Danny Rose Quotes in Broadway Danny Rose (1984)

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Danny Rose Quotes:

  • Danny Rose: May I interject one statement at this juncture? And I don't mean to be didactic or facetious in any way...

  • Danny Rose: You know what my philosophy of life is? That it's important to have some laughs, but you gotta suffer a little too, because otherwise you miss the whole point to life.

  • Danny Rose: My rabbi, Rabbi Perlstein, used to say we're all guilty in the eyes of God.

    Tina Vitale: Do you believe in God?

    Danny Rose: No, no. But I'm guilty over it.

  • Tina Vitale: They shot him in the eyes.

    Danny Rose: Oh my God, he's blind?

    Tina Vitale: He's dead...

    Danny Rose: Of course, the bullets would go right through...

  • Danny Rose: Take my Aunt Rose. Not a beautiful woman at all. She looked like something from a live bait store.

  • Danny Rose: I don't wanna badmouth the kid, but he's a horrible, dishonest, immoral louse. And I say that with all due respect.

  • Danny Rose: It's very important to be guilty. I'm guilty all the time and I never did anything.

  • Danny Rose: I don't see you folding balloons in joints, you're gonna be folding balloons in... colleges and universities!

  • Tina Vitale: [lost in New Jersey] Hey, wait a minute! I know where we are. These are the flatlands. My husband's friends used to dump bodies here.

    Danny Rose: Great. I'm sure you can show me all the points of cultural interest.

  • Danny Rose: The days before you'll go onstage you gotta look in the mirror and you gotta say your three S's: star, smile, strong!

  • [On why one of his acts can't perform]

    Danny Rose: The cat ate his bird. That comes under the Act of God clause.

  • Danny Rose: If you take my advice, you'll become one of the great balloon-folding acts of all time! Really, 'cause I don't just see you folding balloons in joints. You listen to me, you're gonna fold balloons at universities and colleges.

  • Danny Rose: [doing stand-up comedy] I drove up here today. I love driving. You run across so many interesting people.

  • Danny Rose: Don't forget to do "My Funny Valentine" with the special lyrics about the moon landing.

  • Tina Vitale: I like it when he takes the microphone off the stand and sort of throws the microphone from hand to hand.

    Danny Rose: That's my gesture. I gave him that.

    Tina Vitale: Years ago he took the microphone off the stand.

    Danny Rose: But he didn't throw it from hand to hand. I used to do that in nightclub acts.

    Tina Vitale: So you taught him to throw the microphone from hand to hand...

    Danny Rose: I taught him everything he knows.

  • Danny Rose: [asks about her ex-husband] What'd you do, you divorced him, or got a separation, or what?

    Tina Vitale: Nah, some guy shot him in the eyes.

    Danny Rose: Really? He's blind?

    Tina Vitale: Dead.

    Danny Rose: Dead. Of course, 'cause the bullets go right through.

  • [Trying to get a booking for a client]

    Danny Rose: My hand to God, she's gonna be at Carnegie Hall. But you - I'll let you have her now at the old price, OK? Which is, which is anything you wanna give me. Anything at all.

  • Danny Rose: I need a valium the size of a hockey puck.

  • Danny Rose: I don't wanna get my legs chopped off cos I do a guy a favour.

  • Danny Rose: [at dinner with Lou's family] How are you, darling? How old are you?

    Lou's Daughter: Twelve.

    Danny Rose: Twelve! Are you married?

  • Danny Rose: What is this, a Turkish whorehouse? I live here, darling!

  • Danny Rose: What do you do, Rocco?

    Rocco: Cement.

    Danny Rose: Cement?

    Rocco: I own a fleet of cement mixers.

    Danny Rose: Oh, no kidding. Isn't that a very big organized cr...

  • [repeated line]

    Danny Rose: Keep wriggling.

  • Danny Rose: No, no, no. I don't travel by water, it's against my religion. I'm a land locked Hebrew!

  • [repeated line]

    Danny Rose: I'm just the beard.

  • Danny Rose: I'll never gonna be Cary Grant. I don't care what anybody says.

  • Danny Rose: It's important to feel guilty. Otherwise, you're capable of terrible things.

  • Danny Rose: I know it's hard to take. Because we all want what we can't have in life.

Browse more character quotes from Broadway Danny Rose (1984)

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Characters on Broadway Danny Rose (1984)