Debbie Jellinsky Quotes in Addams Family Values (1993)

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Debbie Jellinsky Quotes:

  • Morticia: [confronting Debbie in her house] You have gone too far. You have married Fester, you have destroyed his spirit, you have taken him from us. All that I could forgive. But Debbie...

    Debbie Jellinsky: What?

    Morticia: ...pastels?

  • Debbie Jellinsky: I don't wanna hurt anybody. I don't enjoy hurting anybody. I don't like guns, or bombs, or electric chairs. But sometimes people just won't listen. And so, I have to use persuasion. And slides.

    [Showing slide pictures]

    Debbie Jellinsky: My parents, Sharon and Dave. Generous, doting, or *were they*? All I ever wanted was a Ballerina Barbie. In her pretty pink tutu. My birthday.

    [the slide shows her as a child, smiling and opening a gift]

    Debbie Jellinsky: I was 10, and do you know what they got me? *Malibu* Barbie.

    Morticia: Malibu Barbie.

    Gomez: The nightmare.

    Morticia: The nerve.

    Debbie Jellinsky: [flicks to the next slide of her throwing a bared-teeth temper tantrum] That's not what I wanted! That's not who I was. I was a *ballerina*, graceful, delicate! They had to go.

    [the next slide shot shows a burning house]

  • Debbie Jellinsky: So I-I killed. So I maimed. So I destroyed one innocent life after another. Aren't I a human being? Don't I yearn, and ache, and shop? Don't I deserve love... and jewelry?

  • Debbie Jellinsky: Would you die for me?

    Uncle Fester: Yes.

    Debbie Jellinsky: Promise?

  • [Grandma waves a skull at Debbie]

    Grandma: Luxor, nexor, burst and BURN!

    Debbie Jellinsky: What is she doing?

    Grandma: Just a curse. Have a nice day.

    [air kiss]

  • Debbie Jellinsky: FREEZE!

    Uncle Fester: Pookie?

    Debbie Jellinsky: I tried to make it look like an accident. I tried to give you some dignity. But oh no, not you.

    Uncle Fester: What are you saying?

    Debbie Jellinsky: I'm saying I want you dead and I want your money.

    Uncle Fester: But... but... don't you love me?

    Debbie Jellinsky: AH HA HA HA!

    Uncle Fester: Is that a no?

  • Uncle Fester: I'm her husband.

    Debbie Jellinsky: Fester!

    Uncle Fester: Gimme a kiss.

    Debbie Jellinsky: Gimme a twenty.

  • Debbie Jellinsky: And I dreamed that when I met him that we would wait until our wedding night to give ourselves to one another, to make the ultimate sacrifice.

    Uncle Fester: A goat?

  • Debbie Jellinsky: My first husband, the heart surgeon. All day long, coronaries, transplants.

    Grandma: What about your needs?

    Debbie Jellinsky: "Sorry about dinner, Deb. The Pope has a cold."

    [the next slide shows a shadow of an axe on the wall heading towards the Surgeon]

    Grandma: An axe! That takes me back.

  • Debbie Jellinsky: My latest husband, my late husband, Fester.

    Uncle Fester: The fool.

    Debbie Jellinsky: The corpse. And his adorable family. You took me in, you accepted me, but did any of you love me? Really love me?

    Gomez: Hands!

    [the Addams family, all strapped into their electric chairs, are unable to raise their hands]

  • Debbie Jellinsky: These Addams men, where do you find them?

    Morticia: It has to be damp.

  • Debbie Jellinsky: I just can't tell, does he like me at all?

    Morticia: Of course he does. He vomited.

    Debbie Jellinsky: That's true. Does he always do that with women he likes?

    Morticia: Oh, no. Just you.

  • Debbie Jellinsky: You know, when I first saw him, I thought he was from Europe.

    Uncle Fester: You did?

    Debbie Jellinsky: It's true.

    Uncle Fester: But, I took a bath.

  • Debbie Jellinsky: Husband number two. The senator. He loved his state, he loved his country!

    Grandma: What about Debbie?

    Debbie Jellinsky: "Sorry Debbie, no Mercedes this year. We have to set an example." Oh yeah? Set this!

    [the next slide shows car headlights heading towards the Senator in panic]

  • Debbie Jellinsky: [meeting Gomez] Isn't he a lady killer!

    Gomez: Acquitted.

  • Debbie Jellinsky: Yes, I need to renew my passport. I'll be leaving the country very shortly.

    Passport Clerk: Will you be traveling alone?

    Debbie Jellinsky: Yes, I'll be a widow.

  • Margaret Addams: What.

    Debbie Jellinsky: Oh, I didn't say anything.

    Margaret Addams: No, that's the baby's nickname, "What." From the obstetrician.

  • Uncle Fester: [as they are getting married, Fester tearfully recites his vows] I, Fester Addams, do hereby declare my un-ending love.

    [sobbing]

    Uncle Fester: I will worship you forever. I will devote my every waking moment to your happiness alone.

    [openly sobbing]

    Uncle Fester: Henceforth, I am your eternal and helpless slave.

    Debbie Jellinsky: [near indifferent] Nice.

    [to Cousin Itt, who acts as minister]

    Debbie Jellinsky: Ditto.

  • Morticia: [Thing hops on Debbie's shoulder] Thing, stop that.

    Gomez: He likes you.

    Debbie Jellinsky: [Debbie sucks on Thing's index finger; he shudders and falls off] I'm good with my hands.

  • Morticia: Good night, Debbie.

    Debbie Jellinsky: Good night.

    Morticia: Scream if you need anything.

  • Debbie Jellinsky: [to Pubert] Hold still, you little brat!

    Wednesday: He's not a brat.

    Debbie Jellinsky: [whirls around, caught] Of course not. He's an adorable little baby.

    Wednesday: Fine. Rub it in!

  • Debbie Jellinsky: [to Fester and Thing] I'll get you - and your little hand, too!

  • Debbie Jellinsky: But with your looks, your charm... women must follow you everywhere!

    Uncle Fester: Store detectives.

  • Debbie Jellinsky: Good-bye everybody! Wish me luck!

    The Addams Family: Good luck!

  • [after Fester walks off the plane, with leis around his neck, he approaches Debbie]

    Debbie Jellinsky: Fester?

    Uncle Fester: Uh-huh?

    Debbie Jellinsky: We may be together for a while.

    Uncle Fester: All our lives, cara mia!

    Debbie Jellinsky: What?

    Uncle Fester: Mon cher.

    Debbie Jellinsky: Speak English!

    Uncle Fester: Pumpkin?

    Debbie Jellinsky: And if I have to be seen with you, we need to make some changes.

    Uncle Fester: Changes?

  • Debbie Jellinsky: Hi, I'm Debbie Jellinsky from the agency.

    Morticia: The agency? But they claimed no one else was available. They suggested a Doberman.

  • Morticia: [in a philosophical sighing tone] Our whole family... together at last... three generations... above ground.

    Debbie Jellinsky: [shouting from offstage, then suddenly appearing on the scene holding a ridiculous-looking fat-bodied old-fashioned sawed-off shotgun, which she pumps dramatically to chamber a shell] IN-LAWS!

    [Shluck-shlick!]

  • Debbie Jellinsky: [shouts at moving-men] These are beautiful things! They're from catalogs!

Browse more character quotes from Addams Family Values (1993)

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