Delaney Quotes in Zack and Miri Make a Porno (2008)
Delaney Quotes:
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[Zack and Delaney are having a conversation]
Customer: Hi, can I have a coffee? Black?
Delaney: Can't you see we talking, White?
-- Delaney -
Delaney: What? Han Solo ain't never had no sex with Princess Leia in the Star War!
-- Delaney -
Zack Brown: I've known her since the first grade, you don't fuck someone you met in the first grade.
Delaney: Excuse me, I met my wife in kindergarten, we got married senior year, and she's been the queen of my world ever since.
Zack Brown: But what if you could do it all over again?
Delaney: I would jerk off and live by myself. That woman is the bane of my existence.
-- Delaney -
Delaney: Her name Bubbles.
-- Delaney -
Zack Brown: Dude, with your cut of the profits, you're gonna get two flat screens. OK? You'll have one in your living room. You'll have one in your bathroom!
Delaney: One in the bathroom? You know, it's always been my dream to watch shit while I shit.
Zack Brown: Everyone with an ass loves to watch shit while they shit! I'm gonna make that happen for you, man.
-- Delaney -
Zack Brown: This is just the beginning, guys. If Star Whores works and *it will*, we are set up for sequels galore. The Empire Strikes Ass.
Miriam Linky: Return of the Brown Eye.
Deacon: The Phantom Man Ass.
Delaney: And Revenge of the Shit: The All Anal Final Chapter.
[awkward silence]
Zack Brown: ...okay.
Delaney: Revenge of the Shit, you got it?
Miriam Linky: No, yeah we got it.
Stacey: Ew.
Delaney: [under his breath] Fuck you, mothafuckas.
-- Delaney -
Delaney: Sometimes, we just need someone to show us something we can't see for ourselves.
-- Delaney -
Delaney: [after Zack leaving the set] Can you believe this shit?
Deacon: [after Stacy accidentally shits all over his face] Can you believe THIS shit? That chick frosted me like I was a fucking cake!
-- Delaney -
Delaney: I love the movies.
-- Delaney -
Delaney: [to Mr. Surya] You Ben Kingsley looking motherfucker
-- Delaney -
Zack: You, my friend, are the lead role of Lubed Guy-Baller.
Delaney: Man, he's gonna be balling dudes? I thought you said this was boys on girls.
Lester: If I have to fuck a guy, okay, but I'd rather fuck a girl.
Delaney: What's wrong with you, boy?
-- Delaney
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