Cooker Quotes in Strange Wilderness (2008)

[from trailer]

Conservationist: What are you doing?

Cooker: I'm definitely not burning ants with a magnifying glass if that's what you're implying.

[laughs]

Whitaker: [having an epiphany] Uh, guys, I don't wanna die. For the first time in 11 years I'm seeing the world through sober eyes. It's exhilerating. See, I have so much to live for right now. I want to find a nice girl and settle down, have kids, dance with them in the moonlight and everything. I want to do it all, you know?

Cooker: That was fucking beautiful. Take a bow.

[slams hand buzzer into Whitaker's crotch]

Whitaker: Hey, wait a minute. These are the fish that ate Dick, right?

Peter Gaulke, Cooker: Yeah!

Whitaker: Alright, so go with me here. If Dick is in the fishes, and we're eating the fishes, doesn't that mean we're eating Dick?

Cooker: [after a long pause] What the fuck!

[everyone spits out the fish in disgust]

Cooker: [to Dick] Does your name ever get hard in the morning?

Peter Gaulke: Is that a thong you're wearing?

Cooker: What the fuck you say?

Peter Gaulke: You have a thong on?

Cooker: [laughing] Yeah, I'm wearing a thong.

Peter Gaulke: I should've never hired you!

Cooker: That's the most un-American thing I've ever heard in my life!

Cooker: I was trying to make you feel better and you hit me in the head! Now there's a bump on my head. It looks like a dinosaur egg. If that dinosaur hatches people are gonna think I'm some sort of prehistoric gentleman bird.