Corny Collins Quotes in Hairspray (2007)

Corny Collins: [singing] Who cares about sleep when you can snooze in school? You'll never get to college but you'll sure look cool!

Corny Collins: Roll Call!

Council Members: I'm Amber! Brad! Tammy! Fender! Brenda! Sketch! Shelley! IQ! Lou Ann! Joey! Mikey! Vicki! Becky! Bix! Jesse! Darla! Paulie! Noreen! Doreen! And I'm... Link!

Tracy Turnblad, Penny Pingleton: [scream from home in front of their TV]

Corny Collins: I'd like to welcome our new council member, Miss Tracy Turnblad! Tracy, cozy up to ol' Corny and tell us a little bit about yourself

Tracy Turnblad: Well, I watch the Corny Collins show everyday and I do nothing else!

Corny Collins: Oh!

Tracy Turnblad: I also hope to be the first female president... or a rockette!

Corny Collins: As your first act as president, what would you do?

Tracy Turnblad: Hmm...

[ponders]

Tracy Turnblad: ... I'd make everyday Negro Day!

Corny Collins: I read you like tomorrow's headlines!

Corny Collins: And now it's time to say goodbye to our very own fun-lovin', free-wheelin' little Brenda.

Corny Collins: [looks to Brenda] Come on up here, Brenda. Brenda will be taking a leave of absence from the show. How long are you gonna be gone, Brenda?

Brenda: [smiles nervously] Just nine months.

Velma Von Tussle: They're just kids, that's why we have to steer them in the white direction.

Corny Collins: [pause] RIGHT direction?

Velma Von Tussle: Isn't that what I said?

Corny Collins: Tell me, Velma, how exactly do you fire Corny Collins from the Corny Collins show?

[walks away]

Velma Von Tussle: [starts to speak and then pauses, frustrated] They do it all the time on "Lassie"!

Corny Collins: [at the conclusion of "It's Hairspray"] Hey, baby! You look like you could use a stiff one!

Corny Collins: Velma, isn't this where it's all heading anyway? Now you can fight it, or you can rock out to it!

Corny Collins: It looks like we have an opening here for another girl who is just as fun-lovin' but maybe not as free-wheelin'!