Dakin Quotes in The History Boys (2006)

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Dakin Quotes:

  • [about Irwin]

    Dakin: Foreskins and stuff. "Oh, sir, you devil!"

    Scripps: Have a heart. He's only five minutes older than we are.

  • Timms: You've got crap handwriting, sir!

    Tom Irwin: It's your eyesight that's bad, and we know what that's caused by.

    Timms: Sir! Is that a coded reference to the mythical dangers of self-abuse?

    Tom Irwin: Possibly. It might even be a joke.

    Dakin: A joke, sir. Oh. Are jokes going to be a feature, sir? We need to know as it affects our mindset.

  • Scripps: What makes you think he'd do it with you?

    [Dakin smiles]

    Scripps: You complacent fuck.

    Dakin: Does the Archbishop of Canterbury know you talk like this?

  • [about religion]

    Scripps: It's what you don't do.

    Dakin: You don't *not wank*? Jesus, you're headed for the bin.

    Scripps: It's not for ever.

    Dakin: Yeah? Well, tell me on the big day and I'll stand well back.

  • [Fiona walks past. Dakin and Scripps gaze lustfully at her]

    Dakin: Lecher though one is - or aspires to be - it occurs to me that the lot of woman cannot be easy, who must suffer such inexpert male fumblings, virtually on a daily basis. Are we scarred for life, do you think?

    Scripps: We must hope so.

  • Dakin: I'm just kicking the tyres on this one but, further to the drink, what I was really wondering was whether there were any circumstances in which there was any chance of your sucking me off... Or something similar... Actually, that would please Hector.

    Tom Irwin: What?

    Dakin: "Your sucking me off". It's a gerund. He likes gerunds. And "your being scared shitless", that's another gerund.

  • Tom Irwin: I didn't know you were that way inclined.

    Dakin: I'm not, but it's the end of term; I've got into Oxford; I though we might push the boat out.

  • Dakin: I just wanted to say thank you.

    Scripps: So? Give him a subscription to The Spectator or a box of Black Magic. Just because you've got a scholarship doesn't mean you've got to give him unfettered access to your dick.

  • Dakin: How do you think history happens?

    Tom Irwin: What?

    Dakin: How does stuff happen, do you think? People decide to do stuff. Make moves. Alter things.

    Tom Irwin: I'm not sure what you're talking about.

    Dakin: No? Think about it.

    Tom Irwin: Some do... make moves, I suppose. Others react to events. In 1939 Hitler made a move on Poland. Poland defended itself.

    Dakin: ...gave in.

    Tom Irwin: Is that what you mean?

    Dakin: No. Not Poland anyway. Was Poland taken by surprise?

    Tom Irwin: To some extent. Though they knew something was up.

  • Dakin: Next week? Get this man - "You can suck me off next week"! I've heard of a busy schedule but this is ridiculous. God, we've got a long way to go. Do you ever take your glasses off?

    Tom Irwin: Why?

    Dakin: It's a start.

    Tom Irwin: Not with me. Taking off my glasses is the last thing I do.

    Dakin: Yeh? I'll look forward to it.

  • [about Dakin/Irwin]

    Dakin: So how would you say thank you?

    Scripps: Same as you probably. On my knees.

  • Dakin: Don't think we're shocked by your mentioning the word "foreskin," sir.

    Crowther: No, sir. Some of us even have them.

    Lockwood: Not Posner though, 'cause he's, well, Jewish. It's one of several things he doesn't have.

    Posner: Fuck off.

    Lockwood: That's not racist, though.

    Crowther: No?

    Lockwood: It's race-related... but not racist.

  • Dakin: I'm beginning to like him more.

    Posner: [hopefully] Who? Me?

    Dakin: [contemptuously] Irwin. Though he hates me.

  • Dakin: The more you read, though, the more you'll see that literature is actually about losers.

    Scripps: No.

    Dakin: It's consolation. All literature is consolation.

  • Dakin: What happened with Hector? On the bike?

    Scripps: As per. Except I managed to get my bag down. I think he thought he'd got me going. In fact it was my Tudor Economic Documents, Volume 2.

  • [as Irwin prepares to get on Hector's bike]

    Dakin: Do you want my Tudor Economic Documents?

  • [Dakin is groping Fiona, using World War I as a metaphor for his "assault" on her body. He moves his hand up her thighs but she pushes it away]

    Dakin: What's the matter?

    Fiona: No-man's land.

    Dakin: Ah, fuck. What do I do with this?

    [he points to his erection]

    Fiona: Carry out a controlled explosion?

  • Dakin: [V/O] "How does history happen?" I asked Irwin. And he couldn't answer me. But now he knew. Nothing special.

Browse more character quotes from The History Boys (2006)

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