Don Diego Quotes in Zorro: The Gay Blade (1981)

Don Diego: [teasing Charlotte Taylor Wilson] Do you think you are helping the pipple by telling them they have an occent when they do not have an occent?

[after spraining his ankle]

Don Diego: My father would be very disappointed in me. To have come all this way and miss my destiny by... a foot.

Florinda: Why didn't I marry you instead of Esteban?

Don Diego: Probably because he asked you and I did not.

Charlotte Taylor Wilson: I'm Charlotte Taylor Wilson. I'm with the People's Independence Committee.

Don Diego: Don Diego Vega. I'm with the greedy bloodsuckers.

Charlotte Taylor Wilson: You don't really believe the people are happy!

Don Diego: All I know is the soldiers are quite happy shooting the people who say the people are not happy.

Don Diego: He is a mute.

Esteban: Bueno! Perhaps he can give lessons to my wife.

Esteban: Say something like a sissy girl.

Don Diego: Something like a sissy girl...

Esteban: No... you know. Swing... your... hips.

[puts hands on hips]

Esteban: Make them sway and flap your wings.

Don Diego: Los Angeles, California. The birthplace of... me.

Florinda: [regarding Esteban] Do you know he only makes love to me 12 times a year?

Don Diego: Well, once a month is not so bad.

Florinda: No, he makes love to me 12 times in one night and then, zip, nothing!

Don Diego: Tell me, on that one night, does he eat anything special? Oysters? Raw eggs?

Florinda: Garlic. A lot of garlic.

[the landowners meet to elect a new Alcade. Each introduces himself to the others,]

Don Diego: Don Diego from San Fernando.

Don Francisco: Don Francisco from San Jose.

Don Fernando from San Diego: Don Fernando from San Diego.

Don Jose: Don Jose from San Bernardino.

Luis Obispo: Luis Obispo from Bakersfield.

[Diego is about to be shot]

Charlotte Taylor Wilson: You're the bravest man I've ever met.

Don Diego: I'm very impressed with myself, too.

Don Diego: What I would give to have one night in your bootsies.

Ramon Vega: In my Bootsies?

Don Diego: Bravo, my brother. You've really proven yourself tonight. Is there anything I can do to make you change your mind about staying?

Bunny Wigglesworth: I'm afraid not. In two days from now, my ship sails for England. But tell Esteban that if he wants to keep in touch with me, tell him to write to 'Wiggy' of the Royal Navy based in Portsmouth. But only if he's serious.

Ramon Vega: I say, I'd like my little soldier doll, again.

Don Diego: You'd like what?

Ramon Vega: Oh, come come, you remember the doll perfectly well. Blue button eyes, tall hat? We called him, Colonel Puh-Pah.

Don Diego: Colonel Puh-Pah? I know you?

Ramon Vega: Know me? Sink me! We we're once womb-mates.

Don Diego: Womb-mates? Ramon? Ramon! Ramon, my brother's back! Ramon, I can't believe it. Ramon!

Ramon Vega: Yes, I'd rather liked that, womb-mates. Yes yes, ha ha ha ha ha.

Don Diego: After twenty years, I can't believe it! Ramon!

Ramon Vega: Well, I was Ramon, twenty years ago, when father decided it wasn't quite masculine enough, so he shipped me off to sea in a British frigate. They say the navy makes men. Well, I'm living proof they made me.

Don Diego: Here, Paco, take the horse from my brother, pronto. You says you were Ramon? You no longer Ramon Viega, Ramon?

Ramon Vega: No no, I've dishanded that Latin tradition. I'm Bunny Wigglesworth, now.

Don Diego: I can't believe it, my brother's just so different.

Ramon Vega: Yeah, well your still the same, aren't you? Still tan, bland, and, uh?

Don Diego: Romantic, huh?

Ramon Vega: No no, I was about to say, randy. How did you hurt your foot then? Falling off a tavern maid?

Don Diego: No, I broke it fighting against tyrannies and injustices, and for the trodden down peoples, and the little babies, and the...

Ramon Vega: Well, I'm sure it's all quite an amusing little story, but I ought to freshen up and say 'Hi-ho' to the Old Gent! Tell me, is he still as loud as ever?

Don Diego: No, the last month he's been very... quiet...

Don Diego: Strip away all the linen and lace, and the only difference between a queen and a whore is time and place.

Don Diego: You have one bad habit.

Nina Maria Azara: Oh, yes? What?

Don Diego: You're always saying good-bye.

Nina Maria Azara: Very well then, I won't say good-bye. I'll just go!

Don Diego: There's one thing that always amazes me about you. You are the madam of a bordello house, yet you speak like the Mother Superior of a convent. But why not! All your men confess to you.