Dick Steele, Agent WD-40 Quotes in Spy Hard (1996)

Dick Steele, Agent WD-40: You carry a UB-21 Schnauzer with a Gnab silencer. That's KGB. You prefer an H&K over an A.K. Your surveillance technique is NSA. Your ID is CIA. You received your Ph.D. at NYU. Traded in your GTO for a BMV. You listen to CDs by R.E.M. and STP. And you'd like to see J.F.K. in his BVDs, getting down with O.P.P. And you probably put the toilet paper back on the roll with the paper on the inside.

[about to infiltrate Kikiree Island]

Dick Steele, Agent WD-40: I'm going in there.

Veronique Ukrinsky, Agent 3.14: That's crazy!

Dick Steele, Agent WD-40: No, crazy is walking down the street with half a cantaloupe on your head, muttering "I'm a hamster, I'm a hamster."

Veronique Ukrinsky, Agent 3.14: Have a nice flight, and I wish you adieus

Dick Steele, Agent WD-40: Thank you, but I am quite satisfied with the do I have.

Dick Steele, Agent WD-40: Operator, get me Washington.

Operator: George?

Dick Steele, Agent WD-40: D.C.

Dick Steele, Agent WD-40: [to Rancor] I'd shake your hand, but I don't know where it landed

Kabul: Do you have lighter?

Dick Steele, Agent WD-40: I only use matches.

Kabul: Does your mother know you smoke?

Dick Steele, Agent WD-40: Yes. But I don't inhale.

Kabul: Kabul

[Steele gives him puzzled look]

Kabul: I'm Kabul