Daffy Duck Quotes in Looney Tunes: Back in Action (2003)


Daffy Duck Quotes:

  • DJ Drake: This security guard thing, that's just what I do for money. I'm a... I'm a stuntman.

    Daffy Duck: You? A stuntman? Please.

    DJ Drake: I am! Did you see those "Mummy" movies? I'm in there more than Brendan Fraser is!

  • Daffy Duck: You live with Daddy?

    DJ Drake: Yeah, so? only... temporarily...

    Daffy Duck: Oh, I've hit rock-bottom. I'm hanging out with a security guard who lives with his father.

  • [Bugs Bunny is outside of the ship fighting Marvin the Martian. Daffy is cringing inside the ship, sucking his thumb]

    Daffy Duck: What am I gonna do? What would Damian Drake do? What would Duck Dodgers do?... Wait a minute, *I'm* Duck Dodgers!

    [Daffy "spins" into his Duck Dodgers costume]

    Daffy Duck: Aha! I'm going to be the hero of this picture!

    [Then Daffy straps one of five rockets on]

    Daffy Duck: Duck Dodgers to the rescue!

    [the rocket blows up. Daffy straps on the second rocket]

    Daffy Duck: [dazed] Duck Dodgers to the...

    [the rocket blows up. Daffy straps on the third rocket]

    Daffy Duck: [dazed] Duck Dodge...

    [the rocket blows up. Daffy turns and LOOKS at the fourth rocket]

    Daffy Duck: Duck...

    [the rocket blows up]

    Daffy Duck: [Daffy suddenly appears outside the ship with the last rocket strapped on, working]

    Daffy Duck: It's "You-Know-Who" to the rescue!

    [to the audience]

    Daffy Duck: It helps if you don't say the name.

  • [the bad guys threaten our heroes with TNT]

    Kate Houghton: Who has *dynamite*?

    Daffy Duck: Welcome to *my* world.

  • Daffy Duck: Okay, Toots, hand over the diamond.

    Dusty Tails: [to herself after pushing DJ out the door] He brought a goose?

    Daffy Duck: It's "duck", thank you.

  • Bugs Bunny: Eh, what gives, doc? We made thirty-five pictures togetha'.

    Elmer Fudd: Well, as it turns out, I'm secwetwy evil.

    Daffy Duck: That's showbiz for ya!

    Elmer Fudd: Now, make with da the card; so I can pwease my dark masters!

  • [Dusty comes out in a shiny black outfit]

    Daffy Duck: How many galoshes died to make *that* little number?

  • Daffy Duck: That's not boxing. Bite his ear.

  • Daffy Duck: [Daffy and DJ try escape in DJ's beat-up car] All right, let's see what this baby can really do.

    Daffy Duck: [DJ tries to start the car and it falls apart] Now that's an interesting feature.

  • Daffy Duck: You'd never catch that rabbit doing something this heroic.

    Bugs Bunny: [appearing in the seat next to Daffy] Eh, what's up, duck?

    Daffy Duck: You're dethpicable.

  • [as the spy car plummets to earth, Daffy calls his stockbroker on his cellphone]

    Daffy Duck: Sell all my Warner Brothers stock! I got an inside tip that Bugs Bunny's about to die!

  • Kate Houghton: I need you to eject this duck.

    DJ Drake: Lady, this is Daffy Duck.

    Kate Houghton: Not anymore; we own the name.

    Daffy Duck: Oh yeah? Well, you can't stop ME from calling myself D-(gasp)... D-(gasp)... well, whatayaknow.

  • Daffy Duck: [spotting the Blue Monkey diamond] I'm rich. I'm affluent. My liquidity is assured.

  • Daffy Duck: I'm afraid the brothers Warner must choose between a handsome matinee idol, or this miscreant perpetrator of low burlesque.

    [points at Bugs, who is wearing Groucho glasses and a spinning bowtie; everyone laughs]

    Mr. Warner's Brother: Whichever one's not the duck.

  • DJ Drake: [to Kate] You.

    Kate Houghton: [to DJ] You.

    Daffy Duck: [to Bugs] You.

    Bugs Bunny: [about DJ] Him.

    Daffy Duck: [about Kate] Her.

    Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck: Them.

  • Bugs Bunny: I'm tellin ya, Daffy, I heard the Warner Brothers say that you were their best duck.

    Daffy Duck: Flattered though I may be, flattened I will not, in order for you to get the laughs! It's all "woo-hoo, yuk yuk", and then "wham, bam, blam!"

    [whacks himself around for added emphasis]

    Bugs Bunny: And your tail's on fire.

    Daffy Duck: Exactly my point! I...

    Bugs Bunny: No, I mean your tail's on fire.

    [Daffy sees that his tail IS on fire - he runs around trying to extinguish it - Bugs laughs]

    Bugs Bunny: Daff, you're accident prone.

    [Daffy finally puts out his tail]

    Daffy Duck: Oh, what am I talking to you for? All you have to do is munch on a carrot and people love you.

  • [Bugs and Daffy crash-land their spaceship through the window of Acme HQ, then walk away unscathed]

    Bugs Bunny: I think we scratched it.

    Daffy Duck: Who cares, it's a rental.

  • [DJ and Yosemite Sam follow the Queen of Diamonds playing card to Foghorn Leghorn's blackjack table, where it gets shuffled into the deck]

    Foghorn Leghorn: Place, I say, place your bets! Money plays, loser stays! Everyone's a winn - well, not everyone.

    Yosemite Sam: [Drops a bag of money on the table] Here's my money, now play!

    Foghorn Leghorn: Card, sir?

    DJ Drake: Hit me.

    Foghorn Leghorn: Don'cha, I say, don'cha wanna look at your cards first, son? Boy's as sharp as a bowling ball.

    DJ Drake: [looks at the card; it's an ace] Hit me.

    Yosemite Sam: No, hit me first!

    Foghorn Leghorn: Wait your, I saya wait your turn, sir.

    [deals another ace to DJ]

    DJ Drake: Hit me.

    [Foghorn deals another ace]

    DJ Drake: Hit me.

    Yosemite Sam: No, hit me!

    [Foghorn continues to deal aces and twos to DJ. Sam can't take it anymore]

    Yosemite Sam: No, no, no, hit ME, fragnabbit!

    [Foghorn glances at the audience, then smashes Sam in the head with a piece of wood. Squashed, Sam scuttles around the table, cursing unintelligibly]

    Foghorn Leghorn: He's the boss.

    [Back to DJ]

    Foghorn Leghorn: Card Sir?

    [DJ winces at the possibility of himself getting hit as well]

    DJ Drake: [unsure] ... Hit me?

    [Foghorn finally deals the Queen of Diamonds; DJ snatches it off the table]

    Foghorn Leghorn: Twenty-one! We have, I say we have a winner!

    [DJ and Daffy break for the door]

    Daffy Duck: And then, they made their heroic escape!

    [Daffy runs facefirst into the door that isn't open. DJ comes back, peels Daffy off, and exits again]

  • Daffy Duck: What a fantastic view.

    Bugs Bunny: Unless you're in the audience in which case you've been staring at an elephant's behind for 30 seconds.

  • Bugs Bunny: All those in favour of us *not* hitting that wall, say 'aye'.

    Kate HoughtonDJ DrakeDaffy Duck: Aye!

    Daffy Duck: Mother!

    Spy Car Computer: Taking you to Mother!

  • [Bugs, flying alongside Marvin, points to a map, and signals for Marvin to lower his window]

    Marvin the Martian: Earthlings have no sense of direction!

    [Marvin lowers the window, and is sucked out into space]

    Daffy Duck: Well, what do you know, he fell for it. I guess I owe you $5!

  • Daffy Duck: Say, that's the stuff from my office.

    Mr. Warner: You don't have an office.

    Mr. Warner's Brother: Not any more.

    Daffy Duck: Symbolically, this is bad. Come on, Brother? Other Brother? Icy she-wolf? You can't fire me. I'm too young and tender to retire.

    Kate Houghton: Let me escort you out.

    Daffy Duck: Wait! I haven't tried toadying, kowtowing and butt-kissing yet! I'm still begging here!

  • Daffy Duck: Smell that, DJ? That's the sweet aroma of money, glamour, and busload upon busload of senior citizens.

    DJ Drake: Cool it, duck. This could be dangerous.

    Daffy Duck: Right, we find Dusty Tails, save your dad, get the diamond, apply kung-fu liberally as needed.

  • [a Wal-Mart appears in the desert]

    Bugs Bunny: Is that a mirage, or just product placement?

    Daffy Duck: Oh, who cares, with shopping convenience at such low prices? Water! Fresca! Mountain Dew! Your Product Name Here!

    DJ Drake: Is this your idea?

    Kate Houghton: The audience expects it. They don't even notice this kind of thing anymore.

  • Daffy Duck: Why, D.J.? Why you? Why wasn't it me? - Just academic curiosity, you understand.

  • DJ Drake: What brings you to Las Vegas. You ran out of people to fire in LA?

    Kate Houghton: You stole my duck.

    Daffy Duck: Your duck? Bah! I belong to the world.

    DJ Drake: You know what? You can have him.

  • Daffy Duck: I don't know the meaning of the word fear.

    [opens door to find Yosemite Sam aiming a cannon at him]

    Yosemite Sam: Say your prayers, duck!

    Daffy Duck: Fear: Noun. A state of terror. Yaaaaah!

  • [the aliens in Area 52 are surrounding them]

    Daffy Duck: Yipes! Illegal aliens!

    Dalek: Exterminate Them!

  • [the group is lost in the desert]

    Bugs Bunny: I told you we should've taken that left turn at Albuquerque.

    Daffy Duck: Now don't start that again.

  • [the Toons gather around Judge Doom's remains]

    Mickey Mouse: Gosh, I wonder who he really was?

    Bugs Bunny: I'll tell you one thing, Doc. He weren't no rabbit.

    Daffy Duck: Or a duck.

    Goofy: Or a dog.

    Pinocchio: Or a little wooden boy.

    Big Bad Wolf: Or a... sheep.

    Woody Woodpecker: Or a woodpecker.

    Sylvester: Or a pussy.

  • Daffy Duck: I've worked with a lot of withe-quackerth, but you are dethpicable

    Donald F. Duck: Doggone stubborn little- That did it! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

    Daffy Duck: Thith ith the latht time I work with thomeone with a th-peech impediment.

    Donald F. Duck: Oh, yeah?

    Donald F. Duck: [shuts Daffy in a piano]

    Daffy Duck: Thith meanth war.

  • [Donald and Daffy are playing "Hungarian Rhapsody #2" in a session of dueling pianos]

    Donald F. Duck: Hey, hey! Cut it out!

    Daffy Duck: Doeth anybody underthtand what thith duck ith thaying?

  • Michael Jordan: Whatever you do, don't forget my North Carolina shorts.

    Daffy Duck: Your shorts? From college?

    Michael Jordan: I wore them under my Chicago Bulls uniform every game.

    Looney Tunes: Eeewwww!

    Michael Jordan: Hey! I washed them after every game!

    Sylvester: Sure...

    Michael Jordan: I did!

  • Daffy Duck: You think she's got enough toys?

    Bugs: Speaking of toys, remember those mugs and t-shoits and lunchboxes with our pictures on 'em?

    Daffy Duck: Yeah.

    Bugs: You ever see any money from all that stuff?

    Daffy Duck: Hah, not a cent!

    Bugs: Hmm... me neither.

    Daffy Duck: [sighs] It's a crying shame. We gotta get new agents, we're gettin' screwed!

  • Stan Podalak: Let me help! Let me help! I can help! I can help!

    Michael Jordan: What can you do?

    Stan Podalak: Well, I may not be very tall, but... I'm slow.

    Sylvester: And large.

    Daffy Duck: And a dork.

  • Daffy Duck: Mother!

  • Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the starting lineup for the Toon Squad: Standing two foot four, The Wonder from Down Under: The Tasmanian Devil!

    [Taz squeezes two balls in his mouth, pops them, and spins around]

    Announcer: At small forward: standing a scintillating three foot two, The Heartthrob of the Hoops: Lola Bunny!

    [Lola dribbles and spins the ball on her finger]

    Announcer: At power forward, The Quackster of the Court: Daffy Duck!

    Daffy Duck: Thank you! Thank you!

    [Silence from the audience, crickets chirping]

    Daffy Duck: [disappointed, but sarcastically] Very funny. Leth's all laugh at the duck!

    Announcer: And the point guard, standing three foot three, four feet if you include the ears, Co-captain of the toon squad, the Doctor of Delight: Bugs Bunny!

    Bugs: Thank you! Thank you!

    Announcer: And now, the player coach of the Toon Squad, at six foot six from North Carolina, his Royal Airness: Michael Jordan!

  • Daffy Duck: Too bad you can't practice getting taller, boys.

  • Bill Murray: Okay, here's how I see it. Duck?

    Daffy Duck: Yes.

    Bill Murray: You kick it in to the girl bunny. Down in the post. Then you dish it back out to the guy bunny.

    Lola Bunny: Got it.

    Bill Murray: Swing it around to Mike, over here. You go to the hole and dominate!

    Michael Jordan: Bill! We're on defense!

    Bill Murray: Whoa ho ho! I don't play defense. Okay, you're gonna have to listen to Mike on this guys, listen up.

    Michael Jordan: Okay, somebody steal the ball, give it to me, and I'll score before time runs out.

    Bill Murray: Don't lose that confidence, okay, paws and wings in here, all right!

  • Daffy Duck: But Mommy, I don't want to go to school today. I wanna stay home and bake cookies with you!

  • Daffy Duck: Very funny. Leth's all laugh at the duck.

  • Daffy Duck: Oh, fear clutches my breast!

  • Daffy Duck: [after Stan enters the Toon Squad dressing room burned to a crisp by the Monstars] Looks like Stan just had a close encounter with a bug zapper.

  • Daffy Duck: [On the court opposite of Monstar Bupkus as he's about to pass it to Monstar Pound with a football helmet on] It's gut-check time!

    [His legs quickly jerk back and forth with the sound of a gun cocking, then once it's passed to Monstar Pound, he charges headfirst into his gut, making him drop the ball and it bounces towards Bill Murray]

    Bill Murray: This must be mine!

    [Picks it up and heads up court as Monstar Nawt goes in front of him]

    Bill Murray: This belongs to me. I'm going left! I'm going left! I'm going left!

    [Quickly passes the ball to the right where Michael Jordan catches it]

    Bill Murray: Don't ever trust an Earthling!

  • Daffy Duck: l have, Coach. And there's an important question l must ask you.

  • Daffy Duck: Too bad you can't practice getting taller, boys.

  • Daffy Duck: So, what do you say we go for a little spin? Let's see what we got inside here.

  • Daffy Duck: What a way for a duck to travel, underground.

  • Daffy Duck: Since when is Pismo Beach inside a cave?

  • Daffy Duck: [demanding the unseen animator to show himself] All Right! I've had enough of this. This is the final, final Straw-WHO'S RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS! I DEMAND THAT YOU SHOW YOURSELF! WHO ARE YOU? HUH?

    [the animator draws a door in front of Daffy and shuts it, then he reveals himself as BUGS BUNNY!]

    Bugs Bunny: Heh!Heh! Ain't I a stinker?

  • Daffy Duck: All right! Let's get this picture started!

    [a black screen with a "THE END" sign appears]

  • [Bugs and Daffy are trying to convince Elmer to shoot the other and make a meal out of him]

    Elmer Fudd: I'm sorry fellas, but I'm a vegetarian. I just hunt for the sport of it. Ha ha ha ha ha.

    Bugs Bunny: Oh yeah! Well there's other sports besides hunting, you know!

    [Daffy appears in a tennis outfit]

    Daffy Duck: Anyone for tennis.

    [Elmer shoots him]

    Daffy Duck: Nice game.

  • Daffy Duck: [as Duck Dodgers, arriving on Planet X] I claim this planet in the name of the Earth!

    Marvin the Martian: [also arriving on Planet X] I claim this planet in the name of Mars! Isn't that lovely, hmm?

  • Daffy Duck: Thanks for the sour persimmons, cousin.

  • Dr I.Q. Hi: Can you do it, Dodgers?

    Daffy Duck: Oh, indubitabooblyoobly sir. Because there's nobody knows his way round outer space like Duck Dodgers in the 24th and a half century!

  • [Daffy is rescued after being forced to lay golden eggs]

    Bugs Bunny: Is there anything we can get for you, old chap?

    Daffy Duck: Yes. Get me a proctologist, right away.

  • Daffy Duck: Well I'm here, what've I missed? Massacre started yet? Fireworks going off? Balloon going up?

  • Bugs Bunny: Well what do ya know! He melted. He really was a snowman!

    Daffy Duck: Abominable, that is.

  • Daffy Duck: Oh Bugsy! Bugsy buddy!

    Bugs Bunny: Oh hi, uh, what's up, Duck?

    Daffy Duck: Come here old pal, hm?

    Hugo the Abominable Snowman: [picks up Bugs Bunny] My OWN little bunny rabbit, d'oy.

    Bugs Bunny: Hey! An abominabuble snowman!

    Hugo the Abominable Snowman: I will name him George, and I will hug him, and pet him...

    Daffy Duck: Oh sure, I know I'm a louse, but I'm a live louse.

    Hugo the Abominable Snowman: And I will give him security! And I will keep him warm like a mother hen, so he will never feel rejected or lack for love.

    Daffy Duck: Poor old Bugs. But, anyway you look at it, it's better HE should suffer. After all, it was me or him, and obviously it couldn't be me. It's a simple matter of logic. I'm not like other people, I can't stand pain, it hurts me.

  • Butler: [answers door] Yeeeessss?

    Daffy Duck: Your troubles are over, Jeeves! Leave me to your stricken master.

    Butler: Be gone!

    Daffy Duck: Can't go in, huh?

    Butler: Eeh, no.

    Daffy Duck: Ohwell, no hard feelings, shake.

    [shocks Butler with hand buzzer, squirts him with flower, hits him in the face with a cigarette box, and tickles him]

    Butler: [laughing] Oh oh, you can see him, you can see him! Right this way.

  • Daffy Duck: It all adds up. You and the upstairs maid, 'do the old boy in' you said, 'elderberry wine and old lace' you said, 'then, the quick getaway' you said. Champagne nights, tropical music and a heavy bank account!

    Butler: No no!

    Daffy Duck: Yes yes! But you weren't clever enough, were you John, alias Johnny, alias Jack, alias Jackie? Whew! What's Humphrey Bogart got that I ain't got?

  • Daffy Duck: Alright, what's holdin' up the works. What's all the... the... huh.

    [sees Abominable Snowman]

    Daffy Duck: Aaahh!

    Hugo the Abominable Snowman: D'oh! What a cute little pink bunny rabbit.

    [picks up Daffy]

    Hugo the Abominable Snowman: Just what I always wanted. My own little bunny rabbit! I will name him George, and I will hug him, and pet him, and squeeze him.

    Daffy Duck: I'm not a bunny rabbit.

    Hugo the Abominable Snowman: And pat him, and pet him, and...

    Daffy Duck: You're hurting me... put me down, please.

    Hugo the Abominable Snowman: And rub him, and caress him, and...

    Daffy Duck: I AIN'T NO BUNNY RABBIT!

    Hugo the Abominable Snowman: Not a bunny rabbit, George? Then how come you have long ears, how come?

    Daffy Duck: Long ears? Ooh!


    Daffy Duck: Those aren't ears, those are sleeves! So, now put me down, please, huh?

    Hugo the Abominable Snowman: Oh George... you were naughty to pretend you was a bunny rabbit. I will punish you good. Bad old George!

  • Bugs Bunny: Ok Abom, here's your bunny rabbit.

    Hugo the Abominable Snowman: D'oya... bunny rabbit... George?

    Daffy Duck: Bunny rabbit, me?

    Bugs Bunny: Yes, you, Doc.

    Daffy Duck: Ho ho, very funny, ha ha, very droll. Hey, shorty! What do you consider to be the distinguishing characteristics of a rabbit?

    Hugo the Abominable Snowman: D'oy... distinguishing... character...

    Daffy Duck: Yeah, yeah, what makes a rabbit look like a rabbit?

    Hugo the Abominable Snowman: Why, d'uh, d'uh, long ears!

    Daffy Duck: And whom around here has long ears?

    [to Bugs]

    Daffy Duck: Sorry to hafta do this to ya, bud.

    Bugs Bunny: [ties ears down around face] Eh, don't give it a second thought.

    Hugo the Abominable Snowman: [picks up Daffy] Oh boy! Just what I always wanted! My own little bunny rabbit! I will...

    Bugs Bunny: They really do make a charming couple.

    Hugo the Abominable Snowman: ...and pet him, and squeeze him, and rub him, and stroke his bill, and rub his pretty feathers... Hey, wait a minute. Bunny rabbits don't have feathers and bills.

    Daffy Duck: I know, I know.

    [pointing at Bugs, who is tunneling away]

    Daffy Duck: There's goes your bunny rabbit!

    Hugo the Abominable Snowman: Hey, uh, George, wait!

    [tunnels after Bugs]

    Daffy Duck: Ho ho, look out, bunny rabbit! This I gotta see.

    [tunnels after Bugs and Hugo]

  • Possessed Duck-Woman: Ou-yay upid-stay erk-jay!

    [Pig Latin for "You stupid jerk"]

    Daffy Duck: And I thought French was a romantic language!

    Possessed Duck-Woman: Mary had a little lamb...

    [turns into a demon]

    Possessed Duck-Woman: But I *ate* it!

  • Daffy Duck: You wasted a wish! I wish that burrito was stuck on your big dumb nose!

    Speedy Gonzales: [The burrito appears on his nose] Help! Get it off. I can't breathe nothing but burrito!

    Daffy Duck: Well Sam, it looks like we'll have to use your wish to get the burrito off his nose. It's the only humane thing to do. Sam? Sam?

    Yosemite Sam: Too late, Duck, I already wished for a pirate ship. After I sinks a certain pesky rabbit, I'll come back and pick you up!

  • Daffy Duck: You're despicable!

  • Daffy Duck: Long, isn't it?

  • Daffy Duck: Patently ridiculous.

  • Daffy Duck: Still lurking about? Don't you people have homes?

Browse more character quotes from Looney Tunes: Back in Action (2003)