Doris Murphy Quotes in A League of Their Own (1992)

Jimmy Dugan: Evelyn, could you come here, you got a second? Which team do you play for?

Evelyn Gardner: Well, I'm a Peach.

Jimmy Dugan: Well I was just wonderin' why you would throw home when we got a two-run lead. You let the tying run get on second base and we lost the lead because of you. Start using your head. That's the lump that's three feet above your ass.

[Evelyn starts to cry]

Jimmy Dugan: Are you crying? Are you crying? ARE YOU CRYING? There's no crying! THERE'S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL!

Doris Murphy: Why don't you give her a break, Jimmy...

Jimmy Dugan: Oh, you zip it, Doris! Rogers Hornsby was my manager, and he called me a talking pile of pigshit. And that was when my parents drove all the way down from Michigan to see me play the game. And did I cry?

Evelyn Gardner: No, no, no.

Jimmy Dugan: Yeah! NO. And do you know why?

Evelyn Gardner: No...

Jimmy Dugan: Because there's no crying in baseball. THERE'S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL! No crying!

Mae Mordabito: Evelyn. Evelyn. I'm sorry but I have to kill your son.

[begins to chase Stillwell with a bat]

Doris Murphy: Mae! Mae! Don't use my bat! Use Marla's. It's heavier.

Mae Mordabito: [During the league's publicity drive] What if at a key moment in the game my, my uniform bursts open and, uh, oops., my bosoms come flying out? That, that might draw a crowd, right?

Doris Murphy: You think there are men in this country who ain't seen your bosoms?

Dottie Hinson: [Upon seeing Marla drunk and singing with the band] What did you do to her?

Doris Murphy: Nothin', we just gave her a dress.

Mae Mordabito: And a lotta liquor!

Doris Murphy: Hey Mae, Mae, your date's here.

Mae Mordabito: How do I look?

Doris Murphy: Where'd you get that dress?

Mae Mordabito: Borrowed it.

Doris Murphy: It don't fit you, Mae, it's too tight.

Mae Mordabito: I don't plan on wearing it that long.

Doris Murphy: Ohh. I don't know why you get dressed at all.

Mae Mordabito: [at Tryouts] Ya know they got over a hundred girls here. So some of yous are going home.

Kit Keller: What do you mean some of us?

[Doris throws a fast ball at Kit, which Dottie catches with her bare hands]

Mae Mordabito: OK, some of them are going home.

Doris Murphy: Hey, how'd you do that?

Doris Murphy: [Mae is in confession; a thud is heard] It's the second time he dropped that Bible since she's been in.

[Mae comes out, reverend looks shocked]

Doris Murphy: Mae. What did you say?

Mae Mordabito: Everything.

Doris Murphy: Okay, let's make like a bread truck and haul buns ladies.

Doris Murphy: Evelyn. Your kid ate the line up.

Doris Murphy: I knew it, ya killed Ms. Cuthbert!

Mae Mordabito: We'll bury her, I know a guy!

Dottie Hinson: Hey, hey, hey, you guys, come on! How hard can it be to make a lineup? Come on!

Doris Murphy: Oh yeah? Well, why don't you do it, Oregon?

Dottie Hinson: Me?

Mae Mordabito, Doris Murphy: [Together] Yeah, you!

Dottie Hinson: Alright, Mae, center field, lead off.

Mae Mordabito: She's good!

Jimmy Dugan: All right, everyone, let's listen up now, listen up. Hey! I don't know what that kid is doing, but get him away from the tape! Stilwell Something important has just happened. I was in the toilet reading my contract, and it turns out, I get a bonus when we get to the World Series. So, let's play hard, let's play smart, use your heads.

Doris Murphy: [quoting him] That's that lump three feet above our ass, right, Jimmy?

[laughter]

Doris Murphy: What are you lookin' at?

Dottie Hinson: Nothing.

Doris Murphy: That's right, nothin'.

Kit Keller: [while the team is stranded out on the road] Dottie, you going to come with us?

Dottie Hinson: Where are you going?

Mae Mordabito: A road house called the Sud's Bucket.

Dottie Hinson: Ah, no. You know, I'm married...

Doris Murphy: C'mon Dottie, you ain't on the farm any more, live a little bit!

Miss Cuthbert: Girls, girls, please! Mr. Goosatelli shan't be returning.

[Goes back on the bus]

Dottie Hinson: Hey, what are you going to do about Ms. Cuthbert? How are you going to get past her?

Kit Keller: Mae's going to poison her dinner.

Dottie Hinson: WHAT?

[Girls laugh]