Detective Duffy Quotes in The Boondock Saints (1999)

Paul Smecker: These burns indicate that they used silencers. Look at these entry and exit wounds. They're almost identical. The two bullets went in here, through the top of the skull, criss-crossed, and exited through the eyeballs. This one clue tells us three distinct facts. Number one, Duffy?

Detective Duffy: They shot him at a downward angle... They put him on his knees?

Paul Smecker: Excellent! Number two, Greenly?

Detective Greenly: They... shot him at a downward angle?

Paul Smecker: It tells us he was the last to die. And number three, Dolly?

Detective Dolly: Uh... there was two shooters.

Paul Smecker: Fan-frigging-tastic.

[the other detectives start to object]

Paul Smecker: Stay with me, boys! What did they do to make two such identical wounds. Two men, of similar height, drop this guy down, each puts some iron to his head, and boom, that's all she freakin' wrote.

Detective Duffy: What about one guy, two guns?

Paul Smecker: Eh, possible, but unlikely. The angles are too extreme. A guy holding two guns to the back of your noodle is gonna shoot straight ahead. He wouldn't cock out his elbows, it makes no sense. Besides, are you telling me *one guy* came in here and killed eight men with eight extremely well-aimed shots in just a few seconds? No way. Had to be at least two.

Detective Duffy: This was their target, the fag-man.

Paul Smecker: The what-man?

[awkward pause]

Detective Duffy: The fat man.

Paul Smecker: Well. Freud was right.

Connor MacManus: Creative! It's a creative plan!

Murphy MacManus: It's ridiculous! Probably based on some stupid shit ya saw in a movie! And here I am AGAIN all tyin' myself up with ya stupid fuckin' rope! What is the deal with you and rope? Honestly!

Connor MacManus: It happens ta be a useful thing, now shut it!

Detective Duffy: You didn't get this from a movie, did you?

[Murphy stares at Connor]

Connor MacManus: The "Eiger Sanction" with Clint Eastwood! And it worked like a charm for him!

Murphy MacManus: I fuckin' knew!

Dolly: [as they stand watching Greenly pretend to examine a crime like Smecker did in the first movie, listening to "Sister Christian" on headphones and sing incredibly off-key] Why is...

Detective Duffy: [Cutting Dolly Off] I don't know.

Detective Greenly: We are totally fucked! Not just fucked, like elephant dick, pound in the ass, no reach-around, jungle fucked!

Detective Duffy: Now's not the time to panic, Green Beans!

Detective Greenly: I disagree! Now's the perfect time to panic! We are all accessories!

Dolly: Don't you fucking say it.

Detective Greenly: Oh, I'm gonna say it alright.

Detective Duffy: You've got to calm down. Just calm down, alright? Just calm...

Dolly: You've got a mouth, you know that?

Detective Duffy: Shut the fuck up!

Detective Duffy: Look! We need to figure out what we're gonna do when the boys show and start doing what they do best. 'Cause that's when the shit's really gonna hit the fan.

Dolly: But everyone is assuming that the boys are gonna turn up.We got no way of knowing that for sure

Detective Greenly: Yeah,that could totally happen.They could not come back.

Detective Duffy: What dream world did you two just slip into? We know the boys,Is there any part of you that thinks that they're just gonna let this slide? Believe this,they're either on their way or they're already here.

Detective Duffy: This is not good. She's gunnin' for the boys hard.

Dolly: This broad, trying to put a feather in her cap, is going to get us all locked up. I mean, this couldn't be going any worse.

Detective Duffy: Let's calm down.

Detective Greenly: Calm down? Calm down? You know they're going to throw us in the Hoag. We put half of those deranged sex freaks in there. I hope you guys like cock sandwiches, 'cause we'll be eating them for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.