Delores Quotes in Lethal Weapon 3 (1992)

Delores: You tell that man he's the jam in my jelly roll!

Baxter Thwaites: How can we maintain decorum if our spiritual leader is trying to put his hand up Miss Cascara's skirt?

Delores: You prefer he put his hand up my skirt?

Baxter Thwaites: Ar least you're used to it. You won't scream.

Delores: [out of breath, to Baxter] Bas... bas... bastard!

[last lines]

Baxter Thwaites: Smile, Sir Malcolm, as the cameras catch the dying moments of a British colony.

Sir Malcolm: Dying moments of my career, you mean. Thanks to this disaterous episode the Right Honourable Margaret Thatcher is going to have my balls.

Delores: Okay honey, stop this screwing around! I want to leave now!

Baxter Thwaites: And if she doesn't, Sir Malcolm, Delores cretainly will.

Delores: Do you remember "Ernesto & Delores?" I was Delores!

Baxter Thwaites: I'm sure he didn't think you were Ernesto, darling.

Delores: [prays] Bless us, oh Lord, for these Thy gifts which we are about to receive. And yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of no food, I will fear no hunger. We want you to give us this day, our daily bread. And to the republic for which it stands, and by the power invested in me, I pronounce us ready to eat. Amen.

[at the end of her song at the Moonlight Lounge]

Delores: Good night, ladies and gentlemen!

Michelle, Tina: [singing] Heat wave!

Delores: You don't give a shit.

Michelle, Tina: [singing] Heat wave!

Delores: Let's get the hell outta here.

Michelle, Tina: [singing] Heat wave!

[the song ends and only two people applaud]

Reverend Mother: Girl groups? Boogie-woogie on the piano? What were you thinking?

Delores: I was thinkin' more like Vegas, y'know, get some butts in the seats.

Reverend Mother: And what next? Popcorn? Curtain calls? This is not a theater or a casino.

Delores: Yeah, but that's the problem. See, people like going to theaters, and they like going to casinos, but they don't like coming to church. Why? Because it's a drag. But we could change all that, see? We could pack this joint.

Reverend Mother: Through blasphemy? You have corrupted the entire choir!

[in the hall, Monsignor O'Hara enters]

Monsignor O'Hara: Excuse me.

[he listens to the argument between Delores and Reverend Mother]

Delores: How can you say that? I worked my butt off with these women! They've given up their free time to do this, and they're GOOD! I mean, sister, we could, we could ROCK this place!

Reverend Mother: OUT of the question! As of tomorrow, Mary Lazarus resumes her leadership of the choir.

[Monsignor knocks on the door]

Reverend Mother: COME IN!

Willy: What is she doin'?

Joey: Oh, my God. She's prayin'.

Delores: Lord, I want you to forgive Willy and Joey, because they know not what they do. They're only doin' what Vince told 'em to do, because Vince is too chicken to do it himself! So he's called upon these 2 men to take care of his business! So I want you to forgive them, Lord. Espectum, espertum, cacoomb, toutu, eplubium. Amen!

Willy, Joey: Amen.

[Delores whacks them in their crotches and darts off]

Eddie: Where are you going?

Delores: I'm going to the little nun's room, nosy!

Delores: [after putting on the habit] Oh, no! No, no, no! I can't do this. I'm sorry. This is fine for covering a little bulge, but now I've got holster hips!

Reverend Mother: People wish to kill you. Anyone who's met you I imagine. A disguise is necessary to protect us all. While you are here, you will conduct yourself as a nun. Only I will know who and what you truly are. You will draw no attention to yourself whatsoever.

Delores: But look at me! I'm a nun! I'm a - I'm a penguin!

Reverend Mother: As from now and until you leave, you are Sister Mary Clarence.

Delores: Mary Clarence? Like Clarence Williams III from The Mod Squad?

Reverend Mother: Mary is in deference to our Holy Mother. The Clarence is in honor of Saint Clarence of Concordia. There are 3 vows every nun must accept: The vow of poverty.

Delores: Mmm.

Reverend Mother: The vow of obedience.

Delores: Mm-Hmm.

Reverend Mother: And the vow of chastity.

Delores: I am outta here with that.

Eddie: Deloris, look. Vince knows you're here. We gotta get out now.

Delores: Oh, but I can't go. We're singin' for the Pope tomorrow.

Eddie: Listen! You gonna be singin' for St. Peter if you don't get your ass outta here now!

Eddie: Nice church, huh?

Delores: Yes, very nice. Look, what am I gonna be? Quasimodo in the belfry? What is this?

Eddie: I want you to stay here for a while.

Delores: Where?

Eddie: In the convent. It's the safest place in the world. You think Vince is gonna look for you in a convent?

Delores: Wh... in the what?

Eddie: The convent.

Delores: You must be out of your... You know what? I'm gonna go back and work this out with Vince. You're a lunatic! I'm not gonna be in no damn convent with these people. These people don't even have sex!

Delores: [at her first choir rehearsal, the choir sings a chord badly with Mary Patrick singing an octave above everyone else] Okay! Okay! Okay! Very nice!

[to Mary Patrick]

Delores: Um, Sister, can you just slide over here, please? That's a powerful instrument you have there!

Sister Mary Patrick: Thank you.

Delores: But I think it's probably a good idea if we bring you down out of the rafters, everybody wants to be close to God, I'm just not sure you can do it vocally, so I need you to sing an octave below where you've been singing.

Sister Mary Patrick: Okey-dokey!

Delores: And Sister Mary Robert, can you just come, yeah, come on over. I noticed that you're moving your mouth but nothing's coming out so I'd like to hear just you by yourself if you don't mind. Sister Alma, can you give me an A please?

[pause]

Delores: ALMA! Check your battery. Can you give me an A please.

[Mary Robert sings in a whisper]

Delores: Okay, try this. Close your eyes. Visualize yourself in room full of people, lots of silverware, people talking loud, dropping stuff, drunks, women with trays going 'whadda ya gonna have?'. Your voice has to carry across the din, you have to get up over all of that to be heard in the back of the room where I'm sitting, listening, straining to hear you. Okay? Keep that in your mind while we do this.

Sister Mary Patrick: I can't believe the Pope is coming! This is better than ice cream!

Sister Mary Robert: It's better than springtime!

Delores: It's better than sex! No, I mean - I've heard.

Delores: Are you looking for me?

Eddie: How come I saw you on TV?

Delores: That was not my fault, these people just showed up, but it's been really good for the convent.

Eddie: Listen to yourself! This is not a career move!

Delores: You don't have to tell me that. This would not be the place to begin a career.

Eddie: You're supposed to be hiding out. Bullets flying through the air at you? Sound familiar?

Delores: Yes, but I can't talk about it now because I have a show in 5 minutes.

Eddie: Just promise me I won't see you on the Letterman Show.

Delores: Okay.

Delores: Ugh! Ugh! Gee, what are you people? A Pridikin order? This stuff is terrible! it tastes like shh...

Reverend Mother: Sisters, we shall spend the rest of the day in silence.

Delores: Well, why?

Reverend Mother: Only when we are silent may our prayers TRULY be answered.

Delores: Then you don't have to eat this food!

Reverend Mother: [bangs on table] Silence begins now... And ends at sundown.

Delores: How can you eat this stuff? It's terrible!

Reverend Mother: [exasperated] Mary Clarence, I think you might enjoy a ritual fast.

Delores: A ritual f...? No. No, no. I don't think I would. I'll put a little salt in it, and it'll be fine. Look, I'm gonna... Somebody pass me the salt over there.

Reverend Mother: A fast. To remind you of those who have to endure without food.

Delores: [as a nun goes to take her plate, she grabs onto it] No, I don't want you to... I don't want you to take my plate!

[slumps as her plate is taken away]

Reverend Mother: And silence!

Delores: What are you gonna do? Stick me in a bag and bury me? Forget it!

Delores: What am I gonna do here? I'm gonna go crazy! There's nothing but a lot of white women dressed as nuns! What am I gonna do here?

Eddie: Pray.

Delores: Pray?

Delores: [after Vince has sent Delores a purple mink coat] Well obviously Mr. LaRocca feels he can win me back by sending me this absolutely *fabulous* coat.

Michelle: Put it on, put it on!

Tina: It's beautiful.

Delores: You see, some girls would fall for this but not me. I think I'll make him wait a while before I let him know that I...

Michelle: What?

Delores: [Showing a monogram stitched into the inside of the coat] Connie LaRocca. It's his wife's coat. The man gave me his wife's coat.

Michelle: I don't believe this.

Tina: Put it back on! It's yours now, you deserve it.

Delores: No, I don't *deserve* it, I haven't *earned* it. You don't *earn* other peoples wife's fur coats, okay? I think it's time to just go upstairs, give it back to him and get the hell out of this dump.

Delores: You still haven't told me what she said?

Vince: What who said?

Delores: What who said. The one with the moustache, the one you're married to.

Vince: You are so damn hot.

Delores: And you are so full of it. You didn't tell her, did you? I knew it. I knew you weren't gonna tell her. I knew it.

Tina: What's gonna happen to the act?

Delores: What do you mean "what's gonna happen to the act"? You're gonna get somebody else, it's not a big loss.

Tina: But you pick all the music, you tell us where to stand and everything.

Delores: Yeah, I'm a real genius, I'm a real genius and that's why we're packing 'em in and don't you pack any more of my make-up in that bag, don't think I don't see what you're doing.

Eddie: Mrs. Van Cartier? You're Vince LaRocca's girlfriend, right?

Delores: Well you could... sort of... maybe... it depends on how you look at it! I mean, the guy just tried to kill me so I don't think that cements our relationship!

Eddie: You realize he's a major underworld figure, don't you?

Det. Clarkson: He's into drug dealing, money laundering.

Det. Tate: We've been investigating Mr. LaRocca for the last 18 months. We've got videotapes, surveillance photos...

Delores: Am I... am I in any of the... videotapes?

Det. Tate: No, no, no, criminal activity.

Joe Devine: Delores, I have these presents I wanna give to Sasha. Where is she?

Delores: I'm sorry, sir. Your dog is dead. She killed herself.

Joe Devine: What?

Delores: The Jacuzzi. She threw herself into the Jacuzzi. I tried to find you. It was horrible.

Joe Devine: Oh, no. Maybe she fell in.

Delores: Oh, there was a witness. Alejandro, the gardener's son. It was suicide.

Joe Devine: Suicide?

Delores: She was lonely. She couldn't stand it any more.

Joe Devine: Then why the fuck didn't you go outside and play with her? Throw the little red ball with her?

Delores: I'm sorry, Mr Devine. I know you loved that dog. On Tuesday, she dug up all the flowers and then took a dump in the kitchen. I believe that was her note.

Delores: Feel the marshmallow.

Sam Callahan: I knew where to go in, I think, but it wouldn't go. I must be too big.

Delores: [laughs] Nobody's TOO big.

Lydia Callahan: The timed mastery of a horse is nothing more than competitive sex, proof that man can subjugate anythin' wild and beautiful once he gets it between his legs.

Delores: What gets me is they want a belt buckle for lastin' eight seconds.

Victor: Can't you be nicer to her?

Delores: Nice? Did you hear what she said to me?

Victor: You don't have to be nice... just nicer.

Effie: [Effie comes in and hears a hallway door close] Delores? Is that you?

Delores: Yeah, Mama.

[coming in the front room with a suitcase]

Effie: Where you going?

Delores: I'm leaving, Mama.

Effie: You're leaving for where?

Delores: I'm leaving and I'm going away.

Effie: What do you mean?

Delores: I mean... I can't live like this anymore, Mama. I gotta find another way.

Effie: Well, whatever troubles you got here

[crossing to the living room and taking off her coat]

Effie: are going right with you and that suitcase.

[she sits on the couch ]

Delores: You don't understand, Mama.

[sets down her suitcase]

Delores: Like, there's education like there never was before. Mama, we don't have to slaves to the white establishment anymore.

[Effie gets up and starts straightening up the room]

Delores: We don't have to live off what the white man throws our way. Thanking him for his chicken-shit pay and chicken-shit jobs. We don't have to run around shining his shoes and driving his cars and cleaning his floors and being his ma - ...

Effie: [facing Delores] Go on, now, say it. Being their maid. Hmm?

Delores: Yeah, Mama. Being their maid.

[near tears]

Delores: Mama, I seen you, ever since I was a little kid, getting up in the middle of the night to take the subway to ride for two hours to go to their house, to do their cooking and to do their ironing and do their cleaning and wash the shit out of their toilet. And for what, Mama? For WHAT?

[Delores picks up her suitcase and heads for the door]

Delores: Bye.

Delores: We're old enough to iron for ourselves. You ain't our maid.

Effie: I always iron clothes for the ones that I love.

Delores: I suppose you love them crackers that you work for?

Effie: You watch your mouth. Now, go get your homework before I give you a sign in a place you won't forget.