Donna Quotes in The Boondock Saints (1999)

Donna: You killed my... my...

Rocco: Your what?

Donna: My...

Rocco: Your fuckin' what? Huh? Your what, bitch?

Rocco: [puts gun to his own head] I'll shoot myself in the head, you can tell me that cat's name! Go ahead! Your what? Your precious, little...

Rayvie: Skippy! Skippy!

Rocco: Oh, Jesus! What color was it, bitch?

Rayvie: Don't you fucking yell at her like that you prick!

Rocco: [turns gun on Rayvie] Shut your fat ass, Rayvie! I can't buy a pack of smokes without runnin' into nine guys you fucked!

Rocco: I killed your cat, you druggie bitch.

Donna: God.

Rayvie: What?

Donna: Why?

Rocco: I thought it would bring closure to our relationship.

Donna: Wade... there's something I... I wanna tell you about last night. Well, the old lady... well, Chas, he didn't translate everything that she said.

Wade Parent: What do you mean?

Donna: Well, uh... she said... there was no driver in the car.

Donna: [parking airplane after escaping ambush by henchmen] Taryn, we need to figure out what just happened. Let's head along and hit the Jacuzzi. I do my best thinking there.

Taryn: Right. I'll get the dolly.

[after putting the plane on auto-pilot]

Donna: Shouldn't we get out of these wet clothes?

Donna: I have been pushed around my whole life by men, and I'm sick of it!

Mrs. Boyd: I'm going to LOVE to have you stay for bible study.

Donna: Oh, I have wings to make.

Mrs. Boyd: It's a pot-luck.

Donna: No, for my son. He's a fairy.

Mrs. Boyd: A fairy?

Donna: In a play.

Mrs. Boyd: Ohh...

[laughing]

Donna: Well, in real life, too.

Donna: Where are we?

Joe: It's a little inlet, on the back side of Coashov Island

Donna: Is that like up Shit Creek without a paddle?

Joe: Yeah, pretty much.

Joe: So, how did your stuff end up at his place?

Donna: Unforeseen circumstances.

Donna: Fisherman?

Joe: Yeah, I was.

Donna: Like it?

Joe: While it lasted, yes.

Donna: You didn't go on anymore?

Joe: Nope.

Donna: Why not?

Joe: Unforeseen circumstances.

Fred: Hey Donna, do you like cats?

Donna: Drippy little things, moving along, about a foot above the ground.

Fred: Above? You mean ON the ground?

Donna: Just dripping, behind furniture. Little spring flowers with blue in them might come up first.

Fred: Yeah...

Donna: What if someone stomps on them and they're all gone?

Fred: It's like you know me. You can read me.

Medical Officer #1: Don't worry, we can take care of this loser.

Donna: It's easy to win.

Donna: Hey you guys.

Donna: [screams when Luckman and Barris pull out their weapons at her] Fuck! Jesus!

[they lower their weapons]

Donna: What the fuck is wrong with you? I came in like the note said. It doesn't say when you were gonna get back, so I just, just sat around for a while, and ended up crashing.

Luckman: Love your sweater.

Donna: Just don't touch me! Man you guys were making so much noise. Woke me up.

Bobby Fischer: So what do you do, Donna?

Donna: I screw people.

Bobby Fischer: Ahhh me too... Listen, I was thinking of getting rid of my virginity.

Donna: Is that right.

Man chatting with Donna at 1:36:14: Spassky took his bishop!

Donna: I took his virginity.

Donna: Somebody up there has got it in for me. I bet it's my mother.

Sophie: I don't care if you slept with hundreds of men. You're my mom, and I love you so much.

Donna: [hugging her] Oh, Soph!

Donna: [to the congregation] And I haven't slept with *hundreds* of men.

Sky: You must be Tanya. I've heard so much about you.

Tanya: Oh. All bad, I hope.

Sky: Yes.

Donna: And all true!

Rosie: [to Donna, holding up Tanya's underwear] Does she wear it or floss with it?

Tanya: Floss you!

Donna: Is it edible Tanya?

Sam Carmichael: Am I getting this right? Sophie may be mine, but she may be Bill's or Harry's?

Donna: Yeah. Yes! That's right. And don't get all self-righteous with me, because you have no one but yourself to blame!

Sophie: Yeah, if you hadn't just dumped my mother and gone off and married somebody else...

Sam Carmichael: Hey, hey, wait a minute. I had to go home. I was engaged. But I told Lorraine I couldn't marry her and I came right back!

Donna: You... you... Why didn't you call me?

Sam Carmichael: Because I was crazy enough to think that you would be waiting for me. Only when I arrived, they told me you were off with some other guy. So... Lorraine called me an idiot and married me to prove it.

Donna: [at the wedding ceremony] And welcome to... to... Sophie's dad. I have to tell you, he is here.

Sophie: I know. I invited him.

Donna: You couldn't have. I don't know which one it is.

Donna: [about the possible dads] I don't know where they are, I don't know why they're here, and I have brought this all on myself because I was a stupid, reckless little slut!

Tanya: Whoa-ho-ho-ho! Don't you sound like your mother!

Donna: You sound like you're having fun already.

Lisa: Oh, we are.

Donna: [nostalgically] I used to have fun.

Ali: Oh, we *know*!

[Donna looks puzzled]

Donna: Why are you here? What are you doing here?

Bill: I'm writing a travel piece.

Harry Bright: I'm, I'm here on a spontaneous holiday.

Sam Carmichael: Er, I just dropped in to say... hi.

Donna: Okay, now, the thing about the toilet... If it doesn't flush right away, just go, and come back in a while, and it should... Nothing works around here, except for me.

Tanya: Whatever happened to our Donna? Life and soul of the party! El Rock Chick Supremo!

Donna: I grew up.

Tanya: Well, then, grow back down again!

Donna: [about the three "dads"] They have no right to turn up like this. What have they ever done for their daughter? Huh?

Rosie: Donna, Donna, they didn't know she existed.

Donna: Well, they didn't need to know, did they? I've done a great job with Soph all by myself, and I won't be muscled out by an e... jaculation!

Donna: I better be dreaming, you better not be here.

Bill: You want me to pinch you Donna?

Donna: I'm gonna arrange for a boat to take you all back to the mainland.

Bill: I have a boat, Donna.

Donna: You have a boat? Good, get on it. And, er, anchors aweigh!

Sam Carmichael: Hey...

Donna: Away aweigh!

Sam Carmichael: Donna...

Bill, Sam Carmichael, Harry Bright: [together] It's good to see you!

Rosie: [talking about Sophie] She's a chip off the old block!

Donna: If she were more like *me*, she wouldn't be getting married at 20.

Tanya: Or married at all!

Donna: Sky! Come meet my backup girls.

Rosie, Tanya: Backup girls, my arse!

Sam Carmichael: I see you kept my bagpipes.

Donna: They're supposed to ward off unwanted visitors.

Sam Carmichael: Oh, you don't need bagpipes to do that.

Sophie: Do you think I'm letting you down?

Donna: Why would you even think that?

Sophie: Oh, because... of what you've done. I mean, the Dynamos, raising a kid... and running a business, all on your own.

Donna: Well, honey - I didn't have a choice. I couldn't go home. You know? When I got pregnant, my mother told me not to bother coming back. And I wouldn't have had it any other way. My God, look at what *we've* had.

Tanya: [when a crack appears in the courtyard] What's going on?

Donna: [laughs] D'you feel it? The earth moved, darling. We're falling apart here.

[she snatches the bottle of champagne from Tanya's hands and walks off]

Donna: Don't think about it. Come on. Let's go have fun.

Tanya: [talking about Donna's money troubles and her life in general] Yeah, but are you being taken care of?

Donna: What do you mean?

Tanya: Are you getting any?

Donna: Oh, you mean...

[turns on the drill, making loud noises]

Donna: [to the drill] Down, boy. Down, boy! No, it takes too much energy.

Rosie: Yeah, just more plumbing to be maintained, isn't it?

Donna: Ohh, look at my baby, her whole life ahead of her!

Sophie: Oh *please*, I'm getting married, I'm not joining a convent!

Donna: I'm sorry Gerry.

[after the dealer dealt a queen on the river, giving her a better full house than Gerry, winning all Gerry's money]

Donna: Hey girls. I just wanted to take a moment before we head to the sectional tomorrow morning. I know you're nervous, I am too. But... just remember we're a team. That's not something anyone can't take away from us. Now I've never been part of a team before and at my age it wasn't something I was expecting to ever happen. So, I wanna thank you for giving that to me. My whole life I felt apart from other people. I don't feel apart from you girls. And no matter what happens tomorrow I'll always be proud of you.

Candace Washington: What you gonna do? Beat me with your Bible every five minutes like my Grandma did?

Tanya: First of all I don't know your Grandma, and second of all I don't carry a Bible, it's at home on my mantel.

Donna: Don't need to carry it when you know every word of it.

Tanya: You should know it.

Donna: Just don't ask me to say it to you, Stanny, 'cause I can't.

Stanny: That's okay. Just let me love you.

Donna: Ok. You caught me. I mean, men are not the only ones who like to whack off like zoo monkeys. Why isn't it okay for girls to just like fucking? If you could have sex, once a week, no attachments, no expectations, just straight up fucking, would you?

Donna: Is there any species that just has one gender... that doesn't have male-female?

Roger: Starfish for one.

Donovan: Next time I see a starfish, I'm gonna tell him to go fuck himself.

Donna: Do you wanna fuck me or anything before I go to sleep?

Donna: How you been?

Eddie: I'm a wreck.

Donna: You look a wreck, actually, but I didn't want to be rude and

Eddie: I don't know what I'm doing. You know what I mean?

Donna: You're in the pool.

Eddie: Yeah. I don't know when was the last time I thought of you,

Donna: I'm a surprise is all.

Dek: You've never been in a serious car wreck.

Donna: Neither have you.

Dek: I had a car door this close, this close to my eye. It was a near death experience.

Donna: Widow! That's like catnip.

Jennifer Nelson: Well, not for that cat!

Donna: Heya, I'm Donna with two N's.

Suki Smith: Hello, I'm appalled - with two P's.

Donna: I don't know. You know, sometimes he does things like last night and I just want to fucking kill him. And then I see him.

Maître d': We often color the potatoes to match the colors of the wedding.

Donna: Oh, yeah?

Maître d': But with rainbow, you can go with anything. Might I suggest a pale blue?

Michael: Wait a minute, wait a minute - did you say blue mashed potatoes?

Maître d': Yes.

Michael: No, we're not having blue mashed potatoes at this wedding.

Donna: What kind of blue?

Maître d': Sort of a sky blue.

Michael: Get out of here! I'm not eating blue food.

Donna: Do you think that if you were falling in space... that you would slow down after a while, or go faster and faster?

Laura: Faster and faster. And for a long time you wouldn't feel anything. And then you'd burst into fire. Forever... And the angel's wouldn't help you. Because they've all gone away.

Donna: [to Laura] If I had a nickel for every cigarette your mom smoked, I'd be dead.

Donna: Where are the cookies?

Laura: You mean Fred and Ginger?

Donna: Dancing.

Donna: Where are you going, Laura?

Laura: Nowhere... fast. And you're not coming.

[Slade knew her face cleanser, by scent]

Donna: Ah, that's amazing.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Well, I'm in the amazing business.

Jason: Swear on your mom's grave!

Donna: She ain't dead yet!

Donna: Look, guys screw up - that's what they do. It's in their manual, right under "Love your grill; leave socks on floor."

Abby: Being with him is like making a choice.

Donna: You don't have that choice, Abby. You have other choices.

Abby: It just can't be him - that's all.

Donna: Ok, then fine. But whether it's Buddy or someone else a year from now, whoever you choose will be there because Greg is not. That's just how it is.

Abby: [to Donna and they are looking at Buddy through the window] Ummm okay, you know how some guys do that half rise thing when you come to the table...

Donna: [smiling knowingly] uh-hunh...

Abby: ...well he does that. I love that!

Donna: But if you can't forgive him, you can't.

Abby: It's not that I can't forgive him. Do you know how I spent the night after he left? Trying to figure out if I was glad, that he didn't get on that plane. If I say I'm glad he's alive, I'm glad he found me that day, or if I lie, and I say I'm not, either way it feels like I'm doing something wrong to someone I... To both of them, to him and Greg. Being with him is like making a choice.

Donna: If I had the money for a bus ticket I'd leave right now.

Jeff: So what are you doing sitting here by yourself.

Donna: People suck out loud, I hate people.

Jeff: Yeah, especially when there's a lot of them.

Donna: I hate them individually, too.

Jeff: Hate's a strong word. I don't want to hate anybody.

Jeff: Human life is nothing but a bad joke, a violent abortion of the primal mother, a hopeless and barbaric catastrophe of nature.

Donna: Dude, snap out of it, you're being antisocial.

Donna: [to Christabel] I can just hear you, being so helpful - and so helpless. Helping to mess up people's lives for your own selfish purposes. And just about as "helpless" as a wildcat. Somebody should have told the birds and bees about *you*!

Donna: [seeing prom] You gotta hand it to Crissy, though. This is amazing!

Claire: Does this mean we can't make fun of her anymore?

Ronnie Heflin: I want to make a toast. To my little queen... No matter what happens. Cheer?

Bobby: Cheers.

[as they all toast]

Lisa: [turns to look at Crissy and then back] If that bitch wins... I'll hurl!

Donna: Ok, I'm sorry. Would you just explain to me, why do you care? What do you get? A bouquet of roses and a tacky tiara you can only wear to proms?

Lisa: It's not about what you get. It's like, it's about the honor, you know. It's about the respect of my peers.

Bobby: [laughing with everyone] Are you serious?

Donna: That's the geekiest thing you've ever said.

Lisa: [beat] Ok, 'guess it was a little geeky. But seriously. I just want Crissy to know that she can't buy everything and think about the reunions to come. I win, it'll eat away at her until the day she dies.

Richard Fenton: [closing the door, to Donna] Oh, I've missed you.

Donna: [crying and shaking] No!

Richard Fenton: There isn't a moment where I haven't thought about you, Donna.

Donna: [crying and shaking] Please don't do this. Please!

Ms. Waters: Lisa! Wow! That is so...

Crissy Lynn: [off screen] Inappropriate.

Lisa: Crissy! Wow, your dress is so simple. It's so you.

Donna: [walking up the steps] Crissy, come one. This is prom, Let's just all be nice and forget the past.

Crissy Lynn: [walks down a few steps, to Lisa] As fellow prom queen nominee, I want to wish you luck tonight. You're gonna need all you can get.

Lisa: [intimidated] You think you got it all wrapped up, do you?

Crissy Lynn: [snearing] Well, they're certainly not propped up and on parade like yours are. That's for sure.

Donna: [leaving the dance floor] You really out did yourself, Crissy.

Crissy Lynn: Thanks! I wanted it to look just like an L.A. club.

[turning to Lisa]

Crissy Lynn: I mean, nobody could believe it. Right?

Businessman #1: [in the elevator] So, which one of you lovely ladies is my date tonight?

Businessman #2: [as the girls are laughing] So, we're gonna take this party upstairs ladies. Room 604.

Lisa: Yeah. We'll be right up.

Donna: [still laughing] Lisa!

Lisa: What color is your dress?

Donna: It's a champagne color. Then it's a little sexy.

Donna: Haven't you ever done Assertiveness Training? Before I looked into the Doc, I did it all - EST, T.M., Scientology, iridology, Primal Scream... I don't know, I figure another five years of real hard work, and maybe I'll be a real human being.

Donna: Did you hear that sick sound?

Cozzie: Yeah, it was creepy. Probably your mom howling out her anti-sex warning.

Donna: I'm supposed to dance for this picture - not die for it!

Dylan Kershaw: It's kind of my own concept. Barbecue on the fourth of July.

Donna: Lots of people do that.

Donna: [Emmanuelle's first time with her psychiatrist] Stay calm. You must rest. You are still frail.

Emmanuelle IV: I have only one wish, Dona: My freedom.

Donna: But you may do as you wish.

Emmanuelle IV: And what if I decide to?

Donna: Decide to do what?

Emmanuelle IV: To make love to all of Brazil.

[Emmanuelle strips off]

Emmanuelle IV: So I offend you.

Donna: No, you don't offend me.

Donna: I'm here to listen and help, not to judge you.

Emmanuelle IV: If you find me pretty, tell me. I need it, you know.

Donna: Yes, objectively, you're pretty.

Emmanuelle IV: What does that mean? Do you never get involved? Instead of answering, you avoid it every time.

Donna: That's not my business. I'm not here to talk about myself.

Emmanuelle IV: We have the same age. Answer me, do you find me pretty?

Donna: We'll have to go now, come. I'll take care of your luggage.

Emmanuelle IV: My luggage? It's my past.

[both run]

Donna: Professor, l ask myself if you are a great surgeon or a poet.

Donna: Do you love this Merrick dude? Cause if he doesn't love you, he's fucked.

Donna: Troy, you gotta get out of here.

Troy: Well, I'm moving to Toronto.

Donna: Oh. You know you take yourself with you.

Troy: Yeah, I don't wanna take myself.

Troy: Why'd you stay with me?

Donna: Troy, I dug you. You know, I remember the exact date, time, and TV show when I discovered that you weren't into me... I caught you. I watched you in your rec room stroking yourself to a male undergear catalog. A crusty, stuck together male undergear catalog. And I was your girlfriend.

[making conversation around a campfire]

Donna: So, how's your weiner?

Donna: Come on, talk to your Auntie Donna.

Marco: Dear Auntie Donna, my boyfriend just shagged some tart he doesn't even care about, and now that tart, slash so-called friend, thinks I should have a sense of humor about it. Should I take out a contract or break her legs myself.

Donna: You're gay!

Fitz: I could be... for the right girl.