Dick Quotes in She (1984)

Taphir: Our law is She, the goddess, who's your god?

Dick: Our god? We don't have god, we do business.

Dick: What was that?

She: A bomb.

Dick: A what?

She: A bomb!

Dick: What's a bomb?

Dick: What do you think?

Tom: About what?

Dick: Come on! You like her!

Tom: Yeah, I do.

Dick: [after rescuing Shandra from being tortured on a rack] You look a bit taller.

Dick: When I was a kid, I used to see men go off on this kind of jobs... and not come back. When they did, they were wrecks. Their hair had turned white and their hands were shaking like palsy! You don't know what fear is. But you'll see. It's catching, it's catching like small pox! And once you get it, it's for life! So long, boys, and good luck.

Dick: You say "Dick", I come runnin'.

Dick: That jungle is thick. I don't think anybody's even been in there. You know, you should quit now while you're alive.

Peter Gaulke: Nope. Not on my watch.

Dick: [to Perry, just after arrest] Hey, Buddy, put in a call for that big, ol' Yellow Bird!

Dick: I don't know gold dust from diarrhea!

Perry: It's true! Really true! We're on our way and never coming back. Never! And no regrets.

Dick: For you. You're leaving nothing. What about my old man... and my mother? They'll still be there when my checks start bouncing.

Perry: It's nice the way you think about your folks.

Dick: Yeah! I'm a real thoughtful bastard.

Perry: That was stupid - stealin' a lousy pack of razor blades! To prove what?

Dick: It's the national pastime, baby, stealin' and cheatin'. If they ever count every cheatin' wife and tax chiseler, the whole country would be behind prison walls.

Dick: [to Perry] I'm SICK of it, maps, buried treasure, ALL OF IT! So ship it, burn it, get RID of that ton and a half of garbage! There AIN'T no buried treasure, and even if there WAS, boy, hell, you can't even swim!

Dick: Did you ever hang any paper?

Perry: I couldn't cash a check, even if it was good!

Dick: Did you see those guys? They coulda robbed us!

Perry: What of?

Dick: Next move... Mexico. Once we beat it out of the country.

Perry: On what? $43 and a smile and bullshit.

[First use of the word 'bullshit' in a Hollywood film]

Dick: You guessed it, chief. It's the smile that does it. Like it says in the commercials, the family that sticks together lives forever.

Perry: [to himself, looking in a bathroom mirror] Stick 'em up!

Perry: Hey, buddy!

Perry: [realizing he's being watched] How long you been standin' there?

Dick: Long enough to catch your late late show.

Dick: There's two kinds of laws, honey. One for the rich and one for the poor.

Dick: [to the prisoner in the next cell] Hey Andy, do them books say what happens when you hang?

Andy: [smoking cigar] Neck breaks...

[spits]

Andy: crap your pants.

Herbert Clutter: Why do you boys want to do this?

Dick: Shut up!

Dick: Welcome back to Kansas buddy. The heart of America. The land of wheat, corn, bible, and natural gas

Dick: Forget it. Black stockings are a waste of time. No one's gonna remember us because we're leaving no witnesses.

Dick: A full day's work deserves a full-course dinner.

Perry: The condemned ate a hearty meal.

Dick: I don't know what they ate, but tonight, cheeseburgers

Dick: like it says in the commercials, "the family that sticks together lives forever".

Dick: [Rosie sees the doctor for the stuck condom in her vagina] Hi, I'm Dick.

Rosie Dunne: Of course, you are.

Rob Gordon: I will now sell five copies of "The Three EPs" by The Beta Band.

Dick: Go for it.

[Rob plays the record]

Beta Band Customer: Who is this?

Rob Gordon: The Beta Band.

Beta Band Customer: It's good.

Rob Gordon: I know.

Barry: I wanna date a musician.

Rob Gordon: I wanna live with a musician. She'd write songs at home and ask me what I thought of them, and maybe even include one of our little private jokes in the liner notes.

Barry: Maybe a little picture of me in the liner notes.

Dick: Just in the background somewhere.

Louis: I don't have that record... I'll buy it for forty.

Rob: Sold.

Louis: Now why would you sell it to me and not to him?

Barry: Because you're not a geek, Louis.

Louis: You guys are snobs.

Dick: No, we're not.

Louis: Yeah, seriously, you're totally elitist. You feel like the unappreciated scholars, so you shit onto people who know lesser than you.

Rob, Barry, Dick: No!

Louis: Which is everybody...

Rob, Barry, Dick: Yeah...

Louis: That's so sad.

Dick: I guess it looks as if you're reorganizing your records. What is this though? Chronological?

Rob: No...

Dick: Not alphabetical...

Rob: Nope...

Dick: What?

Rob: Autobiographical.

Dick: No fucking way.

Barry: Top 5 songs about death. A Laura's Dad tribute list, okay? Okay. Leader of the Pack. The guy fuckin' beefs it on his motorcycle and dies, right? Dead Man's Curve. Jan & Dean.

Dick: Do you know that right after they recorded that song Jan himself crashed his car...

Barry: It was Dean you fuckin' idiot...

Rob: It was Jan. It was a long time after the song.

Barry: Okay, whatever. Tell Laura I Love Her. That would bring the house down - Laura's Mom could sing it. You know what I'd want? One Step Beyond by Madness. And, uh, You Can't Always Get What You Want.

Dick: No. Immediate disqualification because of its involvement with The Big Chill.

Barry: Oh God. You're right!

Dick: Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald - Gordon Lightfoot.

Barry: You bastard! That's so good - that should have been mine... The night Laura's daddy died. Sha na na na na na na na na! Brother what a night it really was. Mother what a night it really... angina's tough! Glory be!

Barry: Holy shite. What the fuck is that?

Dick: It's the new Belle and Sebastian...

Rob: It's a record we've been listening to and enjoying, Barry.

Barry: Well, that's unfortunate, because it sucks ass.

Dick: Marie de Salle's playing. You remember I told you about her. I like her. She's kind of Sheryl Crow-ish crossed with a post-Partridge Family pre-L.A. Law Susan Dey kind of thing, but, you know, uh, black.

[while Marie de Salle is singing "Baby I Love Your Way"]

Rob Gordon: I used to hate this song.

Barry, Dick: Yeah.

Rob Gordon: Now I kinda like it.

Barry, Dick: Yeah.

Barry: Hey, it's half past a monkey's ass, let's get out of here.

Dick: Um, I can't meet you guys at the club tonight.

Barry: Why?

[Dick smiles]

Barry: Who are you going to see?

Dick: [grins bashfully] Nobody.

Barry: Rob! Loooky-looky! Dick, are you gettin' some?

[Dick pauses]

Barry: Oh-ho-ho! Un-fucking-believable! Dick's got a hot date! How did this happen, Dick? What logical explanation can can there possibly be? What's her name?

Dick: Annaugh.

Barry: Anna? Anna what? Anna Conda?

Dick: Annaugh Moss.

Barry: [laughing] Anna M-ha-ha-oss? Is she all green and fuzzy and mossy? And you met this bruiser where exactly? The home for the mentally challenged or the blind or the bus station?

Dick: Um, here. She asked me about the new Green Day album, and I told her...

Barry: Oh, man, finally! *Anna!* That's great, Dick! Really! Smoke that ass!

Mrs. Mimi Jared: And what classes are you taking... Dick?

Dick: Ummm, Gangbang 101, Freebase Tutorial, and Oral Sex Workshop.

Mrs. Mimi Jared: I leave you alone for five minutes, and you're drinking.

Dick: Drunk. I'm drunk.

Paul Denton: What the hell are you doing?

Dick: Getting fucked up. Maybe getting fucked?

Dick: Fuck you all very much.

Paul Denton: Oh, Jesus, Richard is that you?

Dick: It's Dick. And yes.

Dick: [after seeing Hart tied up and drawing the wrong conclusion] So! This is what you're into now. Bondage, S&M, sex games!

Judy Bernly: [thinking fast] Uh... that's right, all of it! I'm into... everything. Now, get out of here!

Dick: Who *is* that guy?

Judy Bernly: My boss.

Dick: Oh, so you're having an affair with your boss, huh? Isn't that typical!

Judy Bernly: Just like you ran off with your secretary! After getting her *pregnant*, no less!

Dick: But, Judy, this isn't you at all! You can't be serious about this!

Judy Bernly: Don't you tell me what I can or can't be serious about, or what is or isn't me! If I want to play S&S and M&M and all those other bondage games, or even smoke pot, that's my business!

Dick: Smoking *pot*? I can see what all that has done to you...! And to think I actually came here tonight and asked you to come back to me! HA!

Judy Bernly: "HA" is right! Would *you* come back to you? Why, I opened a bottle of wine the day after you flew off with Liza!

Dick: ...If that's the way you feel, then there's nothing more to say.

Judy Bernly: Oh, yes there is... HIT THE ROAD, BUSTER; THIS IS WHERE YOU GET OFF!

[shoves him out of the house and slams the door after him]

Dick: Checkers - shut up. Or I'll feed you to the Chinese.

Dick: I've got a way with young people. They trust me.

Dick: Pat, will ya stop snoring, goddamn it! My head is about to explode!

Arlene Lorenzo: We think you haven't been completely honest with us.

Dick: Let me tell you, if it's about that goddamn Watergate! I tell you, I had NOTHING to do with it, you hear? It's those goddamn Woodward and Burnstein! They're out to get me!

Arlene Lorenzo: [Stunned silence] Actually it was just about the dog.

Betsy Jobs: You act like you like him. But we don't think you do.

Dick: What dog?

Dick: What? You got into a fight?

Allan: Yep.

Dick: With who?

Allan: Some guys were getting tough with Julie. I had to teach them a lesson.

Dick: Are you all right?

Allan: Yeah, I'm fine. I snapped my chin down onto some guy's fist and hit another one in the knee with my nose.

Dick: Allan, you have invested your emotions in a losing stock, it was wiped out, it dropped off the board. Now what do you do Allan? You reinvest. Maybe in a more stable stock. Something with long term growth possibilities.

Allan: Who are you going to fix me up with, General Motors?

Dick: You know any other girls?

Linda: I don't know if any of my friends are his type. I mean, most of the girls I know are fairly normal.

Dick: He was always very fussy.

Allan: Yes, but look at the results.

Dick: Yes, you never went out.

Dick: [On the phone] Let me tell you where you can reach me, George. I'll be at 362-9296 for a while; then I'll be at 648-0024 for about fifteen minutes; then I'll be at 752-0420; and then I'll be home, at 621-4598. Yeah, right George, bye-bye.

Linda: There's a phone booth on the corner. You want me to run downstairs and get the number? You'll be passing it.

Dick: [Allan's imagines Dick walking out in the ocean to commit suicide] How could they? My wife and my best friend. I loved her. I loved him. Why didn't I see it coming? Me who had the foresight to buy Polaroid at eight and a half.

Allan: You want a Fresca with a Darvon?

Linda: Unless you have apple juice.

Allan: Apple juice and Darvon is fantastic together!

Linda: Have you ever had Librium and tomato juice?

Allan: No, I haven't personally, but another neurotic tells me they're unbelievable.

Dick: Could I get a coke with nothing in it?

Dick: Who were these guys?

Allan: Oh, they said they were hairdressers, hard to believe though.

Dick: [On the phone] Hello, this is Mr. Christie, look, I'm no longer at 752-0420, I'm at going to be home at 621-4598. What? Yes, I'll hold on.

Dick: [On the phone] Marjorie, did Mr. Hardy call? Well, I'm at 922-3299. Yeah, well I'll be here - I'm picking my wife up. What? Who? Oh, Allan Felix. Yeah, all right. I'll call him later. Right. Bye-bye.

Dick: [On the phone] Hello, this is Mr. Christie. I'm no longer at 431-5997. I'm gonna be at Mr. Fe- what time did that come in? Yeah.

Dick: [On the phone] Hi, this is Mr. Christie. I'm at the Hong Fat Noodle Company - that's, eh, 824-7996. Yeah, Right. Okay. Bye-bye.

Dick: [On the phone] Hello, this is Mr. Christie. I'm no longer at 731-0711. I'll be at 885-0714. That's good for the whole weekend.

Allan: I like blondes. Little blondes with long hair and short skirts and boots and big chest and bright, witty and perceptive.

Dick: Well, don't set yourself ridiculous stands, Allan.

Linda: She must be beautiful with long hair and a big bust?

Allan: Yes. And a good behind - something I can sink my teeth into.

Dick: [On the phone] I'm at 392-8098.

Dick: They call me Dick, but you can call me... Dick.

Dick: We're like Batman and Robin... or Superman, and his dick.

Weenie: What's wrong? You look sad.

Dick: No. No, I'm not sad. Well yeah, I'm a little sad, I guess.

Weenie: Well, cheer up motherfucka!

Dick: The tellers are gonna love him! He looks like the boy next door they should have fucked.

Bug: Why do we even need this fancy prick?

Dick: We have been through this. If Donnie goes in, it looks like he has two days to live. No offense. You or I go in, it's like panic city.

Donnie: Dick...

Dick: What is it, Donnie?

Donnie: Uh, can I get a nickle?

Dick: Donnie, why are you asking me for...

Donnie: I don't have any money.

Dick: We need Donnie. We need his perfect little criminal mind.

Dick: Did you get the dough?

Harve: Naw, what a runaround!

Dick: What happened?

Harve: We drove by the place in a laundry truck, me peakin' out of hole in the side. See, I spotted four Dicks I knew by sight. No tellin' how many more were staked out.

Dick: Was the package there?

Harve: Surrrrrrrrrrrrre! And 18 Bulls ready to grab any sucker that gets within 10 yards of it.

Dick: She's daffy alright. She thinks she's going somewhere. She's dabbin' herself with lipstick and gettin' most of it on her nightgown.

Dick: You're stopping me at my favorite sin.

Dick: [referring to John Grant] What's the matter with him? He'd rather talk to a woman than drink?

Tim Hynes: Schoolteacher.

Dick: Oh.

Janie: [During a dream] I've got it! I'll marry all three of 'em.

Tom, Dick, Harry: All three of us?

Janie: Sure!

Tom, Dick, Harry: Do you think it'd work?

Janie: Why not? I think the four of us would make a lovely couple.

Dick: Hop in. - - Are you all right back there?

Janie: Swell!

Dick: [in Janie's dream] S'il vous plaît, voulez-vous.

Janie: Golly, yes. I certainly do!

Janie: This is long distance.

Dick: [on the phone] Hello, babe. How about another one of those tricky calls to New York? Can you get me Brenda Whitney, Jr. at Columbus 5-0-0-9-8.

Janie: I'll try. Mr. Hamilton, will you hold the line please. Chicago. New York for Middleton please.

Brenda Whitney Jr.: [on the phone] Dick?

Dick: Did I wake you, sweetheart? Come here, will ya.

Brenda Whitney Jr.: I'm right with you, cookie.

Dick: What are you doing?

Brenda Whitney Jr.: Talkin' to a fella.

Dick: [inaudible]

Brenda Whitney Jr.: Oh, just around.

Dick: Well, move over, will you.

Brenda Whitney Jr.: Dick!

Dick: And when Cinderella came home, her two ugly sisters were waiting for her.

Tom: Who is this guy, Janie?

Janie: Tom meet Dick. Dick meet Harry. Harry meet Tom. Tom meet Janie. Janie meet the situation.

Tom: [points to Harry] Janie, I want you to tell this fuzzle-top feather-merchant who you're engaged to.

Janie: [points to Dick] Him.

Harry: Him?

Tom: Him?

Janie: Him.

Tom: What about me?

Janie: I'm engaged to you too.

Dick: What?

Tom: You mean you're engaged to both of us?

Janie: I'm engaged to all three of you.

Dick: What?

Tom: But you can't be!

Janie: Why not? You all asked me.

Dick: Sweetness in the night. It passes. Light chocolate melting on the tongue.

Lianna: [after seeing him misbehaving there with one of his students] How was the party?

Dick: Okay I guess. The usual. A lot of students like always at the Loomises', trying to score their brownie points.

Lianna: Um hmm.

[pause]

Lianna: How many do you get for a fuck in the sandbox?