Cuthbert J. Twillie Quotes in My Little Chickadee (1940)


Cuthbert J. Twillie Quotes:

  • Cuthbert J. Twillie: May I present my card?

    Flower Belle Lee: 'Novelties and Notions.' What kind of notions you got?

    Cuthbert J. Twillie: You'd be surprised. Some are old, some are new. Whom have I the honor of addressing, m'lady?

    Flower Belle Lee: Mmm, they call me Flower Belle.

    Cuthbert J. Twillie: Flower Belle, what a euphonious appellation. Easy on the ears and a banquet for the eyes.

    Flower Belle Lee: You're kinda cute yourself.

    Cuthbert J. Twillie: Thank you. I never argue with a lady.

    Flower Belle Lee: Smart boy.

  • Cousin Zeb: Uh, is this a game of chance?

    Cuthbert J. Twillie: Not the way *I* play it, no.

  • Cuthbert J. Twillie: Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.

  • [the town mob is about to lynch Twillie]

    Cuthbert J. Twillie: I'd like to see Paris before I die... Philadelphia will do.

  • Cuthbert J. Twillie: Tell me, prairie flower, can you give me the inside info on yon damsel with the hothouse cognomen?

    Mrs. Gideon: Do you mean Miss Flower Belle Lee?

    Cuthbert J. Twillie: I don't mean some woman out in China.

    Mrs. Gideon: Well! I'm afraid I can't say anything good about her.

    Cuthbert J. Twillie: I can see what's good. Tell me the rest.

  • Milton: Big chief gottum new squaw?

    Cuthbert J. Twillie: "New" is right. She hasn't been unwrapped yet.

  • Cuthbert J. Twillie: During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. Compelled to live on food and water...

    Gambler: Will you play cards!

    Cuthbert J. Twillie: ...for several days.

  • Barfly drinking straight whiskey: Squawk Mulligan tells me you buried your wife several years ago.

    Cuthbert J. Twillie: Ah, yes. I had to. She died.

  • Cuthbert J. Twillie: If a thing is worth having, it's worth cheating for.

  • Cuthbert J. Twillie: I'm tending bar one time down in the lower East side in New York... a tough felona comes in there by the name of Chicago Molly. I cautioned her, "None of your peccadilloes in here." There was some hot lunch on the bar comprising of succotash, Philadelphia cream cheese and asparagus with mayonnaise. She dips her mitt down into this melange - I'm yawning at the time - and she hits me right in the mug with it. I jumps over the bar and I knocks her down.

    Squawk Mulligan, bartender: [walks up] Where's the funnel?

    Cuthbert J. Twillie: I don't know. It's up along there somewhere. You were there the night I knocked Chicago Molly down, weren't you?

    Squawk Mulligan, bartender: YOU knocked her down? I was the one that knocked her down.

    Cuthbert J. Twillie: [to the barfly] Oh, yeah, yes, that's right. He knocked her down. But I was the one started kicking her!

    Squawk Mulligan, bartender: Here's the funnel.

    Cuthbert J. Twillie: [to Squawk] Yeah, OK.

    [to barfly]

    Cuthbert J. Twillie: I starts kicking her in the midriff. D'ja ever kick a woman in the midriff that had a pair of corsets on?

    Barfly drinking Panther: No, I just can't recall any such incident right now.

    Cuthbert J. Twillie: Why I almost broke my great toe. I never had such a painful experience.

    Barfly drinking Panther: Uh, did she ever come back again?

    Squawk Mulligan, bartender: I'll say she came back! She came back a week later and beat the both of us up.

    Cuthbert J. Twillie: Yeah. But she had another woman with her... an elderly lady with gray hair.

  • Mrs. Gideon: Ohhh! I hope that wasn't whiskey you were drinking.

    Cuthbert J. Twillie: Ah, no, dear, just a little sheep dip. Panacea for all stomach ailments.

  • Cuthbert J. Twillie: Come, my phlox, my flower! I have some very definite pear-shaped ideas that I'd like to discuss with thee.

  • Cuthbert J. Twillie: I will be all things to you: father, mother, husband, counselor, jackanapes, bartender...

    Flower Belle Lee: You're offering quite a bundle, honey.

    Cuthbert J. Twillie: My heart is a bargain today. Will you take me?

    [she sneaks a look at his satchel full of what she thinks is money]

    Flower Belle Lee: I'll take you - and how.

  • [last lines - each saying a line associated with the other]

    Cuthbert J. Twillie: If you get up around the Grampian Hills - You must come up and see me sometime.

    Flower Belle Lee: Ah, yeah, yeah, I'll do that, my little chickadee.

  • Mrs. Gideon: Was that chap dragging you across the prairie a full-blooded Indian?

    Cuthbert J. Twillie: Ah, quite the antithesis. He's very anemic.

  • Cuthbert J. Twillie: Babydoll, these weed-benders have been running off at the mouth... to your detriment.

    Flower Belle Lee: Hmmm, I ain't surprised. Bad news travels fast.

    Cuthbert J. Twillie: I understand you need a Cicero and guide.

    Flower Belle Lee: I need more than that, honey.

    [she places her arm on the seat back between them - he takes her hand]

    Cuthbert J. Twillie: Ah, what symmetrical digits! Soft as the fuzz of a baby's arm.

    Flower Belle Lee: But quick on the trigger.

    Cuthbert J. Twillie: Mmm, yes. Uh, may I?

    [kisses her fingers]

    Flower Belle Lee: Help yourself.

    Cuthbert J. Twillie: Would you object if I avail myself of a second helping?

    Flower Belle Lee: Don't you think you're a little forward on such short acquaintance? You're compromising me.

  • [to the hotel porter]

    Cuthbert J. Twillie: By the way, my ski shoes and hockey mask will be up on the next train along with the polo pony. I understand the countryside abounds here with wild game: flamingoes... wine wombats... Indian civets.

  • Cuthbert J. Twillie: I've been worried about you, my little peachfuzz. Have you been loitering somewhere?

    Flower Belle Lee: I've been learning things.

    Cuthbert J. Twillie: Unnecessary! You are the epitome of erudition... a double superlative. Can you handle it?

    Flower Belle Lee: Yeah, and I can kick it around, too.

  • Cuthbert J. Twillie: [to goat in his bed] Godfrey Daniel! Beelzebub! I've been hoodwinked. Shadrach and Abednego! The mystery of the fur coat. And I wanted to kiss you!

  • Milton: [Outside the hotel] Hmm... Must be Big Chief's new teepee.

    Cuthbert J. Twillie: Milton, my brave, go upstairs and park your stoical presence outside the teepee of Mrs. Twillie. Number 8. I'll proceed to the local gin mill, and absorb a beaker of firewater.

    Milton: Big Chief gottum new squaw?

    Cuthbert J. Twillie: "New" is right: she hasn't been unwrapped yet.

  • Cuthbert J. Twillie: [Loudly protesting his being forcibly thrown out of Jeff's bar for cheating at cards] Unhand me! I'm an American citizen! Unhand me! I'm a taxpayer! I shall write the 'Times' about this. Call me a barrister! Unhand me! Unhand me, you uncouth larrikins! This is sabotage! A crime against liberty!

  • Cuthbert J. Twillie: There's something sweet and dainty about a woman's boudoir.

    Flower Belle Lee: How do *you* know?

    Cuthbert J. Twillie: Ah... huh? Huh?

    Flower Belle Lee: Come on, answer the question.

    Cuthbert J. Twillie: Why, the latest etiquette books are just full of such knowledge!

    Flower Belle Lee: Oh... for a second I thought I heard the voice of experience.

  • Cuthbert J. Twillie: My boy, being sheriff of this town is pretty dangerous. The people here don't know the difference between the sheriff and a clay pigeon.

  • Cuthbert J. Twillie: [Wearing a large, funny-looking nightgown] Here I come, dear, ready or not! I feel rather parky, dear, in this diaphanous ubeitsehr.

  • Cuthbert J. Twillie: [Upon waking up with a bad hangover] What a conk! The two-headed boy in the circus never had such a headache. I think I'll write a book: 'The Art of Arising the Morning After'.

  • Milton: [Commenting on Twillie's hangover] Chief no feel good, huh?

    Cuthbert J. Twillie: I feel as though a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.

  • Cuthbert J. Twillie: [Parting with Flower Belle] Well, I have to hurry back east to attend to some oil wells I have there.

    Flower Belle Lee: [Surprised] Oil wells?

    Cuthbert J. Twillie: Yes, uh, 'hair oil' wells.

    Flower Belle Lee: [Chuckles, rolls her eyes] What a man!

Browse more character quotes from My Little Chickadee (1940)