Desk Sergeant Quotes in The Terminator (1984)

The Terminator: [while wearing sunglasses] I'm a friend of Sarah Connor. I was told she was here. Could I see her please?

Desk Sergeant: No, you can't see her she's making a statement.

The Terminator: Where is she?

Desk Sergeant: [uses his pencil to point to the bench] Look, it may take a while. Want to wait? There's a bench over there.

[points to bench]

The Terminator: [looks around, examining the structural integrity of the room, then looks back at him] I'll be back!

Desk Sergeant: [on seeing a boat in the middle of the street and Superman flying off] Mooney, first bottle's on me, let me get my hat.

Desk sergeant: Turn that thing off.

[points at the guys radio]

guy with radio: [without pausing] I'm listening to the weather report - why haven't you found my dog - he's vital to my income - he paints such marvelous pictures with his paws!

Desk Sergeant: We need an emergency service unit at The Roosevelt, 45th and Madison. Shut down the block, we got a man on a ledge.

Desk sergeant: Matt believed in the old saying "Shoot first, ask questions later."

Desk sergeant: They don't make cops like him anymore. He was one of a kind.

Frank McCrae: He still is.

Desk Sergeant: Calling all cars. Calling all cars. Be on the look out for... now listen to this: Dangerously and accomplices dressed as nuns driving a sedan covered with... oh you'll love this... duckies and bunnies.

Desk Sergeant: Calling all cars. Calling all cars. Come to Dooley's bar and grill. I'm buyin'.

Greta: He lays me then busts me.

Mitchell: Well, she asked me to.

Desk Sergeant: What, lay her or bust her?

Mitchell: Both!

Desk Sergeant: Before you go any further, pal, I gotta tell ya it's cash up front. A thousand bucks a day for a full investigation, another thou' if the assailant is caught. Do you understand?

Harry Canyon: Yeah. Hey, here's a dollar. Thanks for nothin'.

Desk Sergeant: Think you can do better?... Punk.

Desk sergeant: [referring to Serpico's moustache] You look like an asshole with dentures.

Gomez: [shouting] I demand justice! Someone has married my brother!

Desk sergeant: [sarcastically] No!

Gomez: She took him to Hawaii!

Desk sergeant: [cynically] Get outta here!

Gomez: They have moved into a large, expensive home, where they make love *constantly*!

Desk sergeant: I hate when that happens.

Gomez: Arrest her at once, without delay!

Desk sergeant: Who?

Gomez: Debbie. My brother's wife, the temptress of Waikiki!

Desk sergeant: Who are you? What are you? Who moved the rock?

Gomez: Officer, you must issue a subpoena. I believe they own...

Morticia: Gomez, NO!

Gomez: [shouting] A Buick!

[at the police station after asking to arrest Debbie]

Gomez: [shouting] Has the planet gone mad? My brother, passion's hostage. I seek justice - denied! I shall not submit! I shall conquer! I shall rise! My name is Gomez Addams, and I have seen evil!

[Grandma waves Pubert in the air]

Gomez: I have seen horror!

[Lurch waves]

Gomez: I have seen the unholy maggots which feast in the dark recesses of the human soul!

Morticia: They're at camp.

Gomez: I have seen all this, officer. But until today, I had never seen... *you*!

Desk sergeant: Hook him, book him, cook him. *Now*!

Desk Sergeant: [when the E.L.F.S. arrive to the police station to bust out Santa] Go home, kids. Visiting hours are over.

E.L.F.S. Leader: We're not kids, and we're not visiting.

Desk Sergeant: You better take his picture while he still has a face.

Desk Sergeant: What's your name?

Stanley: Stanley Laurel.

Desk Sergeant: Say "sir" when you're addressing me. Now what's your name?

Stanley: Sir Stanley Laurel. Ffffff!

Oliver: He can't help that sir, Its a loose tooth, sir.

Desk Sergeant: Yeah, well, we'll be seein' to that. What's your name?

Oliver: Oliver Norvell Hardy, sir.

Desk Sergeant: [Looking over his paperwork] A couple of beer barons, eh?

Slim: Hi, I have a friend whose husband beats her up.

Desk Sergeant: She should come in here and file a complaint. If there's physical evidence of the abuse on her part, we'll come out and arrest him.

Slim: And if he has money, he can bail himself out, right?

Desk Sergeant: That's correct.

Slim: And then he's free 'til it goes to trial?

Desk Sergeant: If it goes to trial. It's up to the district attorney whether to prosecute.

Slim: So... she comes in here, has him arrested, and... pisses him off, and there's no guarantee that he won't come after her?

Desk Sergeant: She could get a restraining order.

Slim: What's that? A little piece of paper that says he can't come around?

Desk Sergeant: [nods]

Slim: And when he comes around... what does she do? Throw it at him?

Desk Sergeant: She calls us.

Slim: [pauses] And what about the kid? Is the paper good for the kid, too?

Desk Sergeant: [looks concerned] There's a child involved?

Slim: Yeah.

Desk Sergeant: Well that's a matter for the family courts to decide, but unless she can prove he's a danger to the child, she cannot legally bar him access...

Slim: [walks out]

Desk Sergeant: ...Miss... Miss!

Howie: [sitting in police station waiting room] What if no one comes for me?

Desk Sergeant: [distracted] What?

Howie: What if no one comes for me?

Desk Sergeant: [smirks] I guess we'll have to put you in jail then.

[chuckles]

Desk Sergeant: [indicating Howie] Oh, this one's yours, huh?

Big John Harrigan: Don't wish that on me, it's my sister's kid, my nephew.

Desk Sergeant: Ah, man, if I'd have known we could have done something.

Big John Harrigan: Ah, that's alright, this kid's squeeky clean. Did they question him?

Desk Sergeant: No, not yet. They tried to contact the parents, but you can take him, you know.

Lt. John 'Mac' McCowsky: [Watching the sergeant's solitaire game] Hey, you're cheatin'! You've got a black queen on a black king!

Desk Sergeant: What are you kickin' about? They don't seem to mind.

Desk sergeant: You mean to say you got no identification at all?

Jack Burns: That's right.

Desk sergeant: No draft card, no social security, no discharge? No insurance, no driver's license, no nothing?

Jack Burns: No nothing.

Desk sergeant: Look, cowboy, you can't go around with no identication. It's against the law. How are people going to know who you are?

Jack Burns: I don't need a card to figure out who I am. I already know.

Desk Sergeant: Your pen, Doctor Hassler.

Doctor Hassler: Sorry, Sergeant.

[removes pen from pocket and hands to sergeant]

Doctor Hassler: (joking) Now my plan is ruined. You see, this is not a pen at all. It's a "secret camera".

Desk Sergeant: Better luck next time, Doctor.