Dick Liddil Quotes in The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford (2007)

Ed Miller: I was with a girl once. Wasn't a squaw, but she was purty. She had yellow hair, like uh... oh, like something.

Dick Liddil: Like hair bobbed from a ray of sunlight?

Ed Miller: Yeah, yeah. Like that. Boy, you talk good.

Dick Liddil: You can hide things in vocabulary.

Ed Miller: Maybe you and me could writer her a note, send it by post?

Dick Liddil: See, all you gotta do, Ed, is predict her needs and beat her to the punch.

Ed Miller: Well, this girl, she had a real specific job.

Dick Liddil: Specific?

Ed Miller: We's only together once. She's afraid of lightning. She came up into the wagon and just cuddled right up to me. She gave me a kind price, too.

Dick Liddil: Well I'll be! That is specific.

Ed Miller: Yeah, sure, she been with other people. But the kinds of things she said to me, people just don't say unless they really mean it.

Dick Liddil: "My love said she would marry only me, and Jove himself could not make her care, for what women say to lovers, you'll agree, one writes on running water, or on air."

Ed Miller: My God that's good. Let's write her that.

Dick Liddil: Naw. Poetry don't work on whores.

Charley Ford: Hey, Dick, you ever diddled a squaw?

Dick Liddil: Shh...

Charley Ford: Come on, you can tell me. I've always wanted to lay down with a redskin.

Dick Liddil: Well, Charley, there's a feeling that comes over you gettin' inside a woman whose hands have scalped a congregation.

Wood Hite: There's a thunderous sound that comes from their cooch on account of the fact that they birth a child standing upright like a wild animal.

Charley Ford: What's it sound like?

Wood Hite: Whatever a thunderous cooch sounds like, Charley. I don't know.

Dick Liddil: No, they got a noisy quim on account of the fact that they use their cunnies as a saddlebag to carry tundries across the planes.

Charley Ford: Come on, what'd it really feel like? It feel good? Come on. Fess up, now.

Dick Liddil: I like you, Charley.

Wood Hite: I like you too, Charley.

Dick Liddil: I guess we're the night-owls, you and I...

Dick Liddil: Did you cook this, ma'am?

Sarah Hite: I've got a nigga woman.

Major George Hite: [short of hearing] How's that?

Sarah Hite: [louder and slower] Dick asked if I cooked this!

Major George Hite: Did ya?

Sarah Hite: ...No!

Wood Hite: [whispering to Dick] She knew what he was like when she married him.

Dick Liddil: Can you hand me that six-gun there, Bob?

[Bob hands Dick his "grandaddy" paterson colt]

Dick Liddil: [holding the gun to Bob's head, whispering] If you so much as mention my name to Jesse... Boy, I'd find out about it. You had better believe *that*. And I'll look you up. I will knock on your door. And I will be as mad as a hornet. I will be hot.

Robert Ford: Careful with that iron, Dick.

Dick Liddil: You know where I stand on these matters and that's all there is to it. Me and you can be as friendly as pigs from now on.

Robert Ford: How's that leg?

Dick Liddil: Full of torment, Bob. Thanks for askin'.