Constantine Quotes in Muppets Most Wanted (2014)

Constantine: My name will go down as the greatest thief of all time!

Dominic Badguy: You mean our names, right?

Constantine: Of course. My name first, then spacebar, spacebar, spacebar... your name.

[Constantine is watching tapes of Kermit to study him]

Jim Henson as Kermit: [from The Muppet Show] It's The Muppet Show with our very special guest, Lynne Redgrave! Yea-a-a-a-a-a-a-y!

[pauses the tape]

Constantine: Yea-a-a-a-a-a-a-esss!

Jim Henson as Kermit: [from Sesame Street] Hi-ho, Kermit the Frog here...

[pauses]

Constantine: Hi-lo, Kyer-mit thee Frog heere.

Jim Henson as Kermit: [from The Muppet Movie] The lovers, the dreamers and me-e-e-e!

[pauses]

Constantine: Thee louvers, thee dreemers and chee-e-e-e-e-se!

[smirks]

Constantine: Nailed it.

Constantine: It's time to light the lights.

[Detonates explosives]

Constantine: [Pretending to be Kermit] A heartwarming lesson about sharing or waiting your turn or the number three.

Fozzie Bear: [after they discover 'Kermit''s true identity, they scream in horror] We gotta get outta here!

Walter: Yeah!

[But as they attempt to leave, Constantine is right in front of them]

Constantine: Not so fast...

Walter: Where's Kermit?

Fozzie Bear: Wh-wh-what do you want?

Constantine: You have wocka-ed your last wocka, bear.

[He prepares to attack them karate style. But then Animal attacks Constantine from above]

Animal: Bad frog!

Fozzie Bear, Walter: Animal! Good shot!

Animal: Thank you.

Miss Piggy: You may be the world's most dangerous frog, but you're still a FROG!

[beats up Constantine]

Miss Piggy: [in between punches] NO - ONE - TRICKS - ME - INTO - MARRYING - THEM - AND - THEN - HURTS - MY - KERMIE!

Constantine: [dazed] What a woman...

Kermit: Yeah, MY woman! And I believe this belongs to you!

[smacks Constantine with his mole]

Sam Eagle: Kermit, let's begin! / Describe the day you played Berlin!

Constantine: We rehearsed and then we walked about / We ate bratwurst and sauerkraut!

Jean Pierre Napoleon: That night at 10:03 / were you inside the portrait gallery?

Constantine: From 10:00 to 10:04 / was when we did the show encore!

Sam Eagle: Hmmm, frog, we've got our doubts / Can you confirm your whereabouts?

Constantine: My alibi is watertight / The audience saw me sing all night.

Jean Pierre Napoleon: Monsieur, we know you did the crime!

Constantine: I was on stage that whole time / Ask who sang "Rainbow Connection"!

Sam Eagle, Jean Pierre Napoleon: Thank you, Kermit! No more questions!

[Constantine tries to escape in a helicopter]

Constantine: Something's wrong! We're not moving!

[the Muppets have made a ladder out of themselves to stop the copter]

Constantine: You are ruining my getaway!

Constantine: It's not easy being mean.

[Constantine sees Dominic in an animal suit]

Constantine: Number Two, you look ridiculous! Why are you wearing that?

Dominic Badguy: Because I am the Lemur, and the world's new No 1 Criminal! That's right, this is where I double-cross you!

Constantine: First rule of double-cross: you don't announce the double-cross before you double-cross. It's not even a rule, because it's so obvious!

[blows up Dominic]

Constantine: When a guy like me gets kidnapped by a woman, he wants her to be twenty-five.