Darrell Quotes in Deliver Us from Eva (2003)

Darrell: Eva's sisters gave her a cross with Jesus on it for her birthday, the next day Jesus was gone!

Darrell: Don't mind us. We're just having sex.

Eva: Oh so I should come back in, what, two minutes?

Ray: She's cute, but why's she scowling?

Darrell: That's her sexy smirk, brother.

Ray: I think I might love her.

Darrell: Love! You forgot the rule. Players don't feel. That's like a pimp with a health plan.

Darrell: Look, we were here FIRST, Eva!

Eva: Yes! Sure but the temporal proximity of our advent isn't determitive, IS IT?

Darrell: [pauses] I'll get BACK to you on that one!

Eva: YEAH!

Darrell: [under his breath to Timothy] Cuz I don't know WHAT she just said.

Darrell: Darrell doesn't cry. Darrell's eyes sweat.

Darrell: Darrell's been inoculated.

Andy: Darrel just smiled!

Darrell: I did not! It was a facial spasm!

Darrell: One drop of this on Darrell's palm and you'll be pushing the mercury past 105 and choking to death on your own mucus in 24 hours.

Andy: But you'd be dead too.

Darrell: Darrell's been inoculated.

Andy: Now what's wrong?

Darrell: How do you think people get sick, huh? Some guy picks his nose or scratches his ass, then he grabs that handle. You touch it and next thing you know, you're bleeding out of your eyes - out of your anus. Go ahead. Be my guest. Touch it.

Andy: [puts hand on handle, opens the door and licks his palm] Live Dangerously

Darrell: Aquatophano is a transparent and tasteless poison that delivers death with no real symptoms... I'm in.

Salman: He's never officially been linked to any murders but I'd stick to bottled water.

Darrell: Now, ya'll ain't planning on fuckin' these chickens are ya?

Charlie Altamont: What the fuck are you getting at? Do you fuck chickens?

Darrell: [chuckles] Well, I have thought about fuckin' some chickens before. If you want to have a good time and you need some pussy, you can cut that chicken's head off, stick your dick in that ass of that chicken, and that damn chicken'll go crazy on your ass and go "Caaaaah!".

Charlie Altamont: Are you saying... that I would cut off a chicken's head? Stick my dick in it? Fuck it... And go "Aah"? You accuse me of fucking a chicken, motherfucker?

Darrell: I'm not callin' you a chicken fucker but that boy over there looks sexually frustrated, and I don't approve of chicken fucking.

Clevon: [to Charlie] You hear what he called me, boss? I ain't no fuckin' chicken fucker!

Darrell: My mistake, my mistake.

Clevon: He called me a fuckin' chicken fucker!

Charlie Altamont: Go back and grab the fuckin' chickens, Clevon!

[to Darrell]

Charlie Altamont: Here. Here's five.

Darrell: Appreciate it, thank y'all.

Clevon: He's the chicken fucker!

Charlie Altamont: That's all right, put it back there. Next time, we go someplace else.

Clevon: We ain't never buyin' chickens from him again, boss!

Charlie Altamont: I know. I know.

Clevon: [to Darrell] You inbred! Inbred!

Darrell: You think bad, and bad's what you'll get.

Bobby: That's an interesting philosophy there, Darrell.

Darrell: Yeah. And no charge.

Darrell: Damn. Gonna be another hot one today. Sometimes I don't even want to get out of bed. Course, I don't want to get out for the cold ones neither.

Bobby: Listen to me you stupid fuck...

Darrell: No! You listen to me goddamnit! Ya sorry son of a bitch! You owe me money! And this car aint goin' no place 'till I get it!

Bobby: I'm here to get my car back.

Darrell: You got the money?

[Bobby gives him the money]

Darrell: Two hundred dollars in hundred dollar bills, this morning you was flat out broke.

Bobby: That's none of your fucking business.

Darrell: I don't want no dirty money. I run a clean business!

Darrell: Ya think bad, then bad's what ya get.

Bobby: That's a pretty decent philosophy you got there.

Darrell: Yeah, well, no charge.

Darrell: It's called hunting, son. Shoot that animal and you kill it, that's what the rifle is for, killing.