Del Preston Quotes in Wayne's World 2 (1993)

Del Preston: So there I am, in Sri Lanka, formerly Ceylon, at about 3 o'clock in the morning, looking for one thousand brown M&Ms to fill a brandy glass, or Ozzy wouldn't go on stage that night. So, Jeff Beck pops his head 'round the door, and mentions there's a little sweets shop on the edge of town. So - we go. And - it's closed. So there's me, and Keith Moon, and David Crosby, breaking into that little sweets shop, eh. Well, instead of a guard dog, they've got this bloody great big Bengal tiger. I managed to take out the tiger with a can of mace, but the shopowner and his son... that's a different story altogether. I had to beat them to death with their own shoes. Nasty business, really. But, sure enough, I got the M&Ms, and Ozzy went on stage and did a great show.

Garth: How can you sleep like that?

Del Preston: Listen, sonny Jim. Sleeping like this will add ten years to your life. I learned it from Keith Richards when I toured with the Stones. This may be the reason why Keith cannot be killed by conventional weapons.

Del Preston: Alright, ladies and gentlemen. It takes two people to run a concert: one back stage, and one out front. One man alone cannot do this. Wayne, you will run the backstage team. Milton, you are my liaison between Wayne's backstage team and Garth's front-stage team which includes myself in the booth. To the left and right of the stage are machine-gun pillboxes, M-60 Browning. Now these babies tend to heat up so shoot in 3 second bursts. In the event of capture I will personally distribute these cyanide capsules to be placed under the tongue like so.

[Places a capsule in his mouth]

Del Preston: Any questions?

Garth: Yes, I have a question. When did you turn into a nutbar?

Del Preston: Did he have a naked Indian?

Wayne: Yes.

Garth: Wow.

Del Preston: I have to ask, didn't you think it was a trifle unnecessary to see the crack in the indians bottom.

Wayne: Yes, absolutely

Del Preston: I had the same dream.

Del Preston: Woodstock? That was quite a show, man.

Garth: You were at Woodstock?

Wayne: Excellent! What was it like?

Del Preston: It rained all morning, and then it cleared up in the afternoon. And that's it, I almost remembered something else, but it's gone.

Garth: Wow. Look at this scrapbook.

Wayne: Wow!

Garth: That's you with Led Zeppelin.

Del Preston: Yeh. My old lady put that together. We must've toured every concert hall and venue in America. Me, my old lady, and the road.

Wayne: Is that you and Bob Dylan? Who's that old lady?

Del Preston: That's my old lady.