Daphne Quotes in Rollerball (1975)


Daphne Quotes:

  • Daphne: Hi. I'm Daphne.

    Jonathan E.: Yeah, that figures.

  • Daphne: I found this tunic. Is it alright?

    Jonathan E.: Its the uniform of the house

  • Daphne: What sort of a pill did you give me?

    Jonathan E.: Pure aphrodisiac, Daph. Enjoy yourself, dear.

    Daphne: Can't we finish up there and go home?

  • Daphne: Listen, Jonathan, I really want to go with you. I do, really. You'll need me.

    Jonathan E.: Get yourself another assignment, will ya, Daph.

    Daphne: Everybody is an assignment. Life's an assignment!

  • Daphne: You better do as you're told, Jonathan. That's all I have to say.

    Jonathan E.: Are you threatening me?

  • Daphne: What did the barmaid say?

    Flynn the Fine: "Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh gods, yes."

    Daphne: About Mort Kemnon, dumbass?

  • Daphne: You raised our dinner from the dead!

  • Flynn the Fine: What is that heavenly music?

    Priestess: The Hymn to Therin. It calls to our goddess.

    Leo: [voice-over] I seduce the priestess!

    Lodge: [voice-over] She's taken a vow of celibacy!

    Leo: [voice-over] Dude, 20 ranks in seduction!

    Flynn the Fine: [to priestess] Hey, baby. Wanna tune my mandolin?

    [rolls and the priestess and Flynn leave the room]

    Daphne: [to Hierophant] Please understand the horny Bard does not represent us.

  • Luster (male): You know, you're unlike any other woman I've ever met.

    Daphne: Right back at ya.

    Luster (male): So fast, so strong. Like steel wrapped in silk. A man could lose himself in those eyes.

    Daphne: A *man* could, yes, but apparently I must remind you that you're a woman.

    Luster: [pause] ... of course I am. I don't suppose you'd be interested in a little girl-on-girl ac...

    Daphne: [grabs Luster's arm and puts it in a hold] You don't *really* want to finish that thought, do you?

    Luster: I'll take that as a 'no.'

    Daphne: Good girl.

  • Shaggy: Hey, you guys, look. I know I'm just the dude that carries the bags, but it seems to me we all play an important part in this group. I mean, we're just like a big, delicious banana split. Fred, you're the big banana; Daphne, you're the pastrami and bubble gum-flavoured ice cream; and Velma, you're the sweet-and-sour mustard sauce that goes on top.

    Scooby Doo: Mmm-mm.

    Shaggy: That sounds pretty good, doesn't it?

    Velma: You know what, Shaggy? You've really put it into perspective for me.

    Shaggy: Thanks.

    Velma: I quit!

    Shaggy: NO!

    Daphne: No way! You... you can't quit! I was gonna quit in, like, two seconds! And now everyone is gonna totally think I copied off the smart girl!

    Fred: Now, wait a minute. wait a minute. Maybe I quit. I do. Yeah, I quit!

    Velma: I'm outta here!

    Daphne: Good riddance.

    Shaggy: Don't... no! Don't go. Come on, guys, don't do this! Please, don't go.

    Scooby Doo: Do I quit?

    Shaggy: No, Scoob... friends don't quit. Well, it looks like it's just you and me for a while, buddy, old pal.

  • Daphne: I'm not helpless. I'm not helpless. I am helpless. I'm gonna die.

  • Velma: Oh please. You get kidnapped so much you should come with your own ransom note.

    [Daphne snatches Velma's glasses off her face]

    Velma: My glasses. Where's my glasses?

    Daphne: Who's helpless now?

  • Voodoo Maestro: Whatever you do, don't go into that spooky island castle.

    [points to castle]

    Daphne: AH-HA, you want me to go into that castle!

    Voodoo Maestro: Didn't you hear what I just said?

    Daphne: But you're scary and you knew I'd do the opposite of what you said so you told me not to go up to that castle so I would go up to that castle where you've set a trap to capture me.

    [thinks for a second]

    Daphne: Unless... unless you knew I'd figure it out so you told me not to go up to that castle so I would think that you wanted me to go so I wouldn't go just like you didnt want me to... I'll find out what your hiding in that castle. You'll see.

    [Daphne walks away]

    Voodoo Maestro: [to himself] What in the world...?

  • [Deleted scene]

    Daphne: [Chained up to a giant stone] you snuck up on me you jerk,let me out.

    Daphne: [giant mechanical arm head towards her] This can't be good. No,no,no

    [arm enters her body]

    Daphne: no,

    [arm pulling out her protoplasm]

    Daphne: NO!

    Daphne: [Protoplasm form] hey,give me back my spirit thingy. This is so uncool, and you're messing up my hair.

    Zarkos: [laughs]

    Daphne: [to Zarkos] You're a jerk, capital J E R

    [enters protoplasm vat]

  • Scrappy Doo: Scrappy-Dappy-Doo!

    Scooby Doo: Hey!

    Scrappy Doo: Ghosts don't stand a chance with me! Let me at em. I'll rock 'em and sock 'em.

    Fred: Scrappy, for the thousandth time, there's no such things as ghosts!

    Scrappy Doo: Sure there are, and when I find them I'll give them a good of puppy power!

    [Urinates on Daphne]

    Scrappy Doo: Ta-da!

    Daphne: Oh, God! He's peeing on me!

  • Velma: Daphne? Are you okay?

    Daphne: I am so over this damsel in distress nonsense.

    Fred: Uh, where's Shagster?

    Shaggy: Like, I'm right here, man.

    Scooby Doo: Me too.

    Shaggy: Hey, Scoob, that was fun. Let's grab another skateboard and, like, do it again,man.

    Scooby Doo: Yeah.


  • Daphne: Now, who's the damsel in distress?

    Zarkos: Me?

    Daphne: Straight up.

  • Zarkos: [Holding Daphne over his back] Captured again, señorita.


    Daphne: [grunting] Not this time!

    [Bites Zarkos's hand]

  • Daphne: Those creatures are taking over the world? That is so mean.

  • [Shaggy pulls Daphne's protoplasm out of the vat]

    Daphne: Put me back, Shaggy. I'll figure a way out myself.

    Shaggy: Like how?

    Daphne: I don't know. I'll - I'll use my tongue as an oar to swim to the edge.

    Shaggy: Sorry.

    [releases Daphne's protoplasm]

  • Daphne: I've got this. I've got this.

    [Door closes]

    Daphne: I don't got this.

  • Velma: What's the problem, exactly?

    Mondavarious: I believe somebody is casting a spell on the students. Now listen and look around. Can you notice any difference between those arriving and those departing?

    Daphne: They look like sober, well-behaved college kids.

    Mondavarious: Precisely. And they didn't before they came. They've changed. In other words, a magic spell.

  • [Talking to Fred and Velma]

    Daphne: I'm a black-belt now. I've transformed my body into a dangerous weapon.

  • Daphne: Wait. I know how to deal with this guy.

    [shouts to Voodoo Maestro]

    Daphne: Hey you! What are you doin'?

    Velma: Yes, that is masterful.

  • Daphne: Hey, I'm me again.

    Velma: [in Fred's body] Yippee for you.

    Shaggy: [as Velma] Man! Like why am I wearing a dress?

  • Daphne: I'm looking for clues behind the strange behavior of the college students.

    Voodoo Maestro: Well, here's a clue for you: Purple is a fall color. It's the middle of May!

  • Shaggy: [to Daphne] Like, Scoob and me don't do castles.

    Daphne: And why not?

    Shaggy: Because castles have paintings with eyes that follow,suits of armor that you think are a statue,and a that keeps following you every time you turn around.

  • Daphne: [in Fred's body] Fred keeps touching me.

  • Daphne: I've got a major wedgie.

  • Fred: I'm me!

    Daphne: I'm back.

    Shaggy: Like, me too.

    Velma: Told you so.

  • Daphne: [to shaggy and scooby] We're here to solve a mystery.

  • Velma: I'm gonna solve this one first.

    Fred: Not before I solve it first.

    Daphne: You guys are going to look like total,total idiots when you're captured and I'm the one saving you.

    Mondavarious: Well done.

  • Zarkos: [while grabbing Daphne and throwing her on his knee] Ah Ha! Damsel in Distress!

    Daphne: Let go of me! Help!

  • Shaggy: We're gonna die!

    Daphne: Think positive!

    Shaggy: We're gonna die quickly!

  • [after releasing herself and friends from the trap using make-up accessories]

    Daphne: I enjoy being a girl.

  • Daphne: Fred, do you think that I'm just a pretty face?

    Fred: No. I mean... yes. I mean *not fat*. Definitely *not fat*. Is this sort of you're looking for?

    Daphne: Fat? Why did you even use that word?

  • Fred: I'm affraid. I'm a wimp, huh?

    Daphne: That doesn't make you a wimp. Makes you human.

  • Daphne: Where is it?

    Velma: [mumbling] I gave it to Shaggy and Scooby.

    Fred: Ha, that's funny. It sounded like you said you gave it to Shaggy and Scooby.

  • Daphne: Freddy, are you okay? Wanna talk?

    Fred: Talkin's for wimps.

    [Fred gets out of the mystery machine]

    Fred: It's time for action.

  • Daphne: Guys, come on remember what I told you?

    Shaggy: Never pick your nose in public.

    Daphne: No, but that's... good too.

    Scooby-Doo: Rimage ris everything.

    Daphne: Yes, image is everything. Okay the whole city is watching, so try to keep a brave face.

    Shaggy: Huh?

    Daphne: Guys, they're costumes.

    Shaggy: She's right, Scoob, up close they look totally fake.

  • Daphne: [after thinking of a clever retort to some jeering kids] Hey! Shut up!

  • Daphne: They're cheering for us again.

    Fred: I always thought that was the best thing in the world. I guess I found something a bit better.

  • Heather: It's my job to unmask those who pretend to be who they're not.

    Daphne: Unmask those? You sound like...

    Heather: Sound like who?

    Daphne: The Evil-Masked Guy. But you knew that. Because just as you know I'm standing here you know that I know who you know you are, which is him who's a her which is you.

    Heather: Oh. Now I see what you're doing for the gang. You're in charge of incoherent bubbling.

    Evil Masked Figure: Mystery Incorporated, once again you have proven useless before my power. Because of you soon Coolsville will be mine

    Heather: darn it! thanks alot, the scoop of the night gone. can't you do anything right

  • Daphne: Everyone has flaws. You just have to make sure the other person doesn't see them.

  • Daphne: Nonsense! You don't need a man to wear a beautiful dress!

    Paul: But it doesn't hurt...

    [Paul gets down on one knee in front of Viola]

    Paul: Viola Hastings it would be my pleasure to escort you.

  • Viola: SEBASTIAN!

    Daphne: Were you just talking with your brother?

    Viola: No. Yes. On the phone. He's at dad's. BYE DAD.

  • Daphne: [after hearing about Viola breaking up with Justin] But why? He's so handsome, and rugged, and chiseled, and great.

    Viola: Then why don't you date him mom?

    Daphne: [pauses to fantasize and giggles] oh no... I couldn't.

  • Viola: [Viola's mom shows her a dress] Echh. No. Sorry, Mom. I have a strict no-ruffles policy.

    Daphne: Sometimes I just think you just might as well be your brother.

  • Daphne: You did all this to play soccer?

  • Daphne: So Monique's getting you all excited about being a debutant, huh?

    Viola: Thuper duper exthited! Have a good carnival!

  • Osgood: I am Osgood Fielding the third.

    Daphne: I'm Cinderella the second.

  • Joe - 'Josephine': [grabbing Daphne by the collar] Daphne?

    Daphne: Well, I never did like the name Geraldine.

  • Osgood: [referring to his mother] Right now, she thinks I'm out there on my yacht - deep sea fishing!

    Daphne: Well, pull in your reel, Mr. Fielding, you're barking up the wrong fish!

  • Osgood: You must be quite a girl.

    Daphne: Wanna bet?

  • Sugar: [pouring bourbon into paper cup] Turn the lights on.

    Daphne: No lights, we don't want anyone to know we're having a party.

    Sugar: But I might spill some.

    Daphne: So spill it! Spills, thrills, laughs, and games. This may even turn out to be a surprise party.

    Sugar: What's the surprise?

    Daphne: Not yet.

    Sugar: When?

    Daphne: Better have a drink first.

    Sugar: There. That'll put hair on your chest.

    Daphne: No fair guessing.

  • [Jerry sees Joe impersonating a wealthy yachtsman to flirt with Sugar]

    Sugar: [to Joe] This is my friend Daphne, she's a Vassar girl.

    Daphne: I'm a what?

    Sugar: Or was it Bryn Mawr?

    Junior: [firmly to Jerry] I heard a very sad story about a girl that went to Bryn Mawr. She squealed on her roommate... and they found her strangled with her own brazier!

    Daphne: Yes, we've got to be very careful who we choose for a roommate.

  • Osgood: You know, I've always been *fascinated* by show business.

    Daphne: Is that so?

    Osgood: Yes. As a matter of fact it's cost my family quite a bit of money.

    Daphne: Oh, you invest in shows?

    Osgood: Showgirls. I've been married seven or eight times.

    Daphne: You're not sure?

    Osgood: Mama is keeping score.

  • Daphne: [after meeting the all-girl band they'll be traveling with] How about that talent, huh? It's like falling into a tub of butter.

    Joe: Watch it, Daphne!

    Daphne: When I was a kid, Joe, I used to have a dream. I was locked up overnight in a pastry shop, and there was goodies all around. There was jelly rolls, and mocha eclairs, and sponge cake and Boston cream pie...

    Joe: Look, Stoop...

    Daphne: And cherry tart...

    Joe: Stoop, listen to me! No butter, no pastry. We're on a diet!

  • Daphne: [in the berth, with the lady band members passing food around and a corkscrew's been brought] Girls, keep it down! You'll wake up the neighbours downstairs, now Josephine... WATCH THAT CORKSCREW!

  • Sweet Sue: Are you two from the Poliakoff agency?

    Joe: Yes, we're the new girls.

    Daphne: Brand new!

  • Beinstock: [as Daphne falls up the train steps] . Whoops-a-daisy!

    [smacks his bottom]

    Daphne: Fresh!

  • Daphne: [after meeting the dipsomaniac Sugar] How about the shape of that liquor cabinet?

  • Daphne: I think they passed out.

    Fred: Great. What do we do with them now?

    Shaggy: Let's cut out their kidneys and sell them to the black market and leave them in a seedy motel bathtub full of ice.

  • Fred: [Jay and Silent Bob have hitched a ride with The Mystery Machine] Great now we solve the mystery of the hitchhiking ghouls. Pull off their masks and let's see who they really are

    Velma: I don't think they are masks

    Daphne: And I don't think they're hitchhiking girls either

    Velma: Ghouls you fuckin' moron. Not girls

    Shaggy: The only real mystery here is why we take our cues from a dick in a neckerchief

    Fred: [Grabs Shaggy by the collar] Keep it up beatnik. I'll feed you to the fucking dog.

    Daphne: [yells] I can't take all this fighting

    Jay: Yo! Youse guys need to turn those frowns upside down.

    [He pulls out a bag of marijuana joints]

    Jay: We call 'em doobie snacks

  • Jay: Zoinks, yo.

    Fred: Now we can finally solve the mystery of the hitchhiking ghouls. Pull of their masks and let's see who they really are!

    Velma: I don't think they are masks.

    Daphne: And I don't think that they're hitchhiking girls either.

    Velma: GHOULS, you fuckin' moron, not girls! I wish they were hitchhiking girls- sexy hitchhiking girls.

    Fred: Let's kick 'em out! We've got a mystery to solve!

    Shaggy: The only mystery here is why we take our cues from a dick in a neckerchief!

    Fred: Keep it up, beatnik, I'll feed ya to the fuckin' dog!


    Jay: YO! Youse guys need to turn those frowns upside down, and I got just the thing for that... we call it... DOOBIE SNACKS!

  • Daphne: Oh, my God!

    Sandy: What?

    Daphne: You have a thing for the nanny!

  • Daphne: Nice ass, coffee boy!

  • Sensei Dana: A husband who has wronged you, who has *cheated* and *lied* to you, or you, or you

    [points finger at an student]

    Sensei Dana: or you.

    Daphne: I'm a lesbian.

    Sensei Dana: See me after class.

  • [Daphne and Rocks are starting at each other]

    Julie Ubriacco: Look! They like each other!

    James: [to Mollie] See honey, they like each other.

    Daphne: Mongrel.

    Rocks: Bitch.

  • Daphne: What's your name?

    Rocks: They call me No.

    Daphne: Silly, that's not your name. That's what they say when you're bad. There must be something else, what're they always calling you?

    Rocks: Well there is that rocks thing.

    Daphne: Rocks, that's it!

  • Daphne: I hate this haircut, my butt is freezing!

    Rocks: Ha ha, cute butt.

  • [Rocks and Daphne are staring at each other]

    Julie Ubriacco: Look, they like each other.

    Daphne: Mongrel.

    Rocks: Bitch.

    James: [to Mollie] See, honey. They like each other.

  • Jim: So what do you do, Luke?

    Luke: I fall in love with women who then shit on me from a great height.

    Daphne: You shouldn't put them on a pedestal.

  • Daphne: [snarling at prisoner] I don't play "good cop, bad cop" - requires too much patience. I go straight to "bad cop, worse cop." Now behave!

  • Travis: It's okay, George. I still respect you.

    Daphne: Yeah, I respect you too, George. Ya know, I'd let you dig around in my chest. Of course not today, but...

  • George Hartman: The ball sack is life.

    Daphne: The ball sack is life.

    Travis: The ball sack is life.

  • Mamie: Is your names Mamie?

    DaphneVanderbilt: No.

    Mamie: Get back in the kitchen!


    Mamie: Is your names Miss Linda?

    DaphneVanderbilt: No.

Browse more character quotes from Rollerball (1975)