Dean Richmond Quotes in The Nutty Professor (1996)

Sherman Klump: I assure you, I will not let you down.

Dean Richmond: You won't. I know you won't. As a matter of fact, I know you're going to be perfect! Do you know how I know all these things? I know them because if you're *not* perfect, nevermind the yelling, the screaming and the firing. If anything goes wrong, for any reason

[pause]

Dean Richmond: I'm going to kill you. And I don't mean that as a euphemism, I am going to literally kill you. I'm going to strangle you and choke off your air supply until you pass away.

[Professor Sherman Klump grunts and groans trying to fit his obese frame into an office chair; he finally gets comfortable and sighs with relief]

Dean Richmond: Comfy?

Sherman Klump: Quite.

Dean Richmond: Anything I can get for you? Juice? Coffee? Rack of lamb?

Sherman Klump: No, sir, I'm fine.

Dean Richmond: Deals come and go. Wellman will always be Wellman. But you know what bothers me? I walking down the street and this 8-year old boy says, Look Mommy, there's the Hamster's BITCH!

Sherman Klump: Buddy Love, I am SICK, and TIRED, of your S-H...

Dean Richmond: I.

Sherman Klump: Thank you. T-E!

Buddy Love: Oh, ho-ho-ho. My shite?

Buddy Love: Well if it isn't the creator of Jumbo the Horny Hampster!

Dean Richmond: PLEASE!

[Sherman and Dean look at what's left of Buddy by the fountain]

Dean Richmond: What - that's it? He's gone?

[Sherman stutters at a loss for words]

Dean Richmond: Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-what? Oh, that's marvelous!

[Sherman continues as they sit by the fountain]

Dean Richmond: The deal is dead you know that. I've been calling you a moron for years, now you're finally...

[he stops realizing he said enough]

Dean Richmond: [leaves] I'll just get a cab.

Sherman Klump: Um, sir, if it makes you feel any better, Petey is back to normal and feeling just fine.

Dean Richmond: Oh yeah? D'YOU THINK HE'LL CALL?

Sherman Klump: Dean, I just want to tell you, I'm - I'm sorry...

Dean Richmond: STOP... SPEAKING!

Sherman Klump: I just want to go on record as saying that -

[muttering]

Dean Richmond: Shh, shh, shh. Shh, shh, shh. I've been looking forward to saying something to you for years. And here it is: You're FAT!

[chuckles]

Dean Richmond: And dumb...!

[Denise enters the room]

Dean Richmond: ...and fired.

[Dean Richmond leaves]

Dean Richmond: Not so fast, pal. I'm not letting you out of my sight until both our names are on that contract. I'm gonna be stuck to you like a giant hampster on my a -... Where you go, I go.