Doc Schultz Quotes in Support Your Local Gunfighter (1971)

Latigo: This your office?

Doc Schultz: I doctor pack mules, too. If you got a pain in the ass, you come see Doc Schultz.

Doc Schultz: Patience, you got to stop shooting at people. You know something? If you wasn't such a terrible shot, there wouldn't be a young man alive in all of Purgatory. I heard you shot at Elmer Price in the lobby of the hotel yesterday evening.

Patience: Well, he asked me to marry him!

Doc Schultz: You think that's reason enough to shoot at a man?

Taylor Barton: [Latigo has just left] Doc!

Doc Schultz: Yeah!

Taylor Barton: Who was that fella?

Doc Schultz: None 'o your business! And speakin' 'o business, all you mine owners are a despicable lot. You keep hirin' people to kill people that other people hire people to kill your people. And on top 'o that you go elsewhere with your medical business and I have to doctor jackasses just to make ends meet. Now git outta' here, I got business to attend to!

Taylor Barton: Anybody ever tell you you've got a ROTTEN bedside manner?

Doc Schultz: Out!

Taylor Barton: And you talk too much! And I can't understand you!

Doc Schultz: I always did say that whorehouse was a gold mine!

Doc Schultz: [Latigo has come to the doctor for medical consultation] What's your problem?

Latigo: Uh, Doc... Promise you won't tell anybody, huh?

Doc Schultz: On my hypocritic oath!

Patience: [Curious about Latigo Smith's mysterious illness] What's wrong with him, Doc?

Doc Schultz: You know a doc can't talk about his patients, Patience.

Latigo: Well, there's one thing that don't change about women. That's the fact that... they're changeable.

Doc Schultz: Where'd you learn so much about women?

Latigo: I worked at it.