Colonel Stars and Stripes Quotes in Kick-Ass 2 (2013)

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Colonel Stars and Stripes Quotes:

  • Colonel Stars and Stripes: Try to have fun. Otherwise, what's the point?

  • Mr. Kim: Ow, it hurts!

    Colonel Stars and Stripes: Yeah there's a dog on your balls!

    [laughs]

  • Mr. Kim: Who the hell are you?

    Colonel Stars and Stripes: We're the good guys.

  • Insect Man: I've been bullied my whole life for being gay. So now I stand up for the defenseless. It's why I don't wear a mask. Too much like being back in the closet.

    Colonel Stars and Stripes: As long as your heart's in the right place, we don't care what you put in your mouth.

  • Colonel Stars and Stripes: [to Eisenhower] You have to stay in there till you calm down, you lunatic. Wonder what's bothering you.

    Mother Russia: I know. Tonight you die.

    Colonel Stars and Stripes: [draws gun] Ladies first.

    Mother Russia: You will not shoot me. You are super hero. You help people. You do not hurt them.

    Chris D'Amico: That's super villain territory or as I like to call my little gang, The Toxic Mega-Cunts.

    The Tumor: [waves] Hi.

    Colonel Stars and Stripes: [takes gun; clicks, Mother Russia realizes it's empty] Yeah, just like your head.

    Genghis Carnage: [Mother Russia overpowers Colonel, pulls out a machete and stabs him] Yeah!

    The Tumor: Ooh, that's gotta hurt.

    [Mother Russia uses Colonel's coat to wipe his blood off her blade]

    Chris D'Amico: I did my homework on you, Colonel. You used to be Sal Bertolinni, didn't you? Did a few jobs for my dad back in the day before you got born-again?

    Colonel Stars and Stripes: [dying] I used to hangout with a lot of losers.

    Chris D'Amico: Is this how you thought you would die, Sal? Dressed like an idiot?

    Colonel Stars and Stripes: Who are you supposed to be?

    Chris D'Amico: I'm the Mother Fucker! And I'm here to end Kick-Ass. Not just kill him. I am going to shit on everything that he loved. Let's trash this place guys.

    [picks up mail statement]

    Chris D'Amico: Miranda Swedlow. Who's that, Sal? She one of the whores on your team?

    [googles her name and matches her with her face on the poster]

    Chris D'Amico: Night Bitch. All snuggled up to Kick-Ass. Looks like our boy's got a new hot pocket.

    Mother Russia: Want me to kill his dog?

    Chris D'Amico: The dog, Jesus Christ, I'm not that evil. Cut the old man's head off. You guys hungry? I'm starving. Let's go get some pizza.

    Mother Russia: Don't worry, I kill you first.

    [wraps legs around Colonel's neck]

    Colonel Stars and Stripes: Justice Forever...

    [snaps neck; dies]

Browse more character quotes from Kick-Ass 2 (2013)

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