Councilman Quotes in Billy Jack (1971)

Mr. Posner: Why did you read it?

Councilman: Were you taught this in school?

Drama Teacher: [shouts from audience] Because her brain has been damaged by the heathen devil weed, marijuana!

Councilman: When was the last time you cut your hair?

Drama Teacher: When was the time you brushed your teeth, sir?

Councilman: This is the chairman...

Horton: Idiot! You're finished in this town! Is that understood? Finished! You Boob!

[brief pause while the chairman splutters]

Horton: I'm just joking.

Councilman: Eh heh, good one.

The Mayor of Who-ville: Horton, I'd like you to meet my wife, Sally.

Sally O'Malley: You exist! This means my husband isn't crazy. Hooray!

The Mayor of Who-ville: And these are some of my daughters, Hildy, Helga, Hula, Heidi, and Hedy.

Hedy, Heidi, Hildy, Helga: Hi!

The Mayor of Who-ville: And this is Miss Yelp, my loyal assistant. And this is Dr. Larue.

Dr. Mary Lou Larue: You saved us!

The Mayor of Who-ville: And Burt from Accounting, and Mrs. McGillicuddy. And Mr. FarFloogin of the Cloogin FarFloogins. And the old man in the bathtub.

Sally O'Malley: Honey, let's not overwhelm the poor guy, he's never gonna remember all these names.

Horton: Well, I'll try my best: Sally, Chairman, Hildy, Helga, Hula, Heidi, and Hedy. Miss Yelp. Dr. Larue, Burt from accounting, Mrs. McGillicuddy, Mr. FarFloogin of the Cloogin FarFloogins. And wasn't there an old guy in a shower?

The Mayor of Who-ville: Mmm, Bathtub.

Horton: [a bit mad he didn't remember the name] Oh, Yeah!

Councilman: [to the mayor] Nothing ever goes wrong in WhoVille. Never has, never *will*. You bluthering boob.

Councilman: Who wants the festivities of the Who Centennial to proceed as planned?

[the people of WhoVille begin to cheer]

Councilman: And who wants to celebrate the Who Centennial, in an underground storage area?

Obnoxious Who: *Yeah!*

[first lines]

First Tradesman: [arguing over a goat] And I bought it when I went to the fair in Sylos. And this thief took it from under my nose. He even refused to trade. Just grabbed it as if it were his.

Second Tradesman: Your Highness, I can prove that I am the owner. My father presented this goat to Mother.

First Tradesman: Stop lying to his majesty or I'll break this staff over your skull.

Second Tradesman: Will you just go ahead and try it?

First Tradesman: I will... just as soon as King Laertes upholds my claim.

Laertes - Ithaca King: Why wait? Break it now.

Second Tradesman: He threatened me!

First Tradesman: How can he claim his father gave the goat to his mother? It's impossible. A goat couldn't live that long. It must have been a, a hundred years ago.

[the council members laugh]

Laertes - Ithaca King: You, settle this.

Councilman: Yes, Your Highness. I'll see to those two.

First Tradesman: He must have decided alread. Can I take it home now? I own it!

Councilman: Now, start all over again and talk one at a time.