Dorcas Quotes in The Great Muppet Caper (1981)

Dorcas: What would you buy if you were bored?

Neville: Uh... a jar of calf's foot jelly.

Dorcas: Which of the boys slept in this bed, do you suppose?

Sarah: [gasps] Dorcas Galen!

Dorcas: What's the matter? Didn't you ever think of that; that you're sleeping in one of *their* beds?

Rev. Elcott: [after rounding up the girls] We're all fathers here and we love you, so don't be afraid to answer. A while back I heard a wee babe crying in the house. Whose is it?

[girls look at one another]

Rev. Elcott: Whose is it, don't be afraid to tell?

Dorcas, Alice, Sarah, Liza, Ruth, Martha: [all at once and smiling] Mine!

Dorcas: I've always wanted to be a June Bride... and have a baby right off, in the spring maybe.

Dorcas: [upon seeing the Pontipee brothers arrive at the barn raising] Who are they? I don't recall ever seeing them before.

Liza: They're strangers to me.

Ruth: Seven of them.

Martha: And all as tall as church steeples.

Alice: It's Milly! Milly!

Dorcas: [hands her a jewelry box] Georgie, I got these for you.

Georgia: Dorcas, you shouldn't do this.

Dorcas: It's alright. I got the receipt.

Georgia: [surprised] Good for you.

Dorcas: Well, it's a start.

[Dorcas stuffs a chicken while Janet listens to the radio in the next room and Andrea practices upstairs. Janet turns off the radio and comes into the kitchen]

Janet Widdington: Doesn't sound good. I can't listen anymore.

Dorcas: Don't know how you can stand it. Sounds like a strangled cat.

Janet Widdington: I meant the news!

Dorcas: Oh, right.

Janet Widdington: Do we have any parsnips?

Dorcas: Bit early for parsnips. Plenty of spuds, though.

Janet Widdington: Well, we shall have to have extra spuds. Potatoes.

[Ursula sits by Andrea's bed, watching him sleep. Dorcas bursts in]

Dorcas: Tea.

Ursula Widdington: Shhh!

Dorcas: [she glances at Andrea, then says just as loudly,] Do you want tea?

Ursula Widdington: [whispering] Shh! You'll wake him up! I think I'll wait until Janet gets up from her nap.

Dorcas: Well, she's up.

Ursula Widdington: [still whispering] Is she? She hasn't been long. All right, I'll be down directly.

[she turns back to Andrea]

Dorcas: He isn't gonna run off.

[Ursula shoots her a look. Dorcas slams the door as she leaves, waking Andrea]

[Mr. Penruddocke arrives to play his violin for Andrea]

Dorcas: Wipe your feet.

[he does]

Dorcas: All right.

[she motions him inside]

Dorcas: Just a minute, lift them up.

[he lifts one and shows her the bottom of his shoe]

Dorcas: And the other one.

[he lifts the other]

Dorcas: All right.

[Dorcas comes into Andrea's room, carrying a sack of potatoes and two buckets]

Dorcas: I got a job for you...

[They sit, peeling the potatoes]

Dorcas: [indicating the two buckets] You put the peel in here, and the spuds in here. You have done this before, haven't you?

[Andrea looks bored. He purposely throws a peel into the spud bucket]

Dorcas: No!

[She fishes the peel out]

Dorcas: You put the peel in *here* and the *spuds* in here!

Andrea Marowski: "Spuds"?

Dorcas: Yes. Proper name's "potato," but we calls them "spuds".

[She holds up the potato she's been peeling]

Dorcas: Potato. Potato!

Andrea Marowski: Ah, "ziemniak".

Dorcas: What?

Andrea Marowski: [forcefully] "Ziemniak"!

Dorcas: Right.

Andrea Marowski: [speaks in Polish, subtitled] You look like a potato.

Dorcas: What?

Andrea Marowski: [speaks in Polish, subtitled] Actually, you look like a sack of potatoes.

Dorcas: It's no good, I can't understand a word you's saying.

[He shows her his potato, into which he has cut two eyes and a mouth]

Dorcas: And don't get artistic, just *peel* the blooming thing.