Diane Decker Quotes in Parental Guidance (2012)

Artie Decker: I feel 10 years younger than I am, and I look 10 years younger than that, so you're asking a 38 year old to retire.

Diane Decker: You're 38? Good, paint the house.

Diane Decker: Artie!

Artie Decker: I'm sorry! I can't take this anymore! This whole "teachable moments" of protecting their self-esteem and nobody gets punished and every game ends in a tie! All I hear is "Use your words. Use your words," but the word they never use with the kids is "No!"

Alice Simmons: You threatened her violin teacher?

Diane Decker: She says threatened, I call it defending my granddaughter.

Diane Decker: You know what we are? We're the OTHER grandparents.

Artie Decker: Well we can't be all 4.

Diane Decker: Bravo! Oh, wow! Harper, that was wonderful!

Harper Decker Simmons: I stunk.

Diane Decker: You most certainly did not!

[to Dr. Schveer]

Diane Decker: Wasn't she wonderful?

Dr. Schveer: No. This will *not* be good enough for your audition. You must practice more! When my daughter underperforms, I shun her. *This* girl should be shunned!

Diane Decker: Dr. Schveer? I shun you, consider yourself shunned.

Diane Decker: You know what grandparenting is? Second chance.