Diana Barrie Quotes in California Suite (1978)

Diana Barrie: What's that green slime you're eating? It looks like a dish out of Oliver Twist.

Sidney Cochran: I'm not sure... I think they run the front lawn through a blender.

Diana Barrie: We should never have come. I never know how to dress in this bloody country. It is so easy to dress in England. You just put on warm clothing.

[getting ready for Oscar ceremony]

Diana Barrie: Say something *nice* to me Sidney! I've been getting ready for this horseshit affair for *three hours!*

Diana Barrie: Screw the Oscars. Screw the Academy Awards. Screw me, Sidney. Please. Please.

Diana Barrie: [after he kisses her] Don't close your eyes, Sidney.

Sidney Cochran: I always close my eyes.

Diana Barrie: Not tonight. Look at me tonight. Let it be me tonight.

[first lines]

[a two-seater plane is flying over snow-capped mountains]

Harold: For heaven's sake, Wendy - look for an airport. Will you look for the airport?

Diana Barrie: Oh don't make such a fuss. Just put it down on a mountain.

Harold: What do you mean 'just put it down'? I'm lucky I can keep it up. I told you I never flew before.

Diana Barrie: Don't shout at me - I'm a first-class passenger.

Harold: You're a first class lunatic. It's all over Wendy - our relationship has a quarter of a tank to go.

Diana Barrie: Yes, but - you do love me, don't you Harold? I know this is an awkward time to bring it up, but I must know, for our future.

[plane suddenly plummets]

Harold: Whoa-a-a-a!

[last lines]

Stewardess: Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. Welcome aboard Flight 211 to New York and London. Our flying time this afternoon will be four hours and fifty minutes and we'll be cruising at an altitude of 37,000 feet. We'll now be serving you cocktails and beverages and then serving lunch, followed by our film 'No Left Turn' starring James Coburn and Diana Barrie.

Diana Barrie: Oh Christ! Sidney, let's get off. Tell them to let us off this bloody plane.

Sidney Cochran: I am going to bed. We have a 10 a.m. plane to catch in the morning.

Diana Barrie: 10 a.m. is the morning. That is redundant, you A.H.

Sidney Cochran: Oh, do you think I don't know what you're saying? I *can* spell, you know.

Diana Barrie: Not without moving your lips, you can't.

Diana Barrie: [on the Academy Awards] Why do they have these things so early? I mean, no woman can look good at 5 o'clock in the afternoon. Except, possibly Tatum O'Neal.

Diana Barrie: They will think that we are still mad for each other after twelve years.

Sidney Cochran: Oh, I thought we were. I keep forgetting.

Diana Barrie: That's not funny Sidney - that's bizarre!

Diana Barrie: I won't get pissed until after I lose.

Diana Barrie: What do you do with your afternoon... Sidney?

Sidney Cochran: In London? I don't think we have afternoon.

Diana Barrie: [angrily] I'm not asking you - I'm threatening you, you crud!

Sidney Cochran: Now I'm definitely not going to tell you.

Diana Barrie: [sincerely] I'm sorry - I take it back Sidney, you're not a crud!

Sidney Cochran: Am I still an asshole?

Diana Barrie: Definitely!

Diana Barrie: I look like I was hit by a fully-loaded, guided tour bus.

Diana Barrie: There is never anything personal between us, is there? Or is that going too personal?

[during an argument after the awards]

Diana Barrie: Faggot.

Sidney Cochran: Oh, good. I thought you'd never ask.

Sidney Cochran: Channel 12 just called you the dark horse. They must have seen the dress.

Diana Barrie: You hate it.

Sidney Cochran: How much was it?

Diana Barrie: Nothing, Joe Pickman paid for it.

Sidney Cochran: Then I love it.

Diana Barrie: Damn it I wish you didn't have such good taste.

Diana Barrie: I found the people at the Oscars singularly unattractive, didn't you? I noticed a general decline in facelifts and hair transplants. Must be the economy, don't you think?

Diana Barrie: If there's one thing i can't stand it's a bi-sexual homosexual. Or is it the other way 'round?

Sidney Cochran: It works either way.

Diana Barrie: I look as if I've been hit by a bus! A fully loaded, guided tour bus!

Diana Barrie: How many gin-and-tonics have you had?

Sidney Cochran: Three gins, one tonic.

Diana Barrie: [admonishingly] Catch up on the tonics. We don't want to be disgusting tonight, do we?

Sidney Cochran: [shouting] I am not an asshole!

Diana Barrie: I've just thrown up on some of the biggest people in Hollywood. Now is no time to be sensitive.