Crawford Mackenzie Quotes in The Big Tease (1999)

Crawford Mackenzie: Sorry, Candy. I adore you, I really do. It's just that I prefer my women with a penis.

Crawford Mackenzie: [Crawford is showing off a new outfit] Just something I threw together. I call it... Braveheart meets Liberace-Bravache!

Stig: Hey, Scottish. From my salon, right?

Crawford Mackenzie: Yeah

Stig: Still looking for a job, eh?

Crawford Mackenzie: ...yeah

Stig: Hey, I tell you what. Next month, it's loser's day! You come back and I piss on your head!