Cookie Fleck Quotes in Best in Show (2000)

Gerry Fleck: She had dozens of boyfriends.

Cookie Fleck: Hundreds.

Gerry Fleck: Hundreds?

Cookie Fleck: [Thinks] ... Yeah, hundreds.

Gerry Fleck: Well, I did not know that! Not that... Not that I didn't have quite the reputation myself. I was known by, you know, "some", to be quite the Casanova.

[On why he can't dance]

Gerry Fleck: I can't dance, I can't dance, I've got two left feet!

Cookie Fleck: I thought he was kidding.

Gerry Fleck: But I wasn't. I was born with two left feet.

Bulge: [interrupting Gerry and Cookie in the studio while they're recording] Cookie?

Cookie Fleck: Yeah?

Bulge: Cookie Guggleman?

Cookie Fleck: Yeah. Do I know you?

Bulge: Does this ring a bell?

[singsongs]

Bulge: "I'm not wearing underwear".

Cookie Fleck: Bulge? Get outta town!

[after Scott introduces himself as Mary and shows them the pants he hand-stitched]

Gerry Fleck: Well you must be very "proud Mary".

Scott Donlan: Oh my goodness. Who are you all of a sudden?

Stefan Vanderhoof: Good baby boomer gag.

Cookie Fleck: Who's that in the burgundy jacket? Mr Hip.

Hotel Manager: [handing back a credit card at check-in to the Flecks] I'm sorry, that card's been declined.

Cookie Fleck: Oh, no! That's the good card!

Malcolm: I've banged a lot of waitresses in my day, but you, you, you were the best.

Cookie Fleck: You don't forget the best.

Cookie Fleck: Did somebody put something down here so I would trip?

Cookie Fleck: Don't worry Gerry, I know where I'm at. But that was fun.

Cookie Fleck: How many years ago did he poke me?

Max Berman: I had a terrible day today. I can't get rid of it in my head. You know, you have a bad day - someone returns a sweater. I have a bad day - lives get lost. People lose their lives. I'm the chief hostage negotiator for the Akron and tri-county area and I talk people down. Whenever they get a jumper on a big building, they call me.

Gerry Fleck: How many people have you talked down? I mean, is there a...?

Max Berman: Well, they always jump. I've got news for you. It's a little secret from the trade. They all jump. But today, we had a tough one. There's a guy, he jumps... that doesn't bother me, it happens all the time. But you see, you think they drop like rocks. They don't. He hit a gargoyle on the way down. This guy gets his head caught in the gargoyle's mouth. The head...

[snaps his fingers]

Max Berman: pops off like a grape, the body continues to spin down like a whirligig. When they hit... everything pops out. It's like a piñata. The intestines, like they're spring-loaded... pop out!

[looks at Cookie]

Max Berman: You know, forgive me. I was actually... You know what? You know what I was just remembering - that time with you and me at the lake. The piñata. Remember?

Cookie Fleck: Was that you? Are you sure that was you?

Max Berman: I think you know who it was.

Gerry Fleck: [interrupting] Well, it was a long time ago, and...

Max Berman: It seems like last week, I'll tell you that. You wouldn't know, but she was famous for putting her legs behind her head. She could get both legs behind her head.

Gerry Fleck: He's like an animal!

Cookie Fleck: No, it's just talk! It's just talk.

Gerry Fleck: He's like an animal!

Fay Berman: Piñata? I don't know what a piñata is.

Gerry Fleck: [to Fay] I forgot to compliment you on your luscious melon breasts tonight. How does that sound?

Cookie Fleck: Oh, come on!

Max Berman: What the hell are you talking about now?

Fay Berman: [to Gerry] Thank you.

Max Berman: You know something, what you don't understand is... what do they say?... one picture is worth a thousand words. I only went through 125 or 130 words describing that. If I wanted to go on, I could go through 800 words more.

Gerry Fleck: Well, I'll take the picture, because, you know...

Max Berman: I'll tell you what, next time I'll get a picture, how about that?