Don Quotes in Trespass (1992)

Don: Now wait a minute, old man, you know a way out of here we split the gold three ways!

Bradlee: That's not what you said a minute ago!

Don: A minute ago we was all dead!

Don: I don't know what this stuff is anymore. Our gold. God's gold. Fool's gold.

Don: Mere dushman samajh rahe the main... ab kabhi laut ke na aaonga... Ek ghoom nami ka samunder hai, usi mein ja ke doob jaonga! Abhi baki meri kahani hai... saari duniya ko jo sunani hai... Mujhe pehchano... dekho main hoon kaun... Aa raha hoon palat ke, main hoon Don! Ab mujhe koi nahi rok sakta

Don: Sir? Sir bahut shareef sa lagta hai. Call me Don.

Don: Don ko pakadna mushkil hi nahi, namumkin hai.

Don: Mujhe andhera pasand hai, tumhare aane wale kal ki yaad dilata hain.

Don: Don ke dushman ko hamesha yeh baat yaad rakhni chahiye, ke Don kabhi kuch nahi bhulta.

Don: Mujhe logon ka khoon karne ka koi shauq nahi, wohi mujhe majbur kar dete hai.

Don: Don apne doston ko haal puche ya na puche, apne dushmano ki khabar hamesha rakhta hain.

Don: Maine socha ke jate jate kuch acha kaam karta jao, magar tum logon ne mujhe badal ne ka moka nahi diya... very sad.

Don: Taqt Ki Parwah, Baadshah se zyada, Uski Wazeer ko hoti hain.

Don: Kisne kaha ke chamatkar nahi hote, zaara mujhe kareeb se dekho.

Don: Don ko pakad na mushkil hi nahi, you know it.

Don: Koi sabut nahi. Koi gunehgar nahi.

Don: Don ke samne aadmi ke pass sirf do raaste hote hain, mann jaye ya mar jaye, jaisi uski marzi.

Don: Takat ek nasha hai, aur main uss nasha banane wali factory ka ek lauta malik hoon.

Don: Don ke dushman, Don ke haaton mar ne ke liye hi paida hote hai.

Don: Humhare dhandhe mein jab dusro ko tumhare zindagi se zyada tumhare moth se fayda ho, toh yeh samajh lena chahiye ke it's time to move on.

Don: Kutta agar doom sidhi bhi karle toh woh kutta hi rahe ga.

Don: Roma, Roma, meri junglee billi, kab tak mera peecha karti raho gi?

Don: Don aadmi ka naam bhool sakta hai, lekin yeh nahin bhulega ki usse dafnaya kaha tha.

Don: I should've listened to what mother used to say...

other: What did your mother say?

Don: When I didn't listen to what she said, how can I tell you?

Don: Don's enemy's biggest mistake is that he's Don's enemy.

[from trailer]

Don: I am a wanted man across the world, but you must understand one simple fact... it is not difficult to catch Don, it is impossible!

TJ: I've always liked you Don.

Don: Me too TJ. I've also always... liked me.

[from trailer]

Don: I am the king!

[from trailer]

Don: [singing] Money... my obsession! / Wealth... my addiction! / Fear... my weapon!

[laughs]

Don: Crazy people, / don't you understand / from the smokes of fear / who I am?

Don: People don't leave Don but the world instead...

Don: [while playing golf, Don kills a man by swinging a golf ball into his cranium]

Don: Now THAT was a good shot!

Don: I dislike two types of girls: One, which take too much of time to come to me, and two, which come to me too early.

Don: I like Wild Cats

Don: I am a wanted man by the police, but you must understand one simple fact... it is not difficult to catch Don, it is impossible!

Don: I know that this revolver is empty, you know that this revolver is empty, but the police doesn't know that this revolver is empty.

Mike Wazowski: Um, h... hello? Fella

[as he and Sully walk down the basement into a candlelit are, where O.K fraternity surround it, wearing black clocks]

Don: Do you, pledge your souls to the Oozma Kappa brotherhood.

Mike Wazowski: [Terri and Terry hit Mike with a cricket bat] OW!

Terry: Do you swear to keep secret.

Terri: All that you learn

Art: No matter, how horrifying.

Sulley: [Squishy hit Sulley with cricket bat] Hey!

Squishy: Will take the scared oath of the...

[initiation interrupted by someone, turning on the lights]

Don: For crying out loud.

Ms. Squibbles: Sweetie, turn the lights on when your down here. You're going ruin your eyes.

Squishy: MOM, WE'RE DOING AN INITIATION!

Ms. Squibbles: Oh Scary, well go on. Just pretend that I'm not here

[turns off half the lights, and walk downstairs to the washing machine]

Squishy: This is my mom's house. Do you promise to look out for your brothers?

[Mrs. Squibbles turns on the laundry dial loudly]

Squishy: No what the peril?

[Laundry machine runs noisily]

Squishy: ... WILL YOU DEFEND OOZMA KAPPA? NO MATTER HOW DANGEROUS?NO MATTER HOW INSURMOUNTABLE? THE ODDS MAYBE? FROM EVILS BOTH GREAT AND SMALL? IN THE FACE OF UNENDING PAIN AND... OH FORGET IT. You're in.

Don: Want to join Oozma Kappa?

Squishy: We've got cake!

[a Big Monster walks by and eats the cake, every slice]

Don: Sherri and I are engaged.

Mike Wazowski: Who's Sherri?

Squishy: [Embarrased] She's my Mom.

Don: Don't worry Scott. I don't want you to think of me as your new dad. After all, we're fraternity brothers first.

Squishy: This is so weird.

Don: Just think of me as your big brother that's marrying your mother. Wait, hold on, we're brothers who share the same mom slash wife.

[Dean Hardscrabble has turned off the door to the Human World that Mike and Sulley went into, before they could even get back out]

Don: They're still in there.

Dean Hardscrabble: Until the CDA arrives, this door stays off.

Squishy: *No*! You can't do this.

[he and the others begin to walk over, only to be held back]

Dean Hardscrabble: [Raising her wings] ENOUGH! I WANT THIS ROOM CLEARED NOW!

[Everyone begins to back away out of the room slowly]

Don: [to Reggie from the RORs during the Final Challenge of the Scare Games] Thanks for taking it Easy on Grandpa!

[as Mike and Sulley exit their Oozma Kappa Bedroom at the same time after waking up, they fall over, and Squishy suddenly snaps a photo of them]

Squishy: First morning in the house.

Art: That's going in the Album.

Don: [Arriving with a Scare Games Letter] Guys, it's arrived, our first challenge.

[Mike struggles to pull it off him]

Don: Sorry, Tentacles. Kinda Sticky.

[Mike reads the envelope]

Mike Wazowski: Wait a minute. They want us to meet where?

[Sulley rushes to the Door Making Lab, where Dean Hardscrabble is with some Campus Security Guards]

Dean Hardscrabble: No-one is to go near this door until the Child Detection Agency has arrived.

Squishy: [Sulley gets approached by the Rest of his Team] James wait, we can help.

Sulley: Look, it's my fault Mike got into this, so it's up to me to get him out of it.

Don: Allow me.

[Walks up to to Dean Hardscrabble and the Security Guards]

Don: Hi there. Don Carlton, Sales Person. This is my Business Card.

Dean Hardscrabble: Arrest him.

[the Security Guards press Don up against the wall, allowing the coast to be clear for Sulley to get to the door]

MU Security Guard: [to Don] Up against the wall *Pops*.

Dean Hardscrabble: [Noticing Sulley] Sullivan, don't you dare.

[desperate, Sully enters the door that Mike went through into the Human World]

Don: It sure is chilly. Chilly-chilly-willy... the penguin.

Don: [Rowf and Snitter chase some sheep, hoping the shepherd will adopt them. The sheepdogs confront them] What the hell thee art playin' at? Art thou stark bloody mad, or what?

Snitter: We just need a master!

Don: Just need a master? Of all the... Art thou out of thy minds? chasing yows up and down fell, snapping and biting? Where's thy farm at? Where's thy master? Thou's bit yon yow, too, thou bastard! It's bleeding!

Rowf: Lay off! You don't own this place!

Don: Don't own it? Then I'd like to know who bloody does! Hey, Wag! It says we don't own this here fell!

Wag: Bloody cheek! What do you reckon they're up to then?

Rowf: What are *you* up to, then?

Don: Gatherin', you daft sod! Seeking wooled sheep, of course! And then thee comes down like bloody bulls and spoil half an hour's good work!

Wag: Ah, they be tourists! Thee, with yon patch on the head. Where's thy master at?

[Snitter doesn't answer him]

Wag: Has he been hurt, and thee run away?

Snitter: We haven't a master. We thought... maybe your master...

Don: He'll fill thee with leads he will. Worrying sheep!

Snitter: We were only doing the same as you!

Williamson: [Don and Wag's master appears] Don! Come-by here! Yer Wag! Come-by here!

Rowf: We'd better get out of here.

Snitter: They belonged where they were. You could smell it. No Whitecoat does anything to them. But what are *we* going to do, Rowf?

Don: Well let me tell you a little story boy. A long time ago their was a tribe of Indians up here in these woods. They were all laying down in these parts... or something I can't remember. Any way these herd of grizzlies smelt them out. They came in an they ate them. They thorn them all up. Little children, sick ones everybody! Their were few braves to go out on the hunt. They came back and them grizzlies turned on them! So their you got yourself a little situation. A whole herd of man-eating grizzlies. Just running around tearing up them Indians!

Arthur Scott: That's kind of hard to believe Don.

Don: Unless of course you happen to be one of them Indians!

Don: Let's give that son-of-a-bitch a run for his money!

Don: You're chasin' somethin' about the size of a D8 cat with teeth.

Pickford: Don, give the beer back, man!

Don: I paid for the beer, man.

Pink: Don, have you ever thought about why we play football? How many times have you gotten laid strictly because you're a football player?

Don: I don't know. A few, I guess.

Pink: A few? Don, all I'm saying is, I bet we could do just as well if we were in a band or something.

Don: I'll fold.

Phil: Fold? Is that the only word you learnt at school?

Don: No, I also learned the word cunt!

Don: Apparently it's for security.

[Explaining the boxing arena]

Don: Hey, Napoleon. What did you do last summer again?

Napoleon Dynamite: I told you! I spent it with my uncle in Alaska hunting wolverines!

Don: Did you shoot any?

Napoleon Dynamite: Yes, like 50 of 'em! They kept trying to attack my cousins, what the heck would you do in a situation like that?

Don: What kind of gun did you use?

Napoleon Dynamite: A freakin' 12-gauge, what do you think?

Don: Vote for Summer.

Napoleon Dynamite: Yeah, right, I'm not voting for her.

Don: Then who you gonna vote for?

Napoleon Dynamite: I'm voting for Pedro Sanchez, who do you think?

[Don scoffs and walks away]

Napoleon Dynamite: Hey, Don. Can I have one of those buttons?

[Don hands Napoleon a Vote 4 Summer button]

Napoleon Dynamite: [Napoleon tosses it across the hall, stares at Don, and runs away]

Don: [as lola insults the shoes] You'd look nice in 'em love.

Lola: [walks up to him slowly, sits on his knee, looks seductively into his eyes] If you can't get women to wear them...

Lola: [adopts a much deeper masculine voice] ... then you'll never get a bloke like me to where 'em.

Lola: Northampton

Charlie Price: Northampton

Milan Organiser: Northampton, Northampton, Northampton

Harold Price: Northhhhhampton

Don: Kentucky?

George Webber: If you were dancing with your wife, or girlfriend you knew in high school, and you said to her, Darling, they're playing our song, do you know what they'd be playing?

Don: What?

George Webber: Why Don't We Do It In The Road. Fuckin' hell kind of era is that?

Telephone Operator: [on the telephone to Don in the lounge] Mr. Webber, please.

Don: [aside to George] Are you in?

George Webber: No, no.

Don: [on the phone to the operator] Listen, kid, until otherwise instructed, Mr. Webber will be incomunnicado.

Telephone Operator: Don, where is that?

Don: About twenty miles due east, make a left turn.

Telephone Operator: OK, thank you Don.

George Webber: By what name are you known, sir?

Don: Donald. Don, to my friends and paying customers.

George Webber: In that case, I'll have another double Don. Double Don, God, that's going to be difficult to say by the shank of the evening. Better make that one a single.

Don: You play C, F and G?

Jon Burroughs: Yeah.

Don: You're in.

buyer: I tell you what, I'll give you 1,500 for everything.

Don: 1,500? Come on, man. This stuff holds a lot of sentimental value.

buyer: To who?

Don: To the poeple I stole it from.

buyer: I don't care about them. 1,500.

Don: [in an thick Philipino accent] How you guys doing? I'm Don. Don, rhyme with flon. You have any question?

Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: Yes, Yes indeed Don we do. Is this a good machine?

Don: Yeah it is good if you cheap bastard. No jus... jus doing comedy with you. That one is okay. But if you are serious about Kar'-oke.

Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: Oh we are!

Don: Okay then... there is only one model for you. The AUDIO 2000. This baby got the 16-bit dual D/A converter, 3 beam checking, digital key controller, so you can change the pitch if your voice sucks. But I don't need that.

Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: That's nice. How much?

Don: Price is not important

Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: No price is very important, actually.

Don: Okay you got me; take me away. Okay it's a lil' bit expensive. But let me tell you, it's worth it. When you sing to your girlfriend.

Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: Uh huh.

Don: And her heart thweaaaatt-boom! fall down on the floor, you say thank you Don.

Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: How much does it cost, exactly?

Don: [Motions them over and begins to talk quietly in an American accent] Alright, here's the real deal. Um, I don't usually do this but you guys look like cool guys, and uh, I got a little piece of ass last night, so I am feeling extra generous.

Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: Oh!

Don: I'm gonna let you guys have it for $1,300.

Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: $1,300?

Don: Final offer.

Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: uh, excuse me, I just got a little warm.

[unzips jacket to reveal priest's collar]

Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: My friend, he gets, he gets a little warm.

Don: [Sees priest's collar] Oh man! What is that? What is... get out of here with that. Is that real?

Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: Oh yeah!

George, Don, Rex: Kick his ass Ben, Kick his ass Ben!

Patty Winston: Shut up!

George, Don, Rex: Kick her ass then, Kick her ass then!

Don: I've never seen so many trying to cover so much with so little.

Peggy: So, Layla says you don't want to get a dog - doesn't fit into your lifestyle.

Don: I'm never home.

Peggy: Well, I think you should get a dog.

Don: Yeah?

Peggy: Yeah. It teaches responsibility.

Don: Well, maybe I don't want to be responsible.

Peggy: Might keep you out of trouble.

Don: Yeah, how's that?

Peggy: I don't know. You're getting married... you could... you know, like go home and walk the dog instead of, I don't know... going to the mall and meeting other women - at Victoria's Secret, say?

Don: [very fast] You know I wouldn't be surprised / That gasket hood looks pulverized / The shock recoil is now reversed / At first you'd boil and then you'd burst / Compression seep will soon distend / The leak that leaks in your big end / The lousy coke has got a hitch around the choke adjustment switch / Your piston spout is dynamite / In cutting out the parking light / And, from its shake, your outside brake is needing a new drum!

Don, Cyril, Steve, Edwin: [slower] In fact make no mistake, you've really had it chum!

Don, Cyril, Steve, Edwin: [singing] For as guys we're really qualified / There's no need to look terrified / For when you have tried, you will say "wide-eyed", we are just what the doctor specified / We are pleading please let us take you for a ride with us! / Ride with us!

[short music break in which the car backfires leaving everyone with black faces]

Don, Cyril, Steve, Edwin: Please let us take you for a ride!

Fred P. Chaney: Do you want a hamburger?

Don: No. Do you want a people-burger?

Scientist: I've invented a pill that gives worms to ex-girlfriends.

Don: Uh, right, and what's positive about that?

Scientist: Well, it's a pill that gives worms to ex-girlfriends.

Don: Couldn't it also give worms to ex-boyfriends?

Scientist: This is a drug... for the world... to give worms to ex-girlfriends.

Don: Well, great. Thanks for stopping by.

Scientist: You just don't get it here! Huhoooo!

Don: Shut up, cunt. You louse. You got some fuckin' neck ain't you. Retired? Fuck off, you're revolting. Look at your suntan, it's leather, it's like leather man, your skin. We could make a fucking suitcase out of you. Like a crocodile, fat crocodile, fat bastard. You look like fucking Idi Amin, you know what I mean? Stay here? You should be ashamed of yourself. Who do you think you are? King of the castle? Cock of the walk?

[He gut-punches Gal]

Don: What you think this is the wheel of fortune? You think you can make your dough and fuck off? Leave the table? Thanks Don, see you Don, off to sunny Spain now Don, fuck off Don. Lying in your pool like a fat blob laughing at me, you think I'm gonna have that? You really think I'm gonna have that, ya ponce. All right, I'll make it easy for you. God knows you're fucking trying. Are you gonna do the job? It's not a difficult question, are you gonna do the job, yes or no?

Don: You're the problem! You're the fucking problem you fucking Dr White honkin' jam-rag fucking spunk-bubble! I'm telling you Aitch you keep looking at me I'll put you in the fucking ground, promise you!

Gal: No!

Don: Yes!

Gal: No!

Don: Yes!

Gal: No!

Don: Fat cunt!

Gal: No, No, No!

Don: Yes, Yes, Yes!

Don: But quite frankly your attitude appalls me. It's not what you're saying. It's all this stuff you're not saying. Insinnuendos.

Don: Yeah, that's what I said. There's me putting my bag up in the cupboard next thing ya know, I feel hands on me. Someone's touched me, touched my front... my front bottom. I can't believe it, I've gone all cold. I look around, he standing there isn't he? That steward with the guilty look on his face. I was shocked, I didn't know what to say. I had to sit down, I was that perturbed. Then his mate, the other one who was giving us all lessons on what we do if we land in the sea. How to wear your life jacket etc; He starts off, he starts looking at my all funny... suggestive. Now I don't know if they're wanting me for a twosome or something, I don't know how they work it. But I'll tell you what, it scared me. I was shaking like a leaf, so without thinking I lit up a cigarette to calm me nerves. I was trembling, I was very emotional and that when all the rest of it happened. It's very regrettable. Now, I don't want to kick up a fuss, right, press charges... contact the British embassy. I'd rather not pursue those chanells, that's not my style. I'm not that sort of a bloke. I don't want to lose the man his job. Man's got to eat. And I'm sure he's not representive of all you Spanish people. But I would appreciate it if you had a word with him, let him know he's been rumbled. The one with the ginger hair.

Don: Talk to me, Gal. I'm here for you. I'm a good listener.

Gal: What can I say, Don? I've said it all. I'm retired.

Don: Shut up.

Don: [Being beaten to death] Cunt! Cunt! You murdering twat!

Don: I gotta change my shirt, it's sticking to me. I'm sweating like a cunt.

Don: You got very nice eyes, DeeDee. Never noticed them before. They real?

Don: [Barely alive] I fucked Jackie. Fucked her. Ask her, she'll tell you. I fucked her.

Aitch: Yeah, well I've fucked you now, haven't I?

[crushes Don's head with a rock]

Gal: I'd be useless.

Don: Useless?

Gal: I would be.

Don: In what way?

Gal: In every fucking way.

Don: Why are you swearing? I'm not swearing.

Gal: I am going to have to turn this opportunity down.

Don: No, you are going to have to turn this opportunity yes!

Don: Not this time, Gal. Not this time. Not this fucking time. No. No no no no no no no no no! No! No no no no no no no no no no no no no! No! Not this fucking time! No fucking way! No fucking way, no fucking way, no fucking way! You've made me look a right cunt!

Gal: This is madness, I've had enough of this "Crime and Punishment" bollocks. I'm happy here.

Don: I won't let you be happy, why should I?

Don: You're on two per cent, two and a half, maybe even three. Depends on the usual bumflufferies. It's not about the money with you and me is it, Gal? It's the charge, it's the bolt, it's the buzz, it's the sheer fuck off-ness of it all. Am I right?

Don: I fucked Jackie. Dirty cow. During what we were doing, she tried to stick her finger up my bum. I nearly hit the roof, you can imagine. I mean, what have you got to think of a woman who'd want to do that?

Don: Yes, yes, yes, yes!

Don: I love you, Gal. You're lovable. Big lovable bloke. Loveable lump. Loveable lummox. Gal Dove, party boy. Big oaf.

Don: You ever worked in an office?

Jackie: No.

Don: Nice telephone voice. I've worked in an office. I was 17. Does that surprise you?

Deedee Dove: What, that you were 17?

Don: [slow malevolent head turn] You got very nice eye, DeeDee. Never noticed them before. They real?

Don: Why the interview?

Kenny: I mean, have you killed anybody? I know you probably have some cool-ass stories and shit.

Don: Ok, why don't you tell Connie Chung to sit back and keep quiet.

[unknown to the writer/director, Bobby Lee does a Connie Chung impersonation on MadTV]

Don: Well, what happened to her?

Sears James: Well, that's obvious, isn't it?

Ricky Hawthorne: We killed her.

Don: You're dead!

Eva: And you will be, too. Dead and wet and cold.

Don: Dope-smokin' man-kissin' Max. Hey, tambourine man, the 60s are over.

Max Carlyle: You know what, Don? Fuck you.

Don: You're a fascinating wench, Jerry!

Jerry Bernard Martin: Oh, how do you do, Mrs. Meredith?

Helen Baldwin: Just a floating grass widow.

Don: Floats them and gets them.

Jerry Bernard Martin: Ted and I are going to be married and stay married. Aren't we - darling.

Theodore 'Ted' Martin: Yes, we're going to stay married.

Don: How unpatriotic. A man should be willing to lay down more than one wife for his country.

Don: What's the matter with you, Jerry?

Jerry Bernard Martin: I'm just trying to hang onto the marvelous latitude of a man's point of view.

[last lines]

Don: It would have been better if you'd never have come around. I could have been talking to myself. Maybe I was. I watched the sufferer turn the corner, and I never saw it again after that.

Don: I crossed the Brooklyn Bridge heading home. I walked through downtown Brooklyn to Flatbush Avenue and took the Long Island Railroad to Plainview to tell Jimmy and Marilla that I knew what had happened to Don. To Donovan. To Light.

Don: Everybody's got a double, they say. People tell me they see her somewhere, but she always insists it wasn't her.