Danny Maccabee Quotes in Just Go with It (2011)

Danny Maccabee: I need you to swim to Uncle Eddie. If you get to him without touching the bottom, we'll give you a dolphin cookie.

Maggie: Is that what your grandpa gave you?

Danny Maccabee: No, grandpa gave us something he'd call a Heineken.

Michael: I want one of those.

Danny Maccabee: No. Stick with the dolphin cookie.

Eddie: Yeah, they hurt less when they get thrown at your head. God, he was a sick man.

Danny Maccabee: Ooh, the Mafia stare down. Very good, Michael. We're here to negotiate. Do you have anything else you might like?

Michael: I want a flying pony.

Danny Maccabee: I want a flying pony, too, but they don't exist.

Michael: Then I want a regular pony. And I want to name him Nelson.

Danny Maccabee: How about a PlayStation 3 and we name him Nelson?

Michael: Keep talking.

Danny Maccabee: We'll include 4 video games.

Michael: Five games. I want the meeting with Blondie to be at J.D. McFunnigan's?

Danny Maccabee: How about Charlie Choo-Choos because it's right down the street from me?

Michael: You mention that slop-hole again, and I walk.

Palmer: [finds wedding ring in Danny's bag] What's this?

Danny Maccabee: A circle?

Palmer: You have kids?

Katherine: Huh? Hmmm?

Palmer: You have children?

Danny Maccabee: We have, sort of, a little bit of children right?

Danny Maccabee: Did you make this yourself?

Mrs. Harrington: Yes, I did.

Danny Maccabee: We're going to have to donate this to the Smithsonian, good job.

Maggie: Can I do an accent?

Danny Maccabee: Give me your best shot.

Maggie: [British accent] Hello.

Danny Maccabee: No.

Palmer: What's her name?

Danny Maccabee: Mrs. Maccabee. You mean her first name? Her first name is Devlin.

Palmer: Her first name is Devlin?

Danny Maccabee: Yeah, I know. Isn't that a shitty name?

Maggie: [British accent] Hello, Dr. Danny. How are you today?

Danny Maccabee: What's with the accent?

Katherine: She's been working on some accents.

Maggie: I'll be taking acting classes and become the next Miley Cyrus. Yes, I am.

Danny Maccabee: How about you there, do you like Hannah Montana?

Michael: No, I'm more into Californication.

Katherine: When do you ever watch Californication?

Maggie: Rose lets us watch Showtime when she calls her boyfriend.

Danny Maccabee: Where does the name Devlin come from?

Katherine: She was an old sorority sister from college. She was my friend, yet I hated her.

Danny Maccabee: A frenemy.

Katherine: Anyway, I got tired to them saying "I have to take a crap" and "I have to take a dump". So I told them it was called a Devlin. And they liked it. And it stuck.

[Ian picks up a coconut with his butt]

Danny Maccabee: That's not fair. He can't do that.

Tanner Patrick: No, that's a clean pick-up right there.

Palmer: I can't wait to Twitter this to all my friends.

Katherine: Oh, I forgot, you're 15.

[Danny accidentally kicks Palmer with the intention of kicking Katherine]

Palmer: Ouch! Did you just kick me?

Danny Maccabee: No I did not. Did you just kick her? Why did you kick her?

Fat Kid: Mommy! That man put his pee-pee on my face!

Danny Maccabee: What? He put his face in my pee-pee!

Hot Bar Girl: Where's your wife tonight?

Danny Maccabee: [lying] I stopped asking that question a long time ago.

Danny Maccabee: You dropped your purse.

Joanna Damon: Can I sit for ten seconds without getting hit on? Thank you.

Danny Maccabee: I was just letting you know you dropped your purse.

Ian Maxtone Jones: I love the way you smell. Nothing smells as good as Devlin.

Danny Maccabee: Smelling Devlin, always a good thing.