Delaney Quotes in Zack and Miri Make a Porno (2008)

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Delaney Quotes:

  • [Zack and Delaney are having a conversation]

    Customer: Hi, can I have a coffee? Black?

    Delaney: Can't you see we talking, White?

  • Delaney: What? Han Solo ain't never had no sex with Princess Leia in the Star War!

  • Zack Brown: I've known her since the first grade, you don't fuck someone you met in the first grade.

    Delaney: Excuse me, I met my wife in kindergarten, we got married senior year, and she's been the queen of my world ever since.

    Zack Brown: But what if you could do it all over again?

    Delaney: I would jerk off and live by myself. That woman is the bane of my existence.

  • Delaney: Her name Bubbles.

  • Zack Brown: Dude, with your cut of the profits, you're gonna get two flat screens. OK? You'll have one in your living room. You'll have one in your bathroom!

    Delaney: One in the bathroom? You know, it's always been my dream to watch shit while I shit.

    Zack Brown: Everyone with an ass loves to watch shit while they shit! I'm gonna make that happen for you, man.

  • Zack Brown: This is just the beginning, guys. If Star Whores works and *it will*, we are set up for sequels galore. The Empire Strikes Ass.

    Miriam Linky: Return of the Brown Eye.

    Deacon: The Phantom Man Ass.

    Delaney: And Revenge of the Shit: The All Anal Final Chapter.

    [awkward silence]

    Zack Brown: ...okay.

    Delaney: Revenge of the Shit, you got it?

    Miriam Linky: No, yeah we got it.

    Stacey: Ew.

    Delaney: [under his breath] Fuck you, mothafuckas.

  • Delaney: Sometimes, we just need someone to show us something we can't see for ourselves.

  • Delaney: [after Zack leaving the set] Can you believe this shit?

    Deacon: [after Stacy accidentally shits all over his face] Can you believe THIS shit? That chick frosted me like I was a fucking cake!

  • Delaney: I love the movies.

  • Delaney: [to Mr. Surya] You Ben Kingsley looking motherfucker

  • Zack: You, my friend, are the lead role of Lubed Guy-Baller.

    Delaney: Man, he's gonna be balling dudes? I thought you said this was boys on girls.

    Lester: If I have to fuck a guy, okay, but I'd rather fuck a girl.

    Delaney: What's wrong with you, boy?

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Characters on Zack and Miri Make a Porno (2008)