Concierge Quotes in Beavis and Butt-Head Do America (1996)

Concierge: [leading Beavis and Butt-head into their room] I'm sorry about that little misunderstanding, gentlemen. We didn't realize you were registered guests. If there's anything we can do to...

Beavis: [sees TV and remote attached to table, tries to lift it] Damn it. This thing is stuck.

Concierge: Sir, it's attached to the...

Butt-head: You dumb-ass, let me try.

Beavis: [stops] Hey, check it out. That guy's still standing there.

[Concierge holds out hand, expecting tip]

Butt-head: Uhh, could you, like, not stand there and stuff?

Butt-head: [as soon as concierge leaves] Some people are dumb.

Herman Blume: Indefinitely. I'm being sued for divorce.

Concierge: Very good sir.

Concierge: Who d'ya want?

Leo Bloom: I beg your pardon?

Concierge: Who d'ya want? Nobody gets in the building unless I know who they want. I'm the "concierge". My husband used to be the "concierge", but he's dead. Now I'M the "concierge".

Max Bialystock: We are seeking Franz Liebkind.

Concierge: Oh... the Kraut! He's on the top floor, apartment 23.

Max Bialystock: Thank you...

Concierge: ...But you won't find him there... he's up on the roof with his boids. He keeps boids. Dirty... disgusting... filthy... lice-ridden boids. You used to be able to sit out on the stoop like a person. Not anymore! No, sir! Boids!... You get my drift?

Leo Bloom: We... uh... get your "drift". Thank you, madam.

Concierge: I'm not a "madam"! I'm a "concierge"!

Kate: Do you speak English?

Concierge: Of course, Madam. This is the Georges V, not some backpacker's hovel.

Kate: Hi there. C'est moi.

Concierge: [coolly] Welcome back, Madame, to the Georges V.

Kate: Huh... it's incredible how you do that. The words come out - "Welcome back" - but the meaning is completely different. What's the deal, is that a French thing or a concierge thing?

Concierge: As Madame wishes.

Kate: You did it again. Tell me something, because I just... I don't get it. Do you enjoy being that rude? Because when you do that, it just gets underneath my skin, and it makes me... completely... INSANE!

Concierge: Thank you, Madame, for that fascinating lesson in our cultural differences. I'm sure it would not betray my duty as concierge to inform you that your fiance and his "friend" are no longer our guests.

Kate: Well, whose guests would they be now?

[the Concierge hesitates. Kate raises her hand over the bell, and the Concierge snatches it off the desk, becoming all politeness and helpfulness]

Concierge: The Carleton Hotel will have that privilege when they arrive in Cannes this evening. If Madam wishes to catch the last train out of Paris, it will be departing from the station in one hour. I could arrange for a taxi very quickly, Madame.

Kate: [sweetly] Yes, thank you.

concierge: Hey, you speak Spanish now!

Pierre Gilieth: No, but I understand the situation.