Doberman Quotes in Sgt. Bilko (1996)
Bilko: [introducing Wally to the other men] Tony Morales. The only thing you need to know about Tony is this: he doesn't takes showers because it fogs up the mirror. And finally, the manchild of the hour, the master of disaster, the king of the universe, look out girls, he hates to dine alone, Private Duaaane Doberman!
Doberman: Aw, Sarge.
Bilko: Doberman doesn't take showers either but for an entirely different and much more frightening reason.
Doberman: How long is this blade, White?
Richie: Three inches. Almost as big as your dick.
Doberman: Funny. You know if this was any longer, you'd do time?
Richie: If it was any smaller, you wouldn't have found it!
Doberman: You boys got any special reason to be hiding behind there?
Richie: Yea, we heard you were a horny man.
Carl: I lost a contact lens back there.
Doberman: Oh, really. Come here, let me see.
[Checks Carl's eye]
Doberman: You don't wear contacts.
Carl: I lost both of 'em!
Doberman: Lincoln, the gun
Doberman: I don't get you, Carl. You live in a good place, your dad's got a good job with the Caddies. You're getting to be more of a punk every day, you know that? Lemme ask you somethin'. You got a drive and need to louse things up for yourself?
Carl: I've got a drive, and need to be left alone, okay?
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