you complete me. And I just...

Dorothy: Shut up,

[pause]

Dorothy: just shut up.

[Pause]

Dorothy: You had me at "hello". You had me at "hello".

Dorothy: I love him! I love him for the man he wants to be. And I love him for the man he almost is.

Jerry Maguire: What do you want from me? My soul?

Dorothy: Why not? I deserve that much.

Dorothy: I just want to be inspired.

Jerry Maguire: This is going to change everything.

Dorothy: Promise?

Marcee Tidwell: [shouting at Jerry in his office] What do you stand for?

Dorothy: How about a little piece of integrity in this world that is so full of greed and a lack of honorability that I don't know what to tell my son! Except, "Here. Have a look at a guy who isn't yelling 'Show me the money." Did you know he's broke? He is broke and working for you for free! Broke. Broke, broke, broke. I'm sorry I'm just not as good at the insults as she is.

Marcee Tidwell: No, that was pretty good.

Dorothy: Maybe love shouldn't be such hard work.

Dorothy: On the surface, everything seems fine. I've got this great guy. And he loves my kid. And he sure does like me a lot. And I can't live like that. It's not the way I'm built.

[Dorothy enters kitchen, catching Laurel eavesdropping]

Laurel: I heard.

Dorothy: No kidding. I looked over and saw the shadow of two curious shoes under the kitchen door.

Laurel: Dorothy, this guy would go home with a gardening tool if it showed interest.

Dorothy: [referring to Jerry] He's coming over.

Laurel: Tonight?

Dorothy: He just lost his best client. I invited the guy over.

Laurel: Dorothy, this is not a guy. It's a syndrome. Early mid-life. Hanging on to the bottom rung. "Dear God, don't let me be alone or I call my newly-long-suffering-assistant-without-medical for company settlement." If now all you still want is him to come over, I'm not saying anything.

Dorothy: Honey, he's engaged.

Dorothy: I was inspired, and I'm an accountant.

[Jerry and Dorothy are in the elevator and a hearing impaired couple gets on. The man of the couple starts talking with his hands, then they get off]

Jerry Maguire: I wonder what he just said.

Dorothy: My favorite aunt is hearing impaired. He just said "You complete me".

Dorothy: I have this great guy. And he loves my son. And he sure does like me a lot.

Ray: [after overhearing how Jerry proposed to his fiancé] What's wrong, Mommy?

Dorothy: First class, that's what's wrong. It used to be a better meal, now it's a better life.

Dorothy: [to Laurel] I've had three lovers in the past four years, and they all ran a distant second to a good book and a warm bath.

Dorothy: Look at me Laurel, I'm the oldest 26 year old in the world.

Dorothy: [to Jerry at the airport with Ray] I'm sure giving a ride would just make your day to drive us all the way out to Manhattan Beach making that left a little tiny wider than the street playing chicken with the oncoming traffic, your life flashing before your eyes I've obviously had too much coffee

Dorothy: I believe in love. Not just getting it, but giving it. I think that if you're able to love someone, even if they don't know it, even if they can't love you back, then it's worth it.

Nick Charles: Now how did you ever remember me?

Dorothy: Oh, you used to fascinate me. A real live detective. You used to tell me the most wonderful stories. Were they true?

Nick Charles: Probably not.

Dorothy: You're not missing much. He's cuckoo!

Clyde Wynant, the thin man: Like all the rest of us.

Clyde Wynant, the thin man: Is this fellow - has he seen the whole family?

Dorothy: Yes and he still wants to marry me.

Clyde Wynant, the thin man: He's a brave man!

Gil: You have an Oedipus complex and you won't admit it.

Dorothy: Oh, please, Gilbert.

Gil: The trouble with you is you won't face facts. Now, I know I have a mother fixation - but, it's slight. It hasn't yet reached the point of where I...

Dorothy: Stop it, Gilbert! Stop it!

Tommy: [Toasting] Here's to you two.

Nick Charles: And here's to you two too.

[Hears the sound of a train whistle]

Nick Charles: Why the rat! He can't top us!

Dorothy: No!

Tommy, Nick Charles, Dorothy, Nora Charles: To-Toooooooo!

Tommy: Why did your mother divorce your father? I think he's swell.

Dorothy: Well, it seems he had a secretary.

Tommy: Oh! Well, I'll do my own typing.

Dorothy: [in a letter] Dear Hermie: I must go home now. I'm sure you'll understand. There's much I have to do. I won't try and explain what happened last night because I know that, in time, you'll find a proper way in which to remember it. What I will do is remember you. And I pray that you be spared all senseless tragedies. I wish you good things, Hermie. Only good things. Always, Dorothy.

Dorothy: Oh, you drink coffee, don't you?

Hermie: [trying to sound like an adult] ... I consume a couple of cups a day.

Dorothy: Well, I have milk.

Hermie: Oh, no. I take it black.

Dorothy: What?

Damian Cunningham: I need a wee.

Dorothy: Tell her that. Can he use your loo?

Cashier 2: I'm not sure.

Dorothy: The poor kid's been in here half an hour. You must have a loo. What do you do when you need to go?

Dorothy: Where's the groom-to-be?

Karen: He's not here yet.

Dorothy: You know Paul, he always comes a little late.

Buck: What do you think of that, Kenny?

Dorothy: These are going to be our in-laws, so we really have to make sure that...

Buck: Honey, I'm a pants salesman. I think I know how to act around people.

Dorothy: [upon being served a plate of chicken] What's that? What did you do?

Jeff: Mum, please.

Dorothy: Where's the rest of her? Who did this?

Jeff: Nobody did anything.

Dorothy: Did you kill her?

Jeff: Mum, I didn't kill it.

Dorothy: It? She had a mother and a father, Jeff.

Jeff: It's free range.

Dorothy: What does that mean?

Jeff: It means it was free range. It was a happy chicken running around a massive field with other happy chickens. It had a good life.

Dorothy: Why do you keep saying "it"? I haven't seen any fields with birds wandering around. Where are they, Jeff? Where?

Jeff: Mum, I'm really hungry.

Dorothy: Well, have a cracker!

Dorothy: Did you have an accident, Ned?

Edward 'Ned' Seton: Apparently. I don't seem to have been there when it happened.

Petula: I've never seen a pink and white dog before.

Dorothy: He's half part pedigree, half part acrylic.

Petula: Really? Never heard of them.

Man in Elevator: Somebody smells nice.

Dorothy: Don't look at me. It's the dog.

Dorothy: I need a smoke! I'm on the run from a maniac. So's my dog.

Brian: [while having a fatal seizure] Fick mich! Fick mich! Fick mich in meinen Arsch!

Dorothy: What is the matter with him? Is he German?

Dorothy: You told me you couldn't drive.

Petula: I can't. Brian was giving me lessons. Well, at least he was screaming filthy abuse at me and punching me in an old Saab.

Dorothy: Ah, parliamo italiano?

Gregory: No, not really. Just bella, bella.

Dorothy: Men. Boys. What's the difference?

Donald: [Knock at the door] Hey, anybody want to buy a Saturday Evening Post?

Dorothy: No!

Donald: I'm working my way through college. Ha! Oh, you didn't know me. Hello, Phillip. Sylvia. John. And you, young lady.

[Kisses Dorothy]

Dorothy: Ohhh, Brandy before dinner.

Donald: Oh, I only had a couple. I'd a been here earlier, only I...

Dorothy: Only you came later.

Donald: That's right.

Donald: [Scratches his shot at the pool table] Ohhh!

Dorothy: Little drunkie, huh?

Donald: Just a little.

Dorothy: Well, I'm not romantic. Its just not my nature. But, I'm awfully glad for you, Donald. I hope you'll be happy.

Donald: Thanks. You're a peach.

Dorothy: [At the pool table] Twenty-five points. Two dollars a point.

Tony: You couldn't make that five dollars a point, could you?

Dorothy: You got it.

Tony: Not yet, but, soon.

Dr. Harvey: May I see your tongue?

Dorothy: Awwww!

Dr. Harvey: Its apparently just a slight cold. There's nothing to be concerned about.

Dorothy: Fine. Well, good day, gentlemen.

Connors: Listen to the Doctor...

Dr. Harvey: Take a small whiskey in bed tonight and bundle up.

Dorothy: Alright, I'll get drunk, just as you say.

Dorothy: Now, were where we?

Tony: Eh, You made a very nice impression on me Tony. A very nice impression.

Dorothy: Yes, a very nice impression. So, you can imagine my surprise when I saw this model young man, who was not fawning on wealth, out canoeing with the very girl he just said he wouldn't fawn on. You follow that?

Tony: Oh now, wait a minute, just 'cause she's the richest girl in the world is nothing to hold against her.

Dorothy: That's big of you.

Tony: No, but, you know, every time you hear of a man married to a rich girl you think he's a mucker. Now, I don't believe in that.

Tony: Oh, its possible, I may get married someday. You know how those things are. And who'll I marry?

Dorothy: I don't know.

Tony: Some nice girl, that's who. No, whom. No, who! Some nice girl, that's who. And I'll get to know her and I'll be able to talk to her, you know, like a pal. Like this! Like we're talking.

Dorothy: Yes.

Tony: Certainly!

Dorothy: I'm drinking, Tony, to you marrying the richest girl in the world.

Tony: Ha-ha-ha. You're drunk, baby.

Tony: I couldn't afford the campaign to get a girl like that.

Dorothy: What do you mean?

Tony: Well, here, for instance, 12 dollars for a steak.

Dorothy: They'll charge that to Miss Hunter.

Tony: You know, to romance a girl like that would cost a fortune.

Dorothy: Isn't it worth it?

Tony: If you hit the bell it would be. But, I've only got 18 hundred dollars to may name. That probably wouldn't even get two full meals, here.

Dorothy: Don't do that.

Tony: Why not?

Dorothy: I don't want you to.

Tony: Oh, yes you do.

Dorothy: Aren't you conceited.

Tony: [Kiss] You're sweet.

Dorothy: Millicent, dear, you simply mustn't let people see how badly you feel. Do brighten up.

Ronald: Yes, Dorothy's right. Come on, cheer up, honey. Gay is the password!

Millicent: I'm sorry, I meant to be gay.

Dorothy's Father: Give him time, Dorothy. It just came over the radio. They might still be on the streets looking for him. THey'll shoot him!

Dorothy: I hope they do! I hope they kill him!

Dorothy's Father: [Shocked] Dorothy!

Dorothy: No, let him pay for his sins! You don't know him... the way he lives... the things he did. He's rotten! He's no-good!

Dorothy: [Staring a bearded lady smoking in a corner] That woman's got a beard.

Dorothy: Fame and fortune... really FUCKS YOU UP!