Dickie Roberts Quotes in Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star (2003)

[Acting as a 6-year-old, finding a new bike on Christmas morning]

Dickie Roberts: Holy shit, a bike!

Rob Reiner: You're six.

Dickie Roberts: Holy crap, a bike!

Rob Reiner: You're six.

Dickie Roberts: Goo-goo, ga-ga, bikey!

Rob Reiner: Too far back.

Dickie Roberts: This is Nuckin' Futs!

Sally Finney: Dickie, you promised to help me with my pep squad tryouts.

Dickie Roberts: Oh, I will. That pep squad spot's got your name all over it. Did I ever tell you I was a backup dancer for Vanilla Ice?

Sam Finney: [laughs] No way!

Dickie Roberts: Oh, yeah, I owe him a call.

Mrs. Gertrude: Aren't you a bit big to be in a stroller?

Dickie Roberts: Aren't you bit big to be on the sidewalk?

Grace Finney: [Grace is pushing Dickie down the sidewalk in a stroller]

Grace Finney: This feels a little odd.

Dickie Roberts: Dude, I'm the one in the stroller.

Grace Finney: Did you just call me, dude?

Dickie Roberts: I mean mommy.

Dickie Roberts: May I help you? Was I being too loud in my treeehouse?

Dickie Roberts: Insane in the membrane! Insane, got no brain!

Bully: Hey!

Dickie Roberts: Hey? Don't you mean "Oink"?

Dickie Roberts: [to a bully picking on Sam] Is that red hair, or did someone light a fart off your mouth?

Dickie Roberts: Whoa! You ever have such a bad wipeout you don't even feel it?

[falls]

Sam Finney: That wasn't one of them!

Dickie Roberts: [having cereal] Hey, look, there's a prize inside!

[Gives Grace the middle finger]

Sally Finney: [both looking outside at treehouse] I wonder what he's doing up there.

Sam Finney: Who cares, just as long as Stranger Danger's out of our house.

Sally Finney: But still.

Sam Finney: Yeah. It actually looks pretty cool. Is that a disco ball?

Dickie Roberts: [inside treehouse] Woo!

Sally Finney: Seem, maybe we should peek our heads in.

Dickie Roberts: You know who else I don't get? Vin Diesel. I mean, is he good looking? Is he Chinese, or what? I mean, I don't know...

Leif Garrett: That's so horrible, man. Geez, you're such a dick. Besides, he would kick your ass.

Girl: [two girls spot Leif Garrett and Dickie talking on the sidewalk] Oh, my God! You're Leif Garrett! I used to have such a crush on you!

Girl: Can I have your autograph?

Dickie Roberts: You want my autograph too? Dickie Roberts.

Girl: No, I'm fine.

Dickie Roberts: How about if I put it on a $5 bill?

Girl: Make it a 20?

Dickie Roberts: [while talking to an overweight woman] What? Cat got your tongue or did you eat that for breakfast too?

Barry Williams: I bet you a thousand dollars... no, make that a hundred dollars and the actual football we used to hit Marcia with in the whole "My nose, My nose" episode, that Brendan Frasier never calls.

[Dickie's phone rings]

Dickie Roberts: Hold on.

[answers phone]

Dickie Roberts: Go for Dickie.

[everyone else laughs]

Dickie Roberts: Brendan? Yes, of course I can meet Rob Reiner tomorrow!

Dickie Roberts: [laughs and points at Barry Williams, who glares at him]

Dickie Roberts: [after seeing bump on receptionist's head] Yikes!... I mean, not yikes. I mean what bump?

Dickie Roberts: Good night, prudes. Go have your G rated dreams. Prude filled dreams. Dream the dream of prudes. Prude...

Sam Finney: Go to sleep Dickie!

Dickie Roberts: When I was your age, I did whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted.

Sally Finney: See, that might be why you're such a mess now.

Dickie Roberts: Oh. How dare you!

Dickie Roberts: [After singing the wrong words for a song on the radio] Changing the words, not the vibe.

Grace Finney: Wow, sift through that to find the nugget of compliment.

Dickie Roberts: Sift away sifty.

Dickie Roberts: That's a great idea! Not only is she sexy she's a smart Mommy!

Grace Finney: Why did that compliment almost make me puke?