Doctor Nikolas Van Helsing Quotes in The Cannonball Run (1981)
Doctor Nikolas Van Helsing Quotes:
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Doctor Nikolas Van Helsing: I'm Nikolas Van Helsing, professor of proctology and other related tendencies. A graduate of the University of Rangoon. And assorted night classes at the Knoxville Tennessee school of faith healing.
J.J. McClure: You may be a little over qualified for this job.
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[finding the men's room locked, Van Helsing follows Pamela into the women's room]
Pamela Glover: Wait a minute, you can't come in here.
Doctor Nikolas Van Helsing: Madam, not to be indelicate but in my profession; if you've seen one, you've see them all.
Pamela Glover: Oh, okay.
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[At the Portofino Inn, Victor, in his Captain Chaos persona, saves a woman's dog from drowning in the bay and is hailed a hero, but J.J. is furious, as his selfless act cost him and J.J. the championship win]
Victor Prinsi: [as Captain Chaos] J.J., I've saved that woman's dog.
J.J. McClure: [furious] Victor... we could've won that race. Do ya understand what I'm telling you? We could've won it!
Doctor Nikolas Van Helsing: You understand that? You had to go and pull that stupid stunt.
Pamela Glover: He's right, Victor.
J.J. McClure: We are sick of Captain Chaos. We are so sick of Captain Chaos that we could throw up. So you know what, Victor? There's not gonna be anymore Captain Chaos.
[grabs and rip off the mask from Victor's head; yells]
J.J. McClure: NO MORE! Ya see what I'm telling you? NO MORE!
[snatches Victor cape and slams it on the ground]
J.J. McClure: No more Captain Chaos EVER! Now what do ya think of that?
[crowd laughs as Victor seemingly feels broken-hearten over J.J. act of poor sportsmanship]
Victor Prinsi: I don't care, because...
[changes into a new superhero persona with a American flag-like mask and cape]
Victor Prinsi: I've always wanted be... Captain USA! Da-Da-DUM!
[J.J. and the racer laughs]
Victor Prinsi: It's a dirty job, but somebody go to do it.
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[the racers, all neck and neck, are approaching the finish line, with Mad Dog and Batman in the lead]
Mad Dog: We got 'em.
Batman: We got 'em!
[Suddenly a car come in the way, forcing Mad Dog & Batman's GMC truck to do a 180 stop. Bradford and Shakey's motorcycle slips and skids]
J.J. McClure: [screams] LOOK OUT!
[J.J. and Victor's ambulance van and all the other cars come to screeching halt]
J.J. McClure: [yells] Okay, it's a foot race!
Doctor Nikolas Van Helsing: I've got the card.
J.J. McClure: No, gimmie that, Doc! Come on, it's a foot race!
[All the racers storm out and begin running to the finish line to see who can be the first to punch at the clock and win the race]
Victor Prinsi: Have no fear! Chaos is here! DA-DA-DUM!
J.J. McClure: [hands Victor the time card] Take it and win, Captain!
Pamela Glover: Come on, Chaos! You can do it!
[as Victor and Marcie sprints, J.J. jumps on the other racers, tackling them down]
Doctor Nikolas Van Helsing: Does anyone need medical attention?
Browse more character quotes from The Cannonball Run (1981)
Characters on The Cannonball Run (1981)
- J.J. McClure
- Victor Prinsi
- Fenderbaum
- The Greek
- Jamie Blake
- Shaky Finch
- Mr. Foyt
- Pamela Glover
- Female Cop Pulling Over Lamborghini Babes
- Seymour Goldfarb Jr
- The Sheik
- Organizer
- Both
- Bradford Compton
- Jackie Chan, Subaru Driver
- California Highway Patrolman
- Jill Rivers
- Captain Chaos
- Chief Biker
- Female Race Official
- Boy with Camera
- Mom Goldfarb