Dell Quotes in D.C. Cab (1983)

Dell: Why are women are so uptight? They've got half the money and all the pussy.

Dell: If I wanted responsibility I woulda been a damn sex surrogate!

Dell: I don't work January the 8th, 'cause it's Elvis' birthday.

[imitates Elvis]

Dell: Oh hunh-hunh!

Dell: Bruce Lee ain't dead you know. They got him krytonized down in Chatsworth, he's jammed in a silo and he's frozen hard as a carp . And they're gonna melt him down as soon as the economy gets better.

Dell: Heck nobody goes in the army any more, except blacks. Someday one nigger's gonna wakeup and say, "We got the guns and the mustard gas and the tanks, hey were runnin the army!" And they're gonna take over the whole damn country and we'll be in with them already - we'll be Token Whites. Think about it.

FBI Chief: Did Albert ever discuss his political convictions with you?

Dell: Albert don't have no political convictions. He's an American!

Dell: [to Tyrone and Albert] Listen, let me tell you something. You're lucky those porkchops didn't shoot you and say you're crazed on PCP, 'cause that's what they always say about everybody they shoot. And I think they're lacing the bullets with PCP, that way they got an alibi for killing everybody. Now think about it.

Dell: I feel like I'm in the wrong world.

Dell: 'Cause I don't belong in a world where we don't end up together. I don't.

Dell: There are parallel universes out there where this didn't happen.

Dell: Where I was with you, and you were with me.

Dell: And whatever universe that is that's the one where my heart lives in.

Dell: Why does it feel so impossible to let you go?

Dell: It's an addiction, you know. That's all it is.

Dell: It's a biochemical addiction. It's so stupid.

Dell: If you think about it relationships are all totally narcissistic.

Dell: Basically, you're just looking for someone who'll love you as much as you love yourself. That's all it is.

Dell: I never thought love was real, now I think life isn't real without it

Kimberly: What do you want to tell me, Dell?

Dell: Kimberly... I used to find it really annoying you said 'so' all the time. Bugged the shit out of me. And I... I love it. I love it now. After we have sex and you shrug your shoulders and you say 'I'm here all week!,' - love that. I love that a single strand of your hair can fall so perfectly to the side and you don't even know. I love the little blue veins behind your eyes. I love your eyes. Knowing you goes down as easily the best thing that's ever happened to me. Easily. If I were a restaurant, you'd be my special, but nobody could order you, 'cause I'd just want you to be mine, just all mine. Not in, like, a biblical slavery-owning sense, or a pimp-prostitute dynamic of "you be mine, bitch," but... but just in that... you're my love. You're my love. But my favorite thing of all: I like you 'cause you like me. I don't know - I think that says a lot about how great you are as a person. So, um...

Kimberly: Dell... Believe me. Believe me when I say, you almost had me.

Kimberly: See? This is why I hate time. I can't enjoy my sesame chicken because of that.

Dell: Kim.

Kimberly: I wish I could just... stop it or something. Or at least just make it pause when needed, like now. Really, I'd just get of it altogether.

Dell: You want get rid of time? How would you do that?

Kimberly: You know how there's time-based art? Movies, music, plays- it's all time-based art. There's a beginning and a middle and an end. and you have to see it from beginning to end. You're restrained to that time line, that way of experiencing it. But then there's paintings, no beginning, no middle, no end. You see what you want to see when you want to see it. No restrictions. It's just there.

Dell: I'm not gonna ask you out because I don't believe in love.

Dell: I think all relationships deteriorate into hate indifference or... Well, yeah, those two things.

Kimberly: My parents have been together for 32 years. And they're happily in love.

Dell: No, they're not.

Kimberly: Yes, they are.

Dell: No, they're not.

Dell: If they haven't divorced by now probably means they've just surrendered to the fact that being apart isn't much better than being together.

Dell: You know, the lesser of two evils.

Dell: Trust me, it's like an emotional holocaust between your parents right now.

Dell: They probably have lukewarm feelings about you too.

Stephanie: Is there something wrong with you?

Dell: Probably, yeah.

Dell: You know the ending.

Kimberly: Sometimes it's not about knowing the ending.

Kimberly: You don't deserve me. I can tell.

Dell: That's perfect. I want someone I don't deserve.

Kimberly: I should get back to my date. He's probably...

Dell: But I just wanna keep talking to you.

Kimberly: What?

Dell: I wanna keep talking to you for multiple reasons. I mean, you're beautiful, but it's more than that. I promise.

Kimberly: That's very nice, but I should go. Maybe I'll see you in the winter when you're a C plus.

Dell: See? I knew it. I knew you were superficial. I told you.

Kimberly: The only reason that you're talking to me is because you think I'm hot.

Dell: Yeah, but the only reason why you won't is because you think I'm not.

Kimberly: Fine. Give me a reason why I should?

Dell: I was saying, "Don't miss her. " Earlier, when you saw me talking to myself. I was saying, "Don't miss her. " I'm always so afraid I'm gonna miss the important things in life. Something about you has given me a heightened curiosity to know you better. And that is a near impossible feat when it comes to me because I hate getting to know people. But I can tell you're not like the others.

Kimberly: What others?

Dell: People.

Kimberly: People? You can tell I'm not a person?

Dell: Yeah, you're not phony like them. Also, I didn't say you were hot. I said you are beautiful.

Dell: I wanna talk.

Kimberly: What if something *good* happens 5 minutes from now? Can't that happen?

Dell: No.

Kimberly: What did you think was gonna happen 5 minutes before you met me?

Kimberly: Well, I was just trying to get mine over with.

Dell: Get what over who?

Kimberly: My lie to you.

Dell: You can't.

Kimberly: Why can't?

Dell: Because I saw it coming, because we just talked about it. You've got to wait until I'm in a completely vulnerable position where I'd really fall for it.

Kimberly: That sounds really dangerous.

Dell: Oh, yeah, that's the problem with relationships.

Kimberly: Danger?

Dell: Or worse.

Kimberly: Worse?

Dell: You could change the other person.

Kimberly: You're a very broken man, Dell.

Dell: In theory.

Kimberly: Can I please get off the phone with you and not feel like shit...

Dell: You hurt me! You really hurt me this time, Kimberly... I wanna break up with you. I don't love you.

Kimberly: Dell, that's not what you want to say...

Dell: That is what I want to say actually. I don't... I don't love you, Kimberly. Honestly, I don't know if I ever really did. And you definitely didn't. If you're capable of making choices that knowingly hurts the other person, that's not love.

Kimberly: Okay, you're mad, you're mad... How can you say that?

Dell: Reality is I could have met any number of girls to be with for a few years. That was your lie. Alright? Texting Jack behind my back. It came when I least expected it. I fell for it hook, line and sinker and it fucking hurts. That was your lie. Bravo.

Kimberly: Okay, fine. You wanna hurt me? You wanna be right? Fine, go ahead. Be right.

Dell: All I ever wanted was the truth.

Kimberly: No, no, you wanna be right. No. Truth is not what you're after. Because if you wanted the truth, then you would have to accept the fact that I do...

Kimberly: You are a very broken man, Dell.

Dell: In theory. Speaking of broken man, your goteed philistine is sashaying toward us.

Kimberly: Run!

Dell: What?

Kimberly: Run!

Dell: What?

Kimberly: Run!

[first lines]

Dell: [repeating multiple times] This is not a dream.

Dell: Whenever anybody emails me hugs and kisses, I wanna just email them back oral and penetration.

Dell: You're a now person.

Kimberly: True.

Dell: Yeah, see, I'm a 5-minutes-from-now person. Because 5 minutes from now, a gust of wind could come in and blow H1N1 in everyone's eyes.

Kimberly: Right. Except that's highly unlikely.

Dell: Or 5 minutes from now, an earthquake could erupt and swallow us all whole.

Kimberly: Right. Except that... No, shit, that could actually happen.

Dell: Yeah. The point is I'm way too anxious about what could happen 5 minutes from now to be content with now. Can't do it.

Kimberly: What if something good happens 5 minutes from now? Can't that happen?

Dell: No.

Kimberly: What did you think was gonna happen 5 minutes before you met me?

Dell: I'm just really paranoid I'm gonna miss it. I miss things a lot.

Kimberly: I don't care if I miss it because...

Dell: You're a now person. Got it. So another weird thing. I don't mind your pessimism as much as I usually mind pessimism.

Kimberly: That's great. I hate people who think I'm too negative.

Kimberly: Also, I like your hat.

Dell: Yeah, I'm probably gonna fall in love with you.

Kimberly: Wow.

Dell: I'm saying I dreamt a bunch of conversations, including this one which led me to come here, because it made me think about how much I regretted...

Kimberly: Do you regret meeting me, Dell?

Dell: No, of course not.

Kimberly: I'm glad we dated. I needed to date you. Before you, I only dated guys that looked good on paper.

Dell: Yeah. Wait, what?

Kimberly: You were really, really smart, but also selfish, crass... Not always in an entertaining way, mind you. You hated your job and life and you were completely comfortable being miserable. You're horrible on paper. And I loved you. Being with you made me realize it... Doesn't have to look good on paper to feel good.

Dell: Something's wrong. I know it, Kimberly, I know you. You have circles under your eyes. You were the type of girl that could sleep through wars. And despite that, you're still looking so beautiful. More beautiful than ever, in fact. It's usually a sign you wanna remind the world that you're a sexual being because your man's not picking up the signal. You've checked out of this relationship, haven't you? You're not happy. Also, you're listening to Roxette. I know that means the beginning of the end. And let's get real for a second about the ring, alright. You're not having it sized. I'm sure you had your ring-size burned into Jack's memory years ago. Fuck, I still remember it, 4.5. You didn't wear the ring because you didn't want me to see it. Don't marry him, okay. I want you back. I know you want me back too. That's why I'm here. That's what you've been wanting to say to me this whole time...

Kimberly: -Dell.

Dell: -What?

Kimberly: I'm pregnant.

Dell: What?

Kimberly: Morning sickness has been keeping me up. I just really love Roxette. And I dressed this way not to announce to the world anything. It was you. I wanted to look good for you. Because no matter how bad our relationship got I wanted to say thank you from the bottom of my heart for it. Because I needed it. I needed you in this life. That's what I wanted to say.

Dell: I gotta... I gotta sit down.

Kimberly: I'm sorry.

Dell: I'm not leaving Jack.

Kimberly: I love him.

Dell: Wow. You're pregnant.

Dell: Why does it feel so impossible to let you go? It's an addiction, you know. That's all it is. It's a biochemical addiction. It's so stupid. If you think about it relationships are all totally narcissistic. Basically, you're just looking for someone who'll love you as much as you love yourself. That's all it is.

Kimberly: -No, it's not.

Dell: -Yes, it is.

Kimberly: No, it's not. No, it's not.

Dell: I don't know anything anymore. But I know I do love you.

Kimberly: I'm seeing a guy, Jack.

Dell: You're seeing a Jack?

Kimberly: He's an executive at MTV. Looks like a cross between Salvador Dali and Dwayne Wayne from "a different world", which is hot.

Dell: It's a weird combination.

Dell: I should know that I'm a C, may be a C+ in the winter time when I can cover up my body more. And even though you're a douchebag, you're still incredibly attractive. So, maybe it's only fair, you two pair.

Kimberly: [laughs]

[Josh gives her the looks]

Kimberly: [to Josh] What? It rhymed!

[After an extended kiss]

Dell: That's why I keep her around.

Dell: Come on chicken shit. I'll shove that karate stuff up your ass!

Harcourt: You don't own that property.

Dell: Ok, who owns the land than old man? You, maybe?

Harcourt: [after a long pause] The Dead.