Deputy Doofy Quotes in Scary Movie (2000)

Deputy Doofy: Mom said that when I wear this badge you're supposed to treat me like a man of the law.

Buffy Gilmore: Yeah, and Mom also said for you to stop sticking your dick in the vacuum cleaner!

Deputy Doofy: Special Officer Doofy reporting!

Policeman #1: Hey, Doofy! Smell my fingers!

Deputy Doofy: What's that?

Policeman #1: That's when you know you've become a man, Doofy.

Deputy Doofy: Hey, Terry! Smell my fingers!

Policeman #1: What the hell is that?

Deputy Doofy: My ass!

Gail Hailstorm: Is that drool?

Deputy Doofy: Yeah, I forgot to swallow.

Gail Hailstorm: Don't worry, because I never forget.

Gail Hailstorm: Isn't Cindy Campbell's father a suspect?

Sheriff: That is classified information, where did you get this?

Gail Hailstorm: Sorry, but my information is strictly confidential shit.

[Doofy steps out]

Deputy Doofy: Hi Gail... Gail swallows.

Deputy Doofy: I said, don't disturb me when I'm cleaning my room!

Deputy Doofy: I go poopie.

Sheriff: Did you just say you went "poopie"?

Deputy Doofy: Yeah, it was good.