David Ershon Quotes in The Other Guys (2010)

David Ershon: Douglas, how's the wife?

Douglas: She died.

David Ershon: Attaboy.

Terry Hoitz: We're gonna do 'good cop, bad cop'. Okay? It's the oldest game in the book for a reason - it works. I come strong, then you come in. You got it?

Allen Gamble: Yeah.

Terry Hoitz: I come strong, then you come in.

Allen Gamble: Right. Got it.

Terry Hoitz: [to Ershon] Now you listen to me, you piece of shit! It's just you and me, and I'm gonna rip you apart! How did you cover your losses up? Huh? What drug cartel are you working with now?

David Ershon: Okay, I'll talk to you,

[pointing at Allen]

David Ershon: you're reasonable!

Terry Hoitz: [shaking him] No-no, look at me!

Allen Gamble: Yeah? You wanna talk to me?

[pushes Terry away and storms on Ershon]

Terry Hoitz: Allen, what are you doing?

Allen Gamble: [yells at Ershon] I'm gonna make you eat a plate of human shit!

[runs around smashing his office]

Allen Gamble: [next scene, Allen and Terry are walking outside] Look, I'm really sorry about that. I just... I saw how aggressive you were being, and I thought 'Wow, I gotta go even bigger than that since we're doing 'Bad cop, bad cop'.

Terry Hoitz: What? No, I said 'Good cop, bad cop'. I'm the bad cop, you're the good cop.

Allen Gamble: Okay, then there it is. That's it. I thought you said 'Bad cop, bad cop'.

David Ershon: Gentlemen, you have two choices: Mamma Mia or Jersey Boys.

David Ershon: I think the best way to tell the story is by starting at the end, briefly, then going back to the beginning, and then periodically returning to the end, maybe giving different characters' perspectives throughout. Just to give it a bit of dynamism, otherwise it's just sort of a linear story.

Terry Hoitz: Remember us, hotshot?

David Ershon: Of course I do. Please, sit.

[to his secretary]

David Ershon: Two of those Russian waters, please. No lime wedges, just cucumber.

Terry Hoitz: Guess where we just came from? An explosion at your accounting office.

David Ershon: Yes, that awful gas leak.

Terry Hoitz: Gas leak? The only gas leak is the one coming out of your mouth right now.

David Ershon: I just thank God no one was hurt or injured in a bad way. I absolutely abhor death.

Terry Hoitz: Hey, Andrew Lloyd Webber, the jig is up, okay? We know it wasn't your security team that grabbed you. And we know you're targeting a big fish to cover losses. You talk or I beat you so it don't show no bruises.

Allen Gamble: God, this water is good. Terry, have you tried the water?

Terry Hoitz: Shut up, Allen.

David Ershon: [being arrested by Hoitz and Gamble for the first time] Is this real? Am I being Punk'd?

Allen Gamble: Whoa, your hair's soft!

David Ershon: VO5 Hot Oil!