Dick Pepperfield Quotes in Semi-Pro (2008)

Dick Pepperfield: Jackie's teammates doing just an awful job of stabilizing his spine off the court.

Dick Pepperfield: Lou, would you mind putting out that cigarette? It's very unprofessional.

Lou Redwood: No. I like to smoke when I drink.

[Lou sips his drink]

Cornelius Banks: [to Lou] You were never in 'Nam, you jive turkey.

[long silence]

Lou Redwood: [coldly] Did you just call me a jive turkey?

[Cornelius shakes his head]

Jackie Moon: No. No, he did not, he uh... he called you cocksucker. Right Cornelius?

Cornelius Banks: Yeah, I just called you cocksucker.

Lou Redwood: Pretty sure you called me a jive turkey.

Dick Pepperfield: No, no, now Lou, nobody called anyone a J.T.

Lou Redwood: Jive turkey is a little over the line, my man!

Jackie Moon: Look. We were all here, we all heard what was said, and we're in agreement, Cornelius said cocksucker. Right?

Bobby Dee: He just said you suck cock!

Dick Pepperfield: That's all he said about you!

Jackie Moon: Come on. Dig into that fondue... little cocksucker.

[laughs]

Lou Redwood: We like playing games, don't we?

Jackie Moon: It's true, we're playing one right now.

Lou Redwood: I'm gonna show you guys this game I learned when I was in FUCKIN' NAM!

[Lou draws his gun and aims it at Cornelius]

Lou Redwood: Who's the jive turkey now?

Jackie Moon: Nothing in the rulebook that says you can't play drunk.

Dick Pepperfield: Well actually there is.

Lou Redwood: Jackie Moon is Flint's favorite son. And he has done more for this city than any human being who's ever lived on this planet!

Dick Pepperfield: With the possible exception of eh, Henry Ford... Jackie Moon has done a lot for this city, you're right about that.

Dick Pepperfield: Here comes the Alley... and there goes the Oop!

Dick Pepperfield: Well, we've got an especially dirty hippy here down on the court trying to sink an impossible shot.

Jackie Moon: [jokingly aiming an unloaded gun at his head] I'll see you fuckers in hell.

[pulls trigger, all laugh]

Bobby Dee: [aiming the gun at Jackie] Jackie, "Love Me Sexy" is the worst song I've ever heard.

[pulls trigger, all laugh]

Cornelius Banks: Watch this.

Cornelius Banks: [aiming the gun at Lou] I did call you jive turkey.

[pulls trigger, all laugh]

Dick Pepperfield: [aiming the gun at Lou] I know you slept with Mrs. Pepperfield!

[pulls trigger, all laugh]

Lou Redwood: [laughing] We're saying nutty things 'cause they're not true... especially that, more than the rest.

[Jackie tosses a gun onto the table. The gun fires a bullet. Everyone ducks as the bullet ricochets across the room]

Jackie Moon: Everybody okay?

Bobby Dee: I think so.

Cornelius Banks: Yeah.

Jackie Moon: I'm fine.

Bobby Dee: Wow!

Dick Pepperfield: We just literally dodged a bullet.

[laughs]

Jackie Moon: [laughing] We sure did!

Jackie Moon: [looks at Cornelius] Except for Cornelius!

[blood starts coming out of Cornelius' arm cast]

Cornelius Banks: [smiling] Woah! I did get shot!