Corporal Haywood Updike Quotes in The 25th Reich (2012)

Sargeant Carl Weaver: That box was the only thing salvageable. It was the heart of the ship - a quantum wave generator that buckled time and space like a Barnum & Bailey circus mirror.

Corporal Haywood Updike: And what's our mission, sir?

Sargeant Carl Weaver: Why, we're gonna fly that giant suppository back to 1943 and shove it up Adolf Hitler's ass.

Rifleman Roberto Barelli: Growin' up in Brooklyn, I seen a lot of ugly things... Protestants thumpin' Catholics, Catholics thumpin' Jews... Everyone runnin' their own stinkin' racket... Jeez, talk about organized religion.

Corporal Haywood Updike: What the hell kind of tune are you playin'?

Rifleman Roberto Barelli: I'm playin' Yankee Doodle Dandy. I'm playin' The Star Spangled Banner. And if we don't all start singin' from the same song book, then those Nazi bastards will have us singin' Lili Marleen.

Captain Donald O'Brian: You lying sack of shit! I'll see you court-marshalled for this!

Corporal Haywood Updike: Fuck you, you Jew faggot! I'll tear you a new asshole! The wop was dragged into the swamp nice and deep.

Sargeant Carl Weaver: Cut this shit out the both of you! This is a military operation! Any more insubordination, Corporal, and I'll discipline you personally.

Captain Donald O'Brian: [to Weaver] If you can't sling a leash around that asshole, then I will.