Davey Quotes in Eight Crazy Nights (2002)

Davey: Can I prance around with my morning erection?

Whitey: If you do you'll want an automatic ejection cause that's a technical foul!

Eleanor Duvall: But I would like to see it anyway!

Davey: Make some long distance calls?

Eleanore: You'll get a kick in the balls!

Davey: Good night, mayor! And the answer to your question is Spencer's Gifts. They definitely have furry underwear.

Old Lady: [disgusted at the mayor] You're gross.

Mayor: Ohh...

Davey: I can't believe I haven't killed myself / Here with Wigs McGee and a furry elf / She's neurotic and he's a troll / How did I get stuck in this shithole? / Guess I'll have to deal with your demands / But please don't touch me with your alien hands.

Eleanor Duvall: Hey, look! He already stole something!

Davey: It's a letter from my parents.

Eleanor Duvall: Well why don't you go live them?

Davey: They died.

Eleanor Duvall: My bad.

Whitey: [now covered in excrement] The worst has happened: I'm covered in human feces...

Davey: That's a good look for you, but how about is that I should probably spray you off?

[Davey sprays on Whitey with a hose. Whitey is now frozen]

Davey: Love's all over the world dad. It protects us all.

Grif Henderson: Well, I've been all over the world son. Take a gun.

Hando: [knock at bedroom door] What?

Davey: Hando, ah, Magoo.

Hando: [door flies open, and Magoo walks in] Magoo!

Magoo: Way to go!

[clasps hands with Hando]

Hando: Fuckin' Magoo! What are you doing here?

Magoo: Didn't have time to tell you we were coming, mate. Didn't know we were coming actually, just keep on driving forgot to fuckin' stop! Check this out.

[pulls Flea who's wearing a navy uniform into the room]

Flea: Joined up a couple months ago.

Hando: What for?

Flea: Needed a job, didn't I? Put you through school. At least you get to keep the hair short, bud.

Hando: You look like a fuckin' hippie with hair that long.

Sonny Jim: [enters the room and after wrestling with Flea and McGoo] I thought you wanted to shoot guns, mate.

Flea: I gonna get in a fuckin' sub, fire torpedos.

[Davey is sitting on the bed as Stella comes in. He locks the door behind her and shoves a chair under the handle to jam it shut. Davey leads Stella to the bathroom and looks in the mirror briefly, rumpling his hair again. He pulls out a small package of cocaine powder]

Stella, Drugs Seeker: How much?

Davey: One and a bit.

Stella, Drugs Seeker: A bit?

Davey: Eleven.

Davey: [Stella sticks out her little finger and Davey opens the package and pours some powder onto it. Stella sniffs the powder and inhales it. Outside, someone bangs on the door to the bedroom, Davey sticks his head out to check if the door is securely jammed shut] Nice?

Stella, Drugs Seeker: Nine and a half.

Davey: [laughs] Please.

Stella, Drugs Seeker: Okay

[rummages through her purse]

Stella, Drugs Seeker: You got any brown?

[She gives him the money]

Stella, Drugs Seeker: Theres another five hundred. Are you interested?

[Davey counts the money]

Stella, Drugs Seeker: I was told you liked money

Davey: It's a cunt's drug

[Kisses her and walks out of the room]

Malone, Chauffeur: [Driving Davey to a party] You heard from Will?

Davey: Not recent. Months now

[he scoffs]

Davey: Used to ring regular.

Malone, Chauffeur: I though he'd be back.

Davey: He won't be back.

Malone, Chauffeur: That's a wicked waste.

Davey: Changed

Malone, Chauffeur: Well he would, wouldn't he? Too long alone does that to you. I told him. I said, "you go out there with the pig fuckers..."

Davey: [as they reach Davey's destination] Here will do.

Malone, Chauffeur: Business or pleasure?

Davey: Bit of both.

Malone, Chauffeur: If Will knew you were tyrning that stuff, he'd tread on you.

Davey: [Smiles and gets out of the car] Be good.

Malone, Chauffeur: Give him my regards, if he rings

[He drives away]

Malone, Chauffeur: [Davey buzzes the phone to the apartment]

Sheridan: Yes?

Davey: I hear you're giving money away.

Sheridan: Davey, you're late!

[Davey grins]

Davey: [Davey goes into the elevator and looks at himself in the mirror, he rumples his hair and grins] Devastating.

[He enters the apartment where the party is taking place]

Sheridan: [spotting Davey from across the room] Did you get my message?

Davey: I'm here.

Sheridan: I was at school with her. Money.

Davey: She'll do.

Davey: I'm dyin' boys. Jesus, I'm so thirsty.

Will Munny: Give him a drink of water, goddamn it. Will you give him a drink of water, for Christ's sake? We ain't gonna shoot.

[first lines]

Davey: I wonder what it's like to be dead? I hope it's peaceful - like you're floating. I hope you don't keep thinking about how you died. Or why. Or how it makes no sense. The thing about it is, it's all so final.

[black-out]

Wolf - Martin Ortiz: When I was young, I used to climb here all the time with my father. I hope it never changes.

Davey: Everything changes.

Davey: See my *friend*!

Davey: [deep, raspy voice] We're going to have a party!

[repeated line]

Davey: You're so pretty.