Connie Philpotts Quotes in Carry on Girls (1973)

Connie Philpotts: It's your girls I'm talking about, I've heard them all night long, doors banging ...

Sid Fiddler: Blimey, when you've got young dollies around you have to expect a bit of banging.

Connie Philpotts: Well, I expect you to get them into bed at a reasonable hour.

Sid Fiddler: I promise you, I'll do my very best!

Connie Philpotts: Hello, Mrs. Dukes, I thought you were going to the cinema.

Mrs. Dukes: I did, but I had to leave. A young man sat next to me and started to make improper suggestions.

Connie Philpotts: Again? Really, you should complain to the manager.

Mrs. Dukes: I can't - he's after me too, you see!

Connie Philpotts: Well, Mrs. Dukes, perhaps you shouldn't make yourself look quite so attractive.

Mrs. Dukes: Oh it's not that, I can't help it. I give out waves, you know.

Connie Philpotts: Really?

Mrs. Dukes: Yes, my late husband used to call it OOMPH!

Connie Philpotts: You and a bunch of beauty queens? It's like asking Dracula to be in charge of a blood bank!

Sid Fiddler: Now, now, wait a minute, that's not true. You know I don't go for beautiful women: I like you.

Connie Philpotts: That does it! Go on! You lecherous so-and-so, go on, GET OUT!

Ida Downs: Oh! You're a dirty old man!

Admiral: [to Connie] Mrs. Philpotts, I wish to complain. This young woman molested me.

Ida Downs: Well, I like that!

Admiral: Whether you like it or not, my dear, is quite immaterial.

Sid Fiddler: [to Ida] Yes, all right, darling, I'll sort it out.

Admiral: Cheeky little thing! I'd like to put her across my knee.

Connie Philpotts: I'm sure you would, Admiral!

Sid Fiddler: Connie, have you got a room for this young lady please?

Connie Philpotts: Well, of course, Sidney!

[Handing over the key]

Connie Philpotts: I think you'll find this an ideal one.

Sid Fiddler: Thank you, Connie. Hey, just a minute, that's for the broom cupboard.

Connie Philpotts: That's right: where we keep all the scrubbers!

Sid Fiddler: [to a furious Hope] All right, all right, keep your hair on!

[Hands her another key]

Sid Fiddler: Here, go and change in mine. I'll sort it out later.

Hope Springs: Ta. I heard that - does she fancy you or something?

Sid Fiddler: You know how it is, a widow with a place like this, things get on top of her.

Hope Springs: Yeah, I bet they do. Frequently!