Coleman Quotes in Wild Wild West (1999)

Coleman: President thought you boys could use a little looking-after. But I draw the line at defying gravity, so good luck.

Coleman: Good God! He must be stopped!

General Rancor: Dick Steele couldn't stop me fifteen years ago, and all the Dicks you got won't stop me now!

Coleman: Well, apparently he hasn't, uh, seen the size of some of our newer members!

Billy Ray Valentine: [watches Louis clean his shotgun] You know, you can't just go around and shoot people in the kneecaps with a double-barreled shotgun 'cause you pissed at 'em.

Louis Winthorpe III: Why not?

Billy Ray Valentine: 'Cause it's called assault with a deadly weapon, you get 20 years for that shit.

Louis Winthorpe III: Listen, do you have any better ideas?

Billy Ray Valentine: Yeah. You know, it occurs to me that the best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people.

Coleman: You have to admit, sir, you didn't like it yourself a bit.

Billy Ray Valentine: [on his first day of work] What if I can't do this job, Coleman? What if I'm not what they expected?

Coleman: Just be yourself, sir. Whatever happens, they can't take that away from you.

Louis: My God! The Dukes are going to corner the entire frozen orange juice market!

Ophelia: Unless somebody stops them...

Coleman: ...or *beats* them to it.

[all turn and look at him]

Coleman: Egg-nog?

Coleman: [offering Billy Ray a sip from his flask; Coleman dressed as a priest, Billy Ray in African garb] Would you like a sip of whiskey?

Billy Ray Valentine: I do not drink, it is against my religion!

Coleman: Religion is a good thing I say, taken in moderation.

Billy Ray Valentine: [as Louis is choking him] lt... was... the... Dukes! lt... was... the... Dukes!

Louis Winthorpe III: You're a dead man, Valentine.

Billy Ray Valentine: [gasping, after Ophelia and Coleman stop Louis from choking Billy Ray] It was an experiment... to see how our lives would turn out... the Dukes arranged it... they made a bet.

Coleman: I'm afraid it's true, sir.

Ophelia: I believe him, Louie.

Louis Winthorpe III: The Dukes... ruined my life... over a bet? For how much?

Billy Ray Valentine: A dollar.

Louis Winthorpe III: One dollar... fine. That's the way they want it? No problem.

[cut to Louis cleaning and loading an array of shotguns in the den]

Billy Ray Valentine: [after breaking a vase] Hey, sorry about that.

Randolph Duke: It's perfectly all right William. It was your vase.

Billy Ray Valentine: That was a cheap vase, right? That was a fake? Right?

Randolph Duke: I believe we paid $35,000. But if I remember correctly, we valued it for the insurance company at $50,000. You see, Mortimer? William has already made us $15,000.

[Coleman, Mortimer, Randolph, and Billy Ray start laughing]

Billy Ray Valentine: You want me to break something else?

Randolph Duke, Mortimer Duke, Coleman: NO!

[first lines]

Coleman: [holding a breakfast tray while Louis is still asleep] Your breakfast, sir.

Coleman: You got somethin'. You got... You got somethin' in here. It's so deep in there, and you gotta beat it. You gotta face that fear. You GOT to, because if you don't, you're gonna be me, and, buddy, you don't want that. But if you do - and I don't care if you never run another race in your life - because if you DO face that fear, it'll change your life. I promise you. It's the hardest thing you'll ever have to do, but you gotta do it. Oh, you gotta do it. And then you'll be able to push right through the pain. You'll go right through the door. And when you're about ready to pass out and your legs can't move and your lungs can't breathe and your eyes can't see, you'll know that it's just the beginning, and it's so beautiful. It's beautiful. That's all I've been tryin' to teach you. Okay?

Drew Jacobs: You think a five-minute mile is fast?

Coleman: Uh, you run ten of 'em, yeah, but you can't run with a temper. You gotta be in control or you beat yourself.

Coleman: But you are fast.

Drew Jacobs: Fast enough to win State?

Coleman: Uh, State Fair, maybe. Quit worrying about who you're gonna beat. Running's not about that.

Drew Jacobs: Running is running. That's it.

Coleman: Is it?

Drew Jacobs: Yeah.

Coleman: Oh, Jeez, I'll have to read your book. Want to prove me wrong?

Coleman: You're made for the mile, not the 400, and the sooner you realize that, the better off you're gonna be.