Diner #1 Quotes in Clerks II (2006)

Hobbit Lover: Hey man.

Elias: [Puts on Mooby's hat] Welcome to Mooby's, may I take your order?

Hobbit Lover: Yeah um, let's see... Give me one udderly delicious Moo-ilk shake, Skinny Calf and a, order of onion rings. Thanks.

Elias: [Typing into register. To himself:] "One ring to rule them all."

Hobbit Lover: [Surprised] "One ring to find them."

Randal Graves: [Eavesdropping] Oh Jesus.

Elias: "One ring to bring them all."

Hobbit Lover: "And in the darkness bind them!"

Elias: [Hi-5's the Hobbit Lover] Yes! How many times?

Hobbit Lover: Umm, three for 'Fellowship', two for 'Towers', *four* for 'Return'.

Elias: [Showing off] Five for return.

Hobbit Lover: Dude.

Randal Graves: Okay, look. There's only one 'Return', okay, and it ain't of 'The King', it's of 'The Jedi'.

Hobbit Lover: [to Elias] Oh, Star Wars geek.

Randal Graves: Oh I'm the geek? Look at you two whipping out your preciouses.

Elias: [to Hobbit Lover] You'll have to excuse him. He's not 'down' with the trilogy.

Randal Graves: Oh, what the fuck happened to this world? There's only one trilogy you fucking morons.

Hobbit Lover: You know what, maybe we should start calling your friend Padme, because he loves Mannequin Skywalker so much, right?

[Robotic genstures and monotone, imitating Anakin Skywalker]

Hobbit Lover: Danger, danger, my name is Anakin. My shitty acting is ruining saga.

Elias: [Chuckles] Yeah, you're crazy, Jar-Jar.

Randal Graves: Oh I'm crazy? Those fucking hobbit movies were boring as hell. All it was was a bunch of people walking. Three movies of people walking to a fucking volcano... Here's the first movie...

[Walks in a straight line, doped]

Randal Graves: ... And here's the second movie...

[Walks in a straight line and steps]

Randal Graves: ...

Hobbit Lover: He is way off. Loser.

Randal Graves: ...You ready for the third movie?

[Walks in a straight line again, and, at the end, pretends to take a ring off his finger and throw it away, then shrugs]

Diner #1: Fuckin' A.