Daughter Quotes in Another World (2014)

Daughter: Can't we do things for no reason at all?

[first lines]

Stevie: Pa, how far is Brazil?

Barney Dent: That's a long way away, Stevie - clear across the world.

Daughter: Is it as far as Amarillo?

Barney Dent: Yeah, farther!

Stevie: Why are our bulls going to Brazil?

Barney Dent: Because we sold 'em to a rancher down there.

Donnie Brasco: [Joe's kids are giving him the silent treatment, while making them eggs for breakfast] I bet you can't get through breakfast without saying three words

Daughter: [beaming up at him] You lose!

Daughter: Mom, when are we gonna get a real Christmas tree?

Grace: When they're free!

Eddie Johnson: I don't understand why you are doing this.

Kathy Johnson: I just can't live with you anymore. So, I'm going back to college.

Eddie Johnson: But why do you want to move here when you live in Coral Beach? How many times do I have to tell you that I'm sorry?

Kathy Johnson: Sorry doesn't cut it. Ever since you decided to park your car in someone else's garage. And by car, I mean cock!

Daughter: Mommy, what's a...

Eddie Johnson: [interrupting] It's a rooster.

[first lines]

Mona Gray: [narrating] I used to love my dad's stories, until the one he told me on my tenth birthday.

Dad: There once was a kingdom where everybody lived forever. But the problem with nobody ever dying was that the kingdom got very crowded. And so the king, getting squeezed out of his own castle by his endless royal lineage, issued a decree.

King: [still-life cartoon] Everybody in my kingdom, please pick one person from your family to die. We will have a mass execution that will bring forth much-needed space. Sorry to bum everybody out, but that's the way it goes.

Dad: And each family showed up with their martyr, all except one family.

Father: Sire, we can't decide. We love each other so much that we would all like to die together.

Baker: Oh, no, they can't all die. They run the bakery. They make the best cinnamon buns in all the land.

Father: What if we each cut off a piece of ourselves? And with all of these pieces combined, it will be as if one less person lived in town.

King: Interesting. Hmm. Continue.

Dad: But the daughter refused.

Daughter: But, Dad, I like my limbs.

Father: Don't be selfish. Would you rather one of us die?

Son: You can have my arm.

Mother: I'll give my right ear.

Baker: I see no problem losing some of my fingers.

Father: I'll throw in my nose.

King: Guarantee me a leg, and it's a deal.

Daughter: Well, I do have another one. Okay, I'm in.

Dad: After the executioner had done the deed, the family made an unsightly sight and business went bad. So the family started selling their cinnamon buns by mail order to the next kingdom. And since no one had to look at them, they were a huge hit, and they made heaps of dough. And the father said to the daughter, "You see what we can accomplish if we all stick together?"The end.

Mona Gray: [party guests all staring at Mona's Dad] It was the last birthday party I ever had.

Wally's wife: Kids, where's your Father?

Daughter: He's upstairs masturbating to gay porn.

Wally's wife: Again?

Mother: Just use your own judgment.

Daughter: You tell me where to go.

Harold: [muttering] I'd like to tell you both where to go.

Nemo Nobody adult: So... who has a joke? Anybody? I do! What's green, small and goes up and down?

Daughter: A pea in a elevator. It's not funny. Old people humour...

Dr. Jerry Woolridge: You sleep with your mama tonight. I'm gonna sleep with your brother so Karl can have your room.

Daughter: Why?

Dr. Jerry Woolridge: 'Cause he's company.

Grandma: Why are your pants so low?

Tyler: I rap.

Daughter: It's a form of modern poetry... if you give him a topic, he'll extemporaneously rhyme on the subject. His stage nom de plume is "T-Diamond Stylus." Go ahead, Nana, give him anything!

Grandma: Is food okay? I like food.

Daughter: Yeah. Of course!

Grandma: How about... pineapple upside-down cake?

Tyler: Yeah... sure, why not? Okay... mmm-hmm! Okay! Got it. Okay... the girls, they like me, they think I'm sweet like candy! One girl looked at me like I was a Hershey bar! Her name was Angie, and a few tall girls,they just looked at me blankly! So here's the thing you got to understand about me, I got more rhymes than a beehive has bees! So it didn't surprise, confuse or make me say "For heaven's sake", when a Hawaiian girl with a balance disorder said "You remind me of a pineapple upside-down cake"! Ho!

Daughter: Mom, there's something wrong with nana and papa.

Mom: They're just OLD!

Daughter: It's Hasbro, not Milton Bradley that makes Yahtze now, Grandpa.

Tyler: [trying desperately to smooth things over] Well, I'M having fun!

Conductor: You a film prodigy? You know, I used to be a pretty good actor.

Daughter: Oh, my camera light's blinking!

Conductor: I am disgraced, impeached and baffled here!

Daughter: Battery pack is low!

Conductor: Pierced to the soul with slander's venomed spear!

Daughter: Oh, oh, unfortunately, I'm just going to have to shut the camera off!

Tyler: Nothing can scare me!

Daughter: Yeah right!

Tyler: [sees something scary] AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Daughter: [Dramatically] Oh, the good lord sent me back!

[Winks at audience]

Daughter: There I was at the pearly gates and St. Peter said to *me*... Oh Mouthface, there is a fool family who is lost without you!

Mother: Did, uh, ahem... did you just fake dying of dysentery?

Daughter: [Smiles] Gotcha.

Son: [sings] Craaphoole, yeah that's me, I'm seven and I'm male!

Daughter: [sings] Mouuthface, is what my friends call me, I'm looking for love on the trail!

Father: All right, on three. What's this trip all about? One, two, three!

Mother: Dying.

[Said at the same time]

Daughter: Eating grass.

[Said at the same time]

Son: Skinny dipping!

[Said at the same time]

Horny Ox: I'm a monster!

[Said at the same time]

Mother: Now kids, say a few words for your poor, foolish father, please.

Daughter: Pepperoni...

Son: And... cheese?

Mother: [pause] Yep. Y - yeah... couldn't have said it better myself. Pepperoni and cheese, amen.

Grandpa: Now, now, now! Whoever wants to kill the most should go first.

Daughter: [Raises hand] I do, Grandpa. I've got bloodlust.

Daughter: They could be dead for all I know, and I've been sitting in the back of the wagon for three months writing letters to nobody like a jackass.

Horny Ox: Cricket. Cricket, Cricket... Cock-a-doodle-doo! Hoot hoot. Hoot Hoot... Cock-a-doodle-doo!

Daughter: Damn this is boring.

Daughter: Tell me how it ends...