Crank Quotes in The Hills Have Eyes II (2007)

Insurgent: America's mothers suck cocks!

Crank: What the fuck did you say?

Insurgent: Your American mothers suck cocks!

Crank: America's number one, bitch!

Crank: [referring to Hansel] You trust that guy?

Amber: He hid us from them. He didn't give us up.

Napoleon: We don't have any choice, we have to trust him.

Crank: Bullshit! God knows where he's taking us.

Delmar: To be honest with you, I'm not sure God knows anything about this place.

Mickey: Aw, Crank, you're taking all the fun out of the afterlife.

Crank: Shove the afterlife up your ass.

Stump: [climbing out the truck] Whoa, leg's asleep!

Crank: Dick's asleep.

Mickey: Wanna wake it up?

Crank: Nah, that's your daddy's job.

Madame Gasket: Who are these losers?

Fender: We, sir...

Madame Gasket: I'm a woman.

Crank: Ouch.

Fender: [Scottish accent] We've come to rescue our friend, you evil bag of bolts, and you shall be defeated by the very outmodes that you scorn and detest!

Crank: 'Cause there's seven of us and only one of...

[hundreds of minions appear from behind Madame Gasket]

Fender: Let's see, there's seven of us and... eight? Nine?

Crank: Did you count that one?

Fender: I think so. Will you all quit moving around? It's so frustrating! I think I counted one of you twice!

Crank: [Mr. Copperbottom is playing badly] Well there goes our happy ending.

Fender: Yo, it's a fusion of jazz and funk. It's called junk.

Rodney Copperbottom: Hey Fender.

[Rodney does arm farts]

Fender: Yeah Baby, let 'er rip!

[Rodney and Fender are doing arm farts]

Crank: What are you guys, 3 years old? This is how a man does it.

[Crank does arm farts]

Piper: You guys are SO gross! Besides, this is how you do it.

[Piper does arm farts]

Aunt Fanny: Hey kids, get a load of this...

[does BIG farts; Everyone is grossed out]

Piper: Aunt Fanny, we were using our arms!

Crank: Ugh, light a match!

Lamppost: Lady... please... see a doctor...

Lamppost: [the lamppost passes out]

Crank: Never try, never fail. Those are the words I live by.

Piper: Did I miss the butt wuppin'?

Piper, Crank, Fender, Rodney Copperbottom, Lug, Cappy: [surrounded by menacing machines, everyone freeze, staring and then move again] No.

Crank: Actually, you're a little early.

Piper: Am I too late for the butt-whooping?

Crank: Actually your a bit early.

Piper: Great!

Lug: Hey, Fender, have you lost weight?

Crank: Lost weight? Look at... will you look at... He's a head in a basket!

Crank: Oh, man! This is my third oil change today. Something's wrong with me.