Dignam Quotes in The Departed (2006)

Lazio: [during a conference briefing about Costello and his crew] without asking too many questions do you have anyone in with Costello presently?

Dignam: Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe fuck yourself.

Dignam: [observing an exchange of microprocessors for money between Costello and Chinese triad members] This is unbelievable. Who put the fuckin' cameras in this place?

Police Camera Tech: Who the fuck are you?

Dignam: I'm the guy who does his job. You must be the other guy.

Dignam: [during a conference briefing about Costello and his crew] My theory on Feds is that they're like mushrooms, feed 'em shit and keep 'em in the dark

Oliver Queenan: [during Costigan's interview] Do you know what we do here? My section?

Billy Costigan: Sir, yes, sir. I have an idea...

Dignam: [interrupting] Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's say you have no idea and leave it at that, okay? No idea. Zip. None. If you had an idea of what we do, we would not be good at what we do, now would we? We would be cunts. Are you calling us cunts?

Oliver Queenan: Staff Sergeant Dignam has a style of his own. I'm afraid we all have to get used to it.

Dignam: [during Costigan's interview] Your fuckin' family's dug into the Southie projects like ticks. Three-decker men at best. You, however, grew up on the North Shore, huh? Well, la-di-fuckin'-da. You were kind of a double kid, I bet, right? Huh? One kid with your old man, one kid with your mother. You're upper-middle class during the weeks, then you're droppin' your "R"s and you're hangin' in the big, bad Southie projects with your daddy, the fuckin' donkey on the weekends. I got that right?

Dignam: [Billy does not answer] Yup. You have different accents? You did, didn't you? You little fuckin' snake. You were like different people.

Billy Costigan: You a psychiatrist?

Dignam: Well, if I was I'd ask you why you're a Statie making 30 grand a year. And I think if I was Sigmund fuckin' Freud I wouldn't get an answer. So tell me, what's a lace-curtain motherfucker like you doing in the Staties?

Billy Costigan: Families are always rising or falling in America, am I right?

Oliver Queenan: Who said that?

Billy Costigan: Hawthorne.

Dignam: [Dignam makes a farting sound] What's the matter, smartass, you don't know any fuckin' Shakespeare?

Oliver Queenan: [during Costigan's interview] We have a question: Do you want to be a cop, or do you want to appear to be a cop? It's an honest question. A lot of guys just want to appear to be cops. Gun, badge, pretend they're on TV.

Dignam: Yeah, a lot of people just wanna slam a nigger's head through a plate-glass window.

Billy Costigan: I'm all set without your own personal job application. Alright, Sergeant?

Dignam: What the fuck did you say to me, trainee?

Billy Costigan: [to Queenan] With all due respect, sir, what do you want from me?

Dignam: Hey asshole, he can't help you! I know what you are, okay? I know what you are and I know what you are not. I'm the best friend you have on the face of this earth, and I'm gonna help you understand something, you punk. You're no fuckin' cop!

Ellerby: [during a conference briefing about Costello and his crew] Staff Sergeant Dignam is our liaison to the the undercover department, his undercover work is extensive. He's here to give us his report. Sergeant Dignam.

Dignam: Ok. My people are out there. They're like fuckin' indians. You're not gonna see 'em you're not gonna hear about 'em except from me or Captain Queenan. You will not ever know the identity of undercover people. Unfortunately, this shithole has more fuckin' leaks than the Iraqi Navy.

Ellerby: Fuck yourself.

Dignam: I'm tired from fuckin' your wife.

Ellerby: How's your mother?

Dignam: Good, she's tired from fuckin' my father.

Oliver Queenan: [meeting privately under a bridge next to a river] Okay, kid. Let's do this. Come on, spread 'em.

[Queenan begins searching Costigan]

Dignam: Hey, what do you think you can pop somebody and there's a special card to play? That guy, Jimmy Bags whose jaw you broke happens to work undercover for the Boston Police Department.

Billy Costigan: I'm going fucking nuts, man. I can't be someone else every fuckin' day. It's been a year of this. I've had enough of this shit!

Dignam: Calm down, alright? Most people in the world do it every day. What's the big deal?

Billy Costigan: Well, I'm not them, alright? I'm not fucking them, okay?

Dignam: Exactly. You're nobody. You signed the papers, remember? Now we're the only two people on the face of this earth that even know you're a cop. How about we just erase your file, huh? How 'bout that? How about we erase your file and then bang, you're just another soldier for Costello open to arrest for I don't know how many felonies. Huh? What do you say we do that, Captain?

Billy Costigan: How about I fucking kill you, huh? How about I fucking kill you!

Oliver Queenan: That was a joke. Come on!

Dignam: That wasn't a joke. Just because you play a tough guy, doesn't mean you are one you lace-curtain, Irish fucking pussy!

[Costigan punches Dignam]

Oliver Queenan: Hey, hey! Stop it! Break it up! Stop it!

Billy Costigan: [to Dignam] Fuck you, motherfucker!

Oliver Queenan: Goddamn it, stop it! That's an order!

[fighting stops]

Oliver Queenan: For chrissake, be smart. If anybody's watching us now, how are we not supposed to arrest you? Come on, get in the car. Both of you, get in the car!

Oliver Queenan: [during Colin's interview] Congratulations on passing the detectives' exam, and welcome to the Special Investigation Unit.

Dignam: Whoop-de-fuckin'-do.

[Sullivan tries to enter Queenan's office, but Dignam blocks his way]

Colin Sullivan: Problem?

Dignam: Yeah, I got a problem. I run rat fucks like you, okay? I don't like 'em.

Colin Sullivan: The day you wouldn't take a promotion, let me know. And if you'd taken care of this, I wouldn't even be here.

Dignam: Fuck yourself, you piece of shit.

Colin Sullivan: And I'm gonna need the identity of your undercovers.

Dignam: Blow me, all right? But not literally, though. Unfortunately, there's no promotion involved for you.

[Dignam leaves]

Colin Sullivan: Fucking prick.

Billy Costigan: [talking in the back seat of a car] When are you gonna take Costello, huh?

[animated]

Billy Costigan: I mean, what's wrong with taking him on any one of the

[yelling]

Billy Costigan: million fucking felonies that you've seen him do, or I've seen him do? I mean, I mean, he murdered somebody, right? The guy fucking murders somebody, and you don't fucking take him! What are you waiting for, honestly? I mean, do you want him to chop me up and feed me to the poor? Is that what you guys want?

Dignam: [sarcastically while sitting in the front seat] Yeah, well that might stick.

Oliver Queenan: [to Dignam] Will you shut up?

Dignam: [On the phone with Costigan] Why don't we just meet up sweetheart? Let me buy you an ice cream.

Billy Costigan: I'm getting on a plane unless you put Queenan on the phone.

Dignam: Queenan had a funeral to go to, okay? This is my shift. Just calm down.

Billy Costigan: Meet up? Meet - you actually want me dead? Look, there is a RAT in your unit, that is a FACT! Alright? Where's Queenan?

Dignam: He's not here.

Billy Costigan: They knew you had cameras in the building! They knew EVERYTHING, alright? There is a leak from the inside! It's real, man, smoke him out!

Dignam: Yeah, how do we do that Mr. Fucking Genius who didn't even graduate from the academy?

Billy Costigan: Let it slip through SIU that you have a sealed wiretap warrant for Costello's apartment. Don't tell ANYONE in our division, but tell SIU. Flush it down the pipe and see if it comes out on my end, alright? That's what we do first, we narrow it down. Where is Queenan?

Dignam: He's not here. You want to meet up or you got something real, call me back.

[Hangs up]

Oliver Queenan: You're a worker. You rise fast.

Dignam: Like a 12-year-old's dick.

Colin Sullivan: Thank you, Sergeant.

Dignam: My pleasure.

Dignam: I can't wait to wipe that fucking smirk right off of your face.

Frank Costello: Wouldn't you rather wipe my ass for me?

Ellerby: Queenan is dead. I'm your boss now.

Dignam: I don't give a fuck, I'd rather hand in my papers first.

Ellerby: World needs plenty of bartenders - two weeks, with pay!

Ellerby: So do you know why Queenan went into that building?

Colin Sullivan: No.

Dignam: Well, a better question is why the fuck were your guys following him?

Colin Sullivan: I told Internal Investigations to follow Captain Queenan.

Dignam: Why?

Colin Sullivan: That's Internal Investigations' business.

[Dignam hits Colin, starting a fight causing the other officers to intervene]

Dignam: Fucking piece of shit!

Colin Sullivan: Cocksucker! I don't have to fucking explain anything to anybody! I can fucking investigate anybody I fucking want to!

Dignam: [being held back] Let him go, come on.

Colin Sullivan: I don't give a fuck what you think! Captain, I've got reason to believe that Queenan got killed by his own fucking undercover.

Dignam: That's a fucking lie.

Colin Sullivan: [pointing to Dignam] He has fucking information in a locked file, as did Captain Queenan. I need access to those files.

Dignam: Hey, I forgot the password, but if you'd like to come down to the garage with me, I'd be happy to give it to you.

Colin Sullivan: [pushing towards Dignam] That's a fucking lie.

Dignam: [pushing towards Colin] Nobody calls me a liar!