Cricket Feldstein Quotes in Hamlet 2 (2008)

Cricket Feldstein: Well, this play is gonna bitch-slap Broadway like a cheap hooker at a gangbang.

Dana Marschz: Uh... yeah.

Cricket Feldstein: Y'know, and those Bible-humping protesters can suck a bag of dicks, 'cause all I ended up doing was giving you free publicity.

Dana Marschz: Yeah, and did you see my dressing room? It has a bidet!

Elisabeth Shue: That was a sink.

Dana Marschz: It was?

Cricket Feldstein: You wanna hit me? I would love it if you hit me! I'm married to a Jew, I've got nothing to lose!

Cricket Feldstein: No one is shutting down this play. The Justice Department and the so-called Supreme Court can suck my balls.

Dana Marschz: Why do they have to do this?

Cricket Feldstein: My balls?